Harsh Times Page #4

It scared you straight, huh?

- Mm-hmm.

- Hey, you get booty-played?

(laughing)

Hell, no.

You over there tickling

your brown eye, dog?

They-they put some jelly

on there, serve some syrup?

- You toss the salad?

- Hey, you know, nigga,

I kept my ass to the wall

and my mouth shut.

Shoot.

I almost lost my job

over that sh*t.

F***in' around in there.

Oh, God...

- You a cop?

- Nope.

Rejected his ass.

F*** you.

I'm getting

in the Feds' car.

(laughs):

Damn...!

That's what I'm talking about!

Ah, you hear that?

This motherf***er

gonna be a Fed.

Yeah.

You been wanting that sh*t, too.

It's my dream, dude.

So, you gonna do

that sh*t right,

or, you know, you gonna do

a little sh*t on the side?

I'm gonna get

my own thing going.

You know, I'll be flipping sh*t,

make a little money.

- You know?

- (laughing)

This motherf***er

gonna have sh*t wired.

Scary, huh?

(Jim clears throat)

Check this sh*t out.

Oh, hello!

(chuckles):

Oh-ho-ho-ho!

This is sweet!

We jacked some eses.

Got a BB gun, too.

- A BB gun?

- Yo.

Goddamn!

This is a nice little machine.

Three bills, it's yours.

I ain't got

three bills, dog.

My lawyer cleaned me out.

(sighs):

Man...

I ain't got no ways

or means, homie.

I need this sh*t, too.

Bring the heat

to these motherfuckers

trippin' around here.

We need ends, dog.

Who'll give us

three bills for it?

Hey, uh, I know a cat.

Hangs out at, uh... La Licha

on, uh, Santa Fe.

Yeah, I know that place.

He cool?

Oh, man, he's old school,

real cool.

Veterano named Eddie.

He there today?

Oh, that's just like

his living room, dog.

Mm.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll hook you up.

Don't worry about it.

Cool, cool.

Yo, uh...

Y'all need to

come up, dog.

Can you do me a favor?

Sure.

You mind calling my pad

and leaving a fake message

so my old lady thinks I'm

out there looking for a job?

Instead you out

getting f***ed up.

(both laughing)

Can you hook me up,

or what, dog? Huh?

Yeah? All right.

Check this out.

Uh, just call, right?

(coughs)

And say you're from

that place right there

and that you want

to schedule an interview, dude.

Man, y'all some devious

motherfuckers, man.

(laughing)

(mumbles)

Hey, hey, make sure

she can't star-69 my sh*t.

Nah, she's...

Serious, man.

I ain't trying to break up

no sh*t on this.

All right, it's ringing.

Here you go.

- Be serious, dude.

- Hey, hey,

don't sound like a

fag, either, man.

That's how he be sounding.

(clears throat)

Uh, Mr. Alonzo,

I'm calling

from Sunhouse Properties,

uh, to schedule an interview.

Uh, please call me back

at 213-555-

Oh...

damn, dog!

That sh*t was

good, dude!

Damn, they should give you

a f***in' Oscar for that sh*t.

That sh*t was cold, man.

- Playing your woman like that.

- Aw, come on, man.

I did three yesterday--

she bought him a six-pack.

- Yeah.

- (laughs)

What's one call get you,

a f***in' 40

of St. Ides?

I'll be like this. Look.

- (all laughing)

- You know you would!

You know you would!

B*tch-ass motherf***er.

(laughter continues)

This is good

sh*t, right?

I told you it was

some good sh*t, dog.

Hey, we got to bounce.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, no, y'all just

got here, dog.

Can't happen.

- Come on.

- Yo, uh, tell that guy Eddie

that we're gonna cruise through

there a little later.

Okay?

- Aw, yeah.

- Later, man.

I wish I had the money.

That's a sweet-ass

piece, though.

That sh*t'll keep

the porch clean.

Motherfuckers like y'all

won't be banging on my sh*t.

Hey, Jim.

We should lose

the monkey suits, dude.

(music playing)

Quien es?

Hey, bring us,

dos pistos, por favor,

mi reina.

Damn.

(whistles appreciatively)

Hey, dog, I don't

think they like us here.

F*** 'em.

I got my sh*t.

They make a move,

I'm blasting.

Which one of these fools

is Eddy?

Yeah. I don't know.

They're all paisas here.

Hey, why don't you ask

that homegirl right there?

Sientate, guapa.

Mm.

Habla Espanol?

Si.

Que bien.

Sabas donde esta

el Eddy?

Eddy, te hablan.

Que paso?

Do I know you?

My homeboy Darrell said

to talk to you.

Darrell?

Yeah.

I'm Jim, homie.

What's up, man? Mike, dog.

All right.

So what's up?

Need a cohete?

Maybe.

What kind?

Ruger P-94, brand-new.

Ruger, huh?

Yeah.

How many mags?

One high cap.

I'll throw in the hollow points.

Strictly Black Talons, homes.

Homies be wearing

vests these days,

know what

I'm saying?

Is it new?

Yeah, it's brand-new.

Where's it at?

I can get it.

How much?

Three bills.

I'll give you $250

if it's new.

If not, I'll give you $200.

Cool.

You got the feria, homie?

I can get it.

Orale.

Let's kick back,

have a couple pistos

before we handle business, eh?

Hey, guero, you like her?

I do need to get laid.

There it is right

there, brother.

Yo, give me that cohete.

(women screaming)

Mataste a un flor.

Oh, sh*t!

Open the f***ing door!

(engine starts)

MIKE:

Holy sh*t, dude!

(laughing)

You think he's gonna

f***in' die?!

Sure. Got his carotid.

F***er was garden-hosing.

He'll bleed out.

Oh, sh*t, dude,

I've seen dudes get shot, man,

but I never seen

no motherfucking sh*t

like that before, man!

F***ed his sh*t up, you know?

Quick as sh*t, too.

That crack-crack!

Turned that vato into

a fountain of blood.

Why the f***

did he do that, man?

That sh*t could have been

over anything, you know?

Money, drugs, b*tches,

respect, whatever.

That homie, straight-up pimp.

You know, maybe he turned out

that dude's daughter.

Looney tunes and sh*t,

glass all stuck

in his f***in' neck.

Did you see all that f***in'

blood over there?!

Yeah, man, the human body's

got a gallon.

Damn!

I coulda boned Gracie.

She had that proper thickness.

Look at me, dog.

Look at me.

I'm f***in' traumatized

and sh*t.

Yo, homie, that sh*t

don't f***in' faze you at all?

Oh, man,

I seen way worse.

Trashcanistan.

My battle buddy, he got his legs

and arms blown off

by a booby-trapped motorcycle.

Medic saved his ass

and he lived.

He didn't want to, but he did.

I got to face my woman.

How in the f*** am I supposed

to play this sh*t off, huh?

Man, you'll do it, player.

(siren wails in distance)

Hey, baby girl,

you cooking?

Yeah. Where have you been?

Oh, Jim's pad.

You been drinking?

Oh, you know,

I had a few brews.

A few?

Yeah.

You look wasted.

(gasps)

Don't trip, girl.

I've been working

all day.

I've been looking

for work all day.

I wish I could hang out and

get wasted like the old days.

You know what?

When I'm working,

you can lounge.

I'll fix this place up,

get you nice clothes

and stuff...

Mike, Mike, Mike.

It doesn't have anything

to do with money.

Come here.

Sit down. I want

to talk to you.

Hey, it's not

about stuff.

It's about you and me

needing an equal partner.

Right.

Hey, I know that you

supported me through college

and I'm gonna always

- owe you for that.

- Right.

Now everything's flipped

and I feel like I'm doing

everything alone.

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