Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle Page #7

- Yes!

- Dude!

- Hey, what's that smell?

- What smell?

Kumar.

If we still have time.

We might still get by

Every time I think about it

I wanna cry

With bombs and the devil.

And the kids keep comin'

No way to breathe easy.

No time to be young

But I tell myself

that I'm doin' all right

There's nothin' left

to do at night

But go crazy on you

Crazy on you

Let me go crazy.

Crazy on you

Crazy on you

B*tch! Learn how to f***in'

make coffee, you f***in' whore!

Let me go crazy.

Crazy on you

I love you.

No, no, no.

No, baby, come on.

Hey, Kumar. Kumar!

Where are you...

Kumar!

Still in jail, a**hole!

Come here!

Kumar! The cops...

You thought you'd

get away with it, huh?

I was in bed.

I didn't fire any gun. I swear.

Hey, Jackson's trying to escape!

What are you talking about?

I'm just sitting here.

He's trying to break free!

Get him!

- Aw, sh*t.

- Don't move!

Stop resisting!

We need backup now!

- He's got a gun.

- That's not a gun, that's a book.

- Secure the book!

- Book is secure.

You bring this filth in here?

What is this sh*t?

Wait, wait. We gotta

do something about this.

We're gonna teach you

how to read now, brother.

If I were you, I'd leave

as soon as possible.

- Whose hand is that?

- Thanks, man.

Jesus Christ.

Thanks for getting me out, man.

No problem. The burgers wouldn't

taste as good if you weren't there.

Hey, look at this.

It's like we went from being

completely poor to being millionaires.

- What was that?

- Probably just a coyote.

Aren't people supposed to

be scared of coyotes?

That's just

'cause they sound scary, man.

In one-on-one combat, either of us

could take down a coyote, no problem.

What?

Now, cheetahs are another story.

- We're gonna die.

- No, now hold on.

Cheetahs are used to

eating gazelles and sh*t.

They're not known

for eating humans.

That is a corpse.

We're gonna die.

Sh*t!

That's not a good sign.

Maybe if we just stay really,

really still, he'll just go away.

Okay.

Just stay really still.

Don't move, okay?

Just stay right there.

Very good. Good job.

This isn't working.

He's mauling me!

He's mauling me!

Dude, I told you not

to bring the beef jerky.

He likes me.

Hey, Rold, I have an idea.

- You gotta be kidding me, man.

- Uh-uh.

This is either a really smart move

or by far the stupidest thing

that we have ever tried.

Well, we're about to find out.

Mush!

I told you this was...

Oy vey!

Dude, am I really high,

or is this actually working?

- Both!

- This is awesome!

We're gonna be

at White Castle in no time!

That was close, huh, Roldy?

Harold.

I need you, Harold.

I need you, Harold.

Come here.

- Come here, Harold.

- Maria.

- Come, Harold.

- I'm coming, baby!

I want you to hold me.

Papi. I need you.

Baby, I'm a-comin'!

Not so fast.

Watch out, watch out

Come on!

Bullets... my only weakness.

How did you know?

Maria

Harold.

Maria.

Maria

Maria. Maria

Watch out, watch out

Watch out, watch out

What the hell

are you doing? God!

You've been out cold

for the past half-hour.

I figured maybe if I did

some gay sh*t you'd wake up.

If we did some gay sh*t?

Where are we?

Didn't we come here on a cheetah?

Where's the cheetah?

It ran away. Listen, forget

about the cheetah, okay?

I have some bad news

and some worse news.

Give me the worse news first.

I looked at some

of the road signs up there,

and it looks like the cheetah

took us in the wrong direction.

- Sh*t!

- Yeah.

- Sh*t!

- Yeah.

All right, what's the bad news?

Your laptop's completely destroyed.

What?

Why didn't...

Why didn't you tell me...

How is that not

the worse news?

The laptop situation

really only affects you,

whereas the White Castle

situation affects both of us equally.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

All my work was saved

on this computer.

Now I gotta go back

to the office and redo it.

Exactly.

First we'll go to White Castle...

Forget about White Castle.

There is no time.

Car.

Hello. Over here!

Sh*t.

Whoa.

Yeah. Um...

All right,

we'll get a pay phone,

get a cab back

to your office, all right?

Come on. You all right?

- Hey, check this out!

- Yeah, nice!

Hey, Apu!

Jesus. These guys

are frickin' everywhere.

Who's looking after

the Kwik-E-Mart while you're gone?

You two going

to share a curry Slurpee?

F***ing a**holes.

Dude, check it out.

It's Rosenberg and Goldstein.

I want that.

What, a Hot Dog Heaven

super chili cheese dog?

No. I want that feeling.

The feeling that comes over a man

when he gets

exactly what he desires.

I need that feeling.

Are you saying

what I think you're saying?

- We gotta go to White Castle.

- Yes, yes!

I knew you had it in you, dude.

Yo, is that Cindy Kim?

Oh, dude, you should've boned her

when you had the chance, man.

Check it out.

Why don't you guys

just leave us alone?

What are you gonna

do about it, Mr. Miyagi?

That's extreme, man!

There's no sense

getting all riled up

every time a bunch of idiots

give you a hard time.

The universe tends

to unfold as it should.

Nothing.

- F***ing extreme!

- I'm so sick of their bullshit.

Don't worry. The universe

tends to unfold as it should.

What is that,

some fortune cookie?

Hey, I got a plan.

Follow my lead, okay?

- Your lead?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Whoa, what are you doing?

Oh, sh*t!

Those pricks!

- This is your plan?

- It's working, isn't it?

Come on, come on!

Get 'em, guys!

- Jerk-offs!

- My truck!

Thank you, come again.

Dude, that was so not extreme.

I know, Extreme Sport Punk

Number One.

I know.

Let's find us some tunes, baby.

"Cole's Extreme Mix, Volume 5"?

What is this sh*t?

And I need you now tonight

Those guys are f***in' posers.

And if you'll only hold me tight

Baby. Baby. The stars

are shining foryou

And just like me.

I'm sure that they adore you

Baby. Baby

Go walking through the forest

Things'll go your way

Hold on for one more day

I know that there is pain

But you hold on for one more day

And you break free

from the chains

Yeah. I know that there is pain

But you hold on

for one more day

And you break free

right from the chains

Someday somebody's gonna

make you wanna turn around

- And say good-bye

- Say good-bye

Until then, baby

Are you gonna let 'em

hold you down and make you cry?

Don't you know

things can change

Things'll go your way

If you hold on for one more day

Hold on

Bingo.

Yeah, dude! Cherry Hill, man.

We're almost there.

I told you, man!

I found 'em,

and I'm gonna need backup.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Sh*t.

Fudge, dude.

Are you kidding me?

- What the hell are you doing?

- I'm not going back to jail, man.

We've come too far.

Now buckle up. Buckle up!

We got a chase on our hands.

- Ready?

- Yeah. For what?

Oh, sh*t!

- Where the f*** you takin' us?

- Just hold on.

What the...

It's a good thing I have an empty

stomach or else I'd puke right now.

We're gonna make it.

Everything's gonna be all ri...

Oh, my God!

Oh, sh*t. Holy sh*t.

- Put her in reverse. Hurry!

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