Happy Campers Page #3

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EXT. CENTER OF CAMP--PRESENT DAY

A FEMALE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COUNSELOR OF EXTREME COMPETENCE ]

sails past Donald to deftly gauze the nasty, nosebleeding ]

girl. Donald spins away right into Talia. She snickers as ]

he scrambles away. ]

A Jewish non-princess oozing an urban sharpness, Talia goes

to light a cigarette. Realizing the potential no-no factor,

she pockets the cig with a sigh, then notices a SAD LONELY

GIRL plopped on a rock, backpack against chest.

With a deep breath, Talia approaches and crouches beside

the Sad Lonely Girl.

TALIA:

You look a like you could use a

friend. You know, I'll never forget

my first day at camp. Boy, I was

so nervous that I...

WENDY:

(rushing up)

Hey--whaddya say, we need another

muskrat to join our Sunshine circle.

Scurry up! Isn't Fun great!

Blossoming, the No-longer-lonely girl gallops off, leaving

Talia gaping. Talia's buddy Wichita sidles up with a chuckle,

throwing an arm around the rising-in-defeat Talia. They watch

No-longer-lonely girl being tucked into the circle of

handclappers.

TALIA ]

So much for that child psychology ]

class we took last semester. ]

]

WICHITA ]

I warned you, Talia--Childhood has ]

got nothing to do with children. ]

]

TALIA ]

How can you compete with "Isn't Fun ]

great?" ]

Talia nestles a little further into Wichita's arm.

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.)

Talia liked kids. In theory. Talia

liked nature. In pictures. Talia

was city-cigarette-cynicism

temporarily located 72 miles outside

of Portland for one reason: Him.

EXT. THE LAKE--FLASH FORWARD DAY ]

]

AN UNSTOPPABLY MUTTERING CAMPER GIRL is glommed to the side ]

of Talia, who is standing in the lake, staring out to a ]

shirtless Wichita playing frisbee in the wind. ]

]

UNSTOPPABLY MUTTERING GIRL ]

It-was-just-like-summer-camp-except- ]

it-was-on-a-farm-in-Canada-and-nobody- ]

wore-any-clothes-Guess-how-many-rated- ]

R-movies-I've-seen?-Three-The- ]

Shawshank--- ]

]

Not breaking visual contact with Wichita, Talia firmly dunks ]

the Muttering Girl's talking head beneath the water. ]

]

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.) ]

Wichita, the gorgeous gentile with ]

the only bullshit detector cranked ]

as high as hers was. She loved him ]

from the moment he moved into the ]

dorm. For a chance to deepen their ]

friendship, Talia would have done ]

anything. Unfortunately, summer ]

camp has a way of redefining the ]

word "anything." ]

]

Talia plucks back up the Muttering Girl who sputters some ]

water then picks up where she left off. ]

]

UNSTOPPABLY MUTTERING GIRL ]

Redemption-Repo-Man-Schindler's-List--- ]

all rated R. My-favorite-food-is- ]

Chinese-food, my-second-favorite- ]

food is... ]

EXT. CENTER OF CAMP--PRESENT DAY

Talia tenderly lifts her head from Wichita's shoulder.

TALIA:

College was entertaining, Wichita,

but after 40 days and 40 nights of

this, I really think we're going

to get to know each...

WICHITA:

Ooh look, time to confiscate my first

water balloon...

Wichita dutifully withdraws his arm and bolts off, leaving

Talia in a contorted dangle. She straightens with an exhale.

Behind her, a Camper Boy is nailed to the ground by a

backpack jettisoning from the back of the bus.

THE BACK OF THE BUS

ADAM, a severely muscular counselor of the fascist mode,

bellows down a hearty laugh to the crushed camper.

ADAM:

What's wrong with you little vaginas?

Weak! Next!

EXT. SOMEWHERE ELSE IN THE WOODS--DAY ]

]

Adam is leading his young "troops" in a boot camp trot down ]

a forest trail. ]

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.)

Adam needed little elaboration. As

a child, he tasted the whip. Now,

after years of waiting, it was Adam's

turn to crack it.

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