Hard Luck Page #3

This is my car. Hell, no!

Shoot him! Shoot him!

- Headed south on Waterman.

- Cut him off at the tunnel.

I'm three blocks away.

Get your ass there now!

Stop the f***ing car!

This f***er's out of his mind.

He went in the tunnel.

Take the Thompson Street over-ramp

and block the exit.

We'll get him from behind.

You need to go to a hospital.

Hold on.

Seal the exit! Seal the exit!

- Get there, now!

- I'm right on top of you.

Motherf***er!

You need to go to a hospital.

No hospitals. No hospitals.

Bring me a towel

with some hot water on it.

And don't forget the soap.

Bring the soap.

Look, you want me to help you,

you gotta put that thing away.

- Okay. Take your clothes off.

- Are you f***ing nuts?

It ain't like I ain't already

seen you naked. Take your sh*t off.

Look, this way I know

you're less likely to bounce.

Take your sh*t off.

What, what, do you need a beat?

Happy?

Carmen.

That's your dance name, right?

What's your real name?

- Angela.

- Okay.

Angela, who's probably

not from Cuba, listen.

I have no intentions of hurting you.

Just don't make me

get stupid, all right? Just be cool...

...do what I say, everything will

be all right. You feel me?

Yeah, I feel you.

Here. Help me get this off.

It's showtime.

You should be a nurse, girl.

What? And leave my good-paying job

as a stripper?

My mother was a nurse

in Puerto Rico. Minimum wage.

- Do I believe this story?

- Why not? It's free.

Translation?

Heal, heal, by the butt of a frog.

If it doesn't heal today,

it'll heal tomorrow.

Try it. It's good luck.

Okay, well, now that

you're all bandaged up...

...I should let you rest.

Yeah, we both should.

It's a good idea.

Come lay down next to me.

Look. As much sh*t

as I've done in my life...

...I've never housed a woman

for some p*ssy.

And I don't plan on starting now.

Just lay down.

Other side. Away from the door.

Just humor me.

- What you doing?

- You want some?

- You got a lot of game, huh?

- I was referring to the lip-gloss.

So how long are you gonna

hold me hostage?

Good question.

Why are you doing this?

Mama.

Stop tape.

Mama.

- It's your turn.

- I did it the last f***ing time.

It's your kid, babe.

I'll handle it from here.

- Mama.

- I'm coming, baby.

Mama!

Oh, honey. Here.

Let's take the mask off.

That's okay, baby.

We'll put it right back on.

Here. Okay. Come on.

All right. Come on.

That's a good boy.

Come on, sweetie.

Here. You sit down, right here.

Oh, yeah. It's okay.

We'll take this off just for a minute.

- I wanna be Spiderman.

- Oh, we'll see. We'll see.

I wanna go trick-or-treating.

I want candy, Mama.

Baby, you can't go out there.

Here are your meds.

Here are your meds. Take that now.

Good boy.

- Okay, that's good.

- I wanna go trick-or-treating, Mama.

I know, baby.

I'm... Mommy's gonna sing to you.

Mommy's gonna sing to you now.

Okay?

I finally get my hands on

a half a million dollars and it's wired.

Gotta be bank money

or cop money.

No one else would rig it up like that.

If I try to keep it,

we're both in danger.

She doesn't even know.

It doesn't seem fair.

Only one way out.

That money was our lifeline.

- What?

- Gino.

It's for you.

- Yeah.

- Hey, look.

No problems, no questions.

Return all the money

and then everything is cool, right?

- Where are you?

- I'll call you back. No!

No.

- Are we dead?

- Yes.

Okay. So we have the most

wonderful thing for you tonight.

Yes.

The most beautiful little rat.

I had a pet rat

when I was in junior high.

But sometimes rats get hungry.

- What the f***?

- Stop the tape.

- I think she's dead, Walter.

- You're shitting me.

- I can't find a pulse.

- F***ing Jesus-f***ing-Christ.

Okay, get away from... Get a...

Gee, she's probably got

that bird-flu thing.

Yeah, sure.

- Check that out.

- What is it?

B*tch had a f***ing heart condition,

is what it is.

I suppose that's my fault.

None of my picks

ever dropped dead on us.

So all of a sudden

you're the health expert.

You can tell if someone walking

down the street has a heart condition.

Look, you gonna help me with this?

You were sleeping.

What are you doing?

- What the f*** is all this purple sh*t?

- The security dye in with the money.

- How would I know that was in there?

- Why are you rummaging...

...through people's sh*t?

- People? Nigga, what people?

I don't see people. You held me

hostage at gunpoint...

...and nearly tried to rape me.

- Rape you? I don't even want you.

Okay. What about, "Oh, take off all

your clothes and lie down with me"?

Would you... Look at this sh*t,

would you? Look at this sh*t. Look.

You need to buy me a new fur.

If you don't get that fake sh*t

out of my face...

Man. That money

was our bargaining chip.

Bargaining chip? Look, whatever.

All I know, there's another briefcase.

If that briefcase is full of money,

just break me off my share...

...for of all of my troubles,

and I'll be on my merry freaking way.

What is wrong with you?

It's an identical case.

There's a security device

in that one too.

You need a special tool to de-rig it.

F***.

You know what? That's a good idea.

You wanna bounce, just leave. Take...

So wait. You get to keep

it all for yourself.

What story am I

supposed to believe?

I'm sorry.

Mommy, he's purple

like Lord Krishna.

The old-man mask is $7.99.

And I'm gonna need

to price-check that.

- Can't I just wear it?

- Sure.

After you take it off and pay for it.

Matt? I'm gonna need a price check

on the old-lady mask.

Price check on three.

Still waiting on a price check on three

on an old-lady mask.

It's a dye. It's not gonna

come off the money. That's the point.

Oh, hell no. I'm gonna clean

this b*tch off and I'm gonna spend it.

Sh*t. Why does this sh*t

always happen to me?

And I just got my hair done.

- Turn around.

- Why?

So I can do your back, okay?

Be gentle, please.

Here, caf con leche.

Prick.

- Who's gonna pay for all this?

- Money was rigged.

Come over here. Look at this tub.

Who's gonna clean that?

Yeah. For what?

Yeah, tell him I'm on my way.

- Captain wants to see me.

- I'm talking to you. Come over here.

Look at the tub.

These little Mad Cow burgers

are the bomb.

Excuse me.

Did you blow one? Oh, sh*t.

You're the one who paid $60

to stick your face in my ass.

I should have gave you incense

and stuck that up your ass.

- Protected the crime scene.

- Like you never fart.

Sh*t, I don't fart like that.

These are good,

but Mickey D's fries are better...

...because they fry them in some

crazy beef or silicone or something.

For real.

Did you see that flick on it?

Yeah, Super Size Me.

Listen to that harmony. Listen.

Excuse me. This is my car.

That's my demo. This is my world.

Look, if I'm delaying you

from your pursuit of happiness...

...fame, fortune and your meeting

with Puffy, fine.

You and your demo

can bounce, all right?

I mean, I'll de-rig the money

and I'll send you some of it.

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