Harte Jungs Page #2

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I'm tuned-in. Son.

I know exactly what's happening.

Many guys experience

what you're going through.

I'm not unique?

That's right.

And you mustn't go through

life always being ashamed. In fact

for many years, I was ashamed.

You were?

Are you anxious

about your problem?

Yeah, well, sort of.

It wants to control me.

I hear it telling me to...

Listen, none of that matters.

Don't forget.

Homosexuality is totally normal.

And you are normal.

Thanks for your help.

I was getting nowhere, fast.

The only person I had left to talk

to was my best friend Red Bull.

All I can say is it is

definitely about time, Fly. Here.

Are you positive?

No question. If your willy hadn't

started talking to you with

all these women running around

then I'd be really

worried about you, Fly.

Yeah, but

he's totally driving me

bughouse, dude.

I mean how can I get him to shut up?

Why rock the boat?

Just let him talk.

Like kids my age I go to school.

And like most kids

my age I have no choice.

But my friends and

I make the best of it.

What's up with you guys?

Nothing much. Only...

Fly's pecker has been

talking to him.

Hey! Wait a minute...!

Entire sentences?

How come you had to go

and broadcast it to everyone?

What does he say to you?

Stuff... I don't know.

I guess mostly he gives me advice.

Cool!

Is he good at math?

I could use some help

with my homework.

Awesome, dude.

My banana doesn't speak to me.

That's because you don't have one.

It's understandable.

Sshh, can it Sean.

We have a 'babe-alert'

Oh, my God!

She's a bomb!

My sister said Leone slept

with the entire football team.

You b*tch.

I'm going to sign up for football.

At that second it struck me

like a flash of lightning.

This was that special girl

mom was talking about.

There's our flowerpot.

Leone... even her name

sounded like sweet music.

Leone

Hey, bonerhead, wake up.

Let's follow her.

Just put one foot in front of

the other. It's called walking.

Look out, here comes Kye.

/Move it, geek!

I suppose you heard what

Kye did to Kevin last Monday.

No, what?

He held the guy over

the dirtiest toilet in school,

It hadn't been cleaned in forty years

and he gave the kid a 'swirly'

He even tried to flush him down.

You know what that was all about?

Because Kevin looked at

Leone a little too long.

That was all?

Do you plan to

say anything, Sparky?

I have no words.

You have no words for what?

To describe how I feel.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a theatre fan myself.

Say what?

Oh, Romeo and Juliet.

That's right. I play Juliet.

She's the tragic heroine that

everyone falls in love with.

Remember, it's this weekend?

Will you be going?

Go on and touch them.

They're probably real.

Yep, they're real. How about a kiss?

Hey, that doesn't go in your mouth.

Aaw, just when things were

getting interesting.

So, my name's Leone.

What's yours?

What?

Frenchy?

Oh, you're French. How nice.

Oh, I just love French.

Say something to me in French.

That's so romantic.

Are you ok?

Are you interested in

becoming a stage performer?

Yes yes yes!

A stage performer?

Say yes!

Oh, yeah. It's my hobby.

But I seldom get a chance to

show off my talent any more.

Well, you're in luck.

Kevin, our under-study for Romeo

just left the show.

Kevin?

I don't think so.

For me

Please?

My parents aren't home Friday

so come to the house.

We can practice undisturbed.

Just the two of us. We'll have fun.

Ooo, fun fun fun.

Ok.

On Friday, there's a full moon.

What?

You know, a 'full moon'.

A big boy like you

doesn't need an encyclopedia

to know what that means.

/Uh, no, of course not.

Ok, that's enough.

Hi, Kye. This is my new friend.

He's willing to help me with my lines.

He'll come over Friday and we'll

practice them together.

I thought I was coming over that day.

Maybe if you'd shown a little interest

in what I approached you then you

could have rehearsed your part with me.

But you passed. So I found

someone else to practice with me...

You better watch yourself.

/You and I are going to be

meeting up again real soon.

See you.

Bingo! See how easy it is

when you listen to me?

Alone with Leone?

Friday afternoon?

At her house?

That's amazing!

That's bitchin!

What's so great about her? Tell me.

A couple of things

and they're right out front to see.

Settle please...

thank you.

As soon as Patricia gets her tongue

dislodged from George's ear

I'll be happy to continue.

Now, as everyone knows

we have only five days left

before saturday's performance.

How many lines do you have?

Only one. Why?

Before we begin today's rehearsal

I have a small announcement to make.

As some of you may be aware

Kevin isn't here today.

He's not well.

He had a very traumatic experience.

In the bathroom.

As you know, the part he was

under-studying is important.

And if Casper gets sick...

Me? No way.

...then we'd have a gigantic problem.

But, because of Leone's help,

Florian is our new under-study

for the part of Romeo.

Huh? I'm under-studying Romeo?

We should give a big round of

applause to the guy for taking on

this assignment with such short notice.

To learn hundreds and hundreds of

impossible lines in Ancient English.

Way to go, man.

Why didn't you tell us?

Want to say anything, Florian?

I have something to say.

Who are you?

I'm Kyle.

Someone else got suddenly sick so

I've decided to step in and take

over their part in the play myself.

Show off.

Not only do I have to learn all of

the lines for Romeo but the class

psychopath is out to get me now.

Don't worry about learning all

those lines. Casper won't get sick.

Kyle won't be able to get near you.

You're never alone.

You've got us, your friends.

That's right.

There's safety in numbers.

If that moron Kye ever comes near you

I'll teach him a lesson.

Listen to me real good, you little rug rat.

You stay away from my girl friend

do you understand?

Your middle name is

going to be changed to 'swirly'

If I ever catch you looking at

her again... is that clear?

According to my encyclopedia, full moons

make people a little wild and

bring out tremendous passions in them.

Nine months later many

babies are born.

Oh, my god.

She wants to have sex with me.

Oh, man, that's awesome!

Oh, man, that's awesome!

She's a real pro.

Well, I'm not.

She's going to expect a real lot

from you 'cos she knows

what she's doing.

And you, you've got to get ready.

You've got to be a sex-machine.

Women always want a lot.

You've got to make her see stars.

Hey, if she's not satisfied,

you can never show your face around school.

Oh, man!

I hear she's done every position

in the Karma Sutra.

Karma-what?

Remember when you got that

remote-control car a few months ago?

/Yeah.

It came with a manual to operate it.

Yeah, so?

Well, the Karma Sutra is like a manual

on how to operate women.

Really?

Yeah, but girls don't come with them.

You have to buy them separately.

Hey, Red.

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