He Said, She Said Page #6

- This was a pass.

- You call that a pass?

Men are all alike.

You don't take us seriously.

No, wait. I was just thinking.

Was that a pass?

Oh, my God, you're right.

That was a pass. I'm sorry.

But what was I supposed to do?

There you were...

...vulnerable, attractive...

Oh, darn it.

Darn it, there I go again, you see?

I'm out of control,

I can't stop myself.

Anyway...I'm through

with all of you for a while.

Other things are more important

to me right now.

- Like what?

- The chance to say something.

To reach people.

What every journalist wants. To work...

...at the New York Times.

For now, I'll settle for this column.

My column!

I'm gonna make up a plate for you.

- No, don't.

- It's like eating with a shark.

- OK? A little pasta.

- Sauce.

- Salad.

- Tomato.

OK? Have fun.

To my column.

The paper doesn't come out

for a few more hours.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Cindy.

Yes, I know, isn't it great?

Oh, thank you.

Don't you think it's kind of a minor

victory, though, having his printed, too?

You're right, reactionary writing like his

will only make me look better.

No, I just got in.

Why, did you try calling earlier?

Adam... Oh.

God... No, that was hours ago.

Well, I was...

Actually, I was having dinner

with Mr Reactionary himself.

Well, yeah. He did crush

my contact lens, but it was OK.

Yeah. Well, no. Actually, I...

I had a good time.

No. This is a one-shot deal.

I won't let him spin his web around me.

Hi, Lorie, I haven't seen you here

in ages. Want to dance?

Good, but could you

tone it down just a little?

OK, next slow song,

the guy over there... Don't look.

- What was your name?

- Steve.

Steve. OK, thanks.

Here's the five bucks.

- No need to pay me.

- Keep it anyway.

Could you just button up your shirt?

Thank you.

Hi.

- Great music.

- Oh, it's fantastic.

What are you looking at?

I know that guy.

He is such a drag.

He's always chasing me. If he asks

me to dance, will you dance with me?

- I... Look, you know...

- Lorie.

It's me, Steve.

I haven't seen you in a long,

long time. You look great.

- Hi, I'm Dan.

- Wait. Would you like to dance?

I miss the way we move together.

Sorry, but I have this dance.

- Thanks, you saved me.

- No sweat.

Well...

- Well...

- Listen, I had fun.

Goodnight.

What's wrong?

I don't want to have to play games

and flirt and all that sh*t any more.

What I'm trying to say is...

you're a good guy.

Your politics are screwed up,

you're not a great writer,

but you're not a psycho

and you're cute, in a way.

Don't you ever get lonely?

I know you have a lot of women,

but don't you just get...

...lonely anyway?

And scared?

Like your whole life is going by,

and your days and your nights.

Nobody's around to see it,

except you.

I would just... I would just like

to be with you, tonight.

You're shaking.

Don't say you haven't done this before.

Not with you.

Will you, Olga, have this man, Olaf,

to be your husband?

To live with him in marriage,

according to the word of God?

Yes, I do.

I now pronounce them

husband and wife.

You owe me a drink.

What God has put together

let no one put asunder.

I'm so pleased you're here today.

There's a Swedish saying...

how does it go?

Which translates loosely to:

"Happiness is easy,

if you just take off your overcoat."

Well, today, I took off my overcoat.

But enough speeches.

Let's do the chicken dance.

- May I have this dance?

- I'd love to.

Oh, this is hunky-dory.

- Want to dance?

- No.

- Come on.

- I mean, there's just... No, because...

What's so funny?

- Hey...

- What?

I love you.

I'm not telling you this so that I'll get

the exact same response from you.

I'm just telling you

because these are my feelings.

If you can't express your feelings,

what's the point of having them?

And I feel really good

about telling you this.

You really don't have to say

anything in response.

Really, you don't have to.

Here you go, sweetie.

Thank you.

He probably doesn't even remember.

He always forgets the details.

All he remembers is the end result.

I remember every moment

we spent together.

All the little things.

Like when I fixed his carburettor.

He was so impressed.

Or when he broke the window.

You had to call the repairman.

The window, what window?

Oh, yes, I remember.

I'm sure he doesn't.

Well, enough of this.

From now on, no more looking back.

Do you think that guy at

the New York Times remembers me?

Next week, I could have a new job.

I think his number is still

in my Rolodex, back at the...

...studio.

Along with my car, my whole life.

- What shall I do with these?

- In the box with the files.

Thank you, Mark.

You're saving my life.

You never know what's going to be

tossed around on He Said, She Said.

See Hanson and Bryer, round two,

tomorrow at noon on Channel 11.

Wally, what the hell is going on

with these commercials?

I can't talk right now.

He'll tell you all about it.

Yeah. Do what you can.

Gotta go. Bye.

- Lorie, Lorie...

- Wally, Wally.

You are advertising a show

that is not going to be on.

Take it easy. Look at these messages:

"Good for Lorie." "It's about time!"

You're a hero. Most women would

love to do that to their husbands.

I don't want to be a hero.

And he is not my husband.

The last thing he will ever be

is my husband. Understand that?

Totally. But they all want to see

what you'll do tomorrow.

Weller wants to see.

That's why he's coming.

Then he's going to see a lot of nothing,

OK? Because, it's... Well...

It's over, all right? Dan and l, we...

We broke up.

My God.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

But you can still do the show.

It might be more interesting.

I can't believe you, Wally,

you're such a man.

Thanks.

How can you separate

love and work like that?

Well...love is love...work is work.

Love...work.

Work isn't love.

Love shouldn't be...

- All right.

- Look, I'll make it easy for you.

We'll tape his half before you arrive.

You needn't even see him.

I'm through, Wally.

All right, look...

I didn't want to say this,

but you've still got a contract.

I'm no good at being tough,

but the lawyers will eat you alive.

- Thanks, Wally, you're some friend.

- Please.

- Linda Metzger is on line 1.

- Not now. I'll call her back.

Linda Metzger?

- Is she calling here for Dan now?

- No, for me. We go way back.

She's nothing, she's always

chasing me. A fatal attraction.

She may be nothing to you,

but just her name makes me want to...

Oh, Linda.

- What?

- What?

- What did you just say?

- I said...

I said, "Oh, Linda."

I'm very sorry.

That's all right.

- I'm sorry.

- No, I see how it could happen.

We're both women,

our names begin with 'L'.

- You're sleeping with both of us.

- Not any more.

- When did you stop?

- When I started going out with you.

Started? Well, what does that mean?

Did you...?

- Did you do it after you slept with me?

- I... I can't remember.

You can't remember?

Think, think, Dan.

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