Head of State Page #7

NATO is the North Atlantic

Treaty Organization.

I thought you were talking about

this guy named Nato.

But you have to know these things.

Do you know Nato Jacobs?

Do you know Nato Jacobs?

I'm sorry, I haven't met the gentleman.

That's what I said.

You know nothing about Nato?

I know nothing about NATO.

Why are you out here

since inmates don't have the right to vote?

It's not about the vote.

We're looking out for the convicts.

We want to make sure

when they get out that they stay out.

The better the education,

they become more productive citizens.

Mitch! What's up?

Shorty G!

It's good to see you, boy!

This is Shorty G. I arrested his ass.

I thought you got the chair, boy.

Mr. Gilliam, how would you deal

with white-collar crime?

There's no such thing as white-collar crime.

And there's no such thing

as black-on-black crime.

Crime is crime.

I don't care if you have a white collar

or a tank top.

If you rob me, I'll whoop your ass.

I'm Janet Silvers reporting live in D.C.,

where transit operators...

- I wish we'd get into the White House.

- To have a cookout?

They were just talking about your ward.

What's going on down there?

They want to cut bus service

until they finish construction. I should go.

- So you can blow up the bus line?

- One thing at a time.

The Teamsters haven't endorsed Lewis yet.

Our numbers are going up.

If we want a real shot at this thing,

we got to get Lewis to debate.

He knows that. That's why he won't.

He's avoiding me

like he owes me child support.

He is scared. He's holding the ball,

hoping the clock will run out.

That's a punk move.

Ducking and hiding like a little b*tch!

That may be, but he won't debate you

because you call him a little b*tch.

What this community needs-

Is for you to debate me right now!

Tell the people that!

I thought I told you that we won't stop.

Now, my agenda-

I'll tell you about our agenda.

It's to have a debate right now!

Get rid of this zero and talk to the hero.

You got time to jog, but not to debate?

You can run, but you can't hide.

I thought I told you we won't stop.

What you looking for, the news?

The news is we want to debate!

- Why did you change the channel?

- He's scared!

- A word from our sponsor.

- We want to debate!

I thought I told you that we won't stop.

Yo, Lewis!

Your mother's ass is so big,

when she sits down she's three feet taller.

Yo, Lewis!

Your mother's got a really big ass!

Sir, it's time we prepare for a debate.

Give me one good reason

I should debate that jerk.

- He talked about your mother!

- So what?

Are you going to just let him

talk about me like that?

After some inventive chiding

on the part of Alderman Mays Gilliam...

Vice President Lewis

has finally agreed to one debate...

the night before the election.

So, baby brother, this is it. You ready?

All right, I guess.

You guess? You don't know?

You either ready or you ain't.

What's your problem? I'm ready, okay?

No, you ain't. Look at you.

If you call this ready, this won't get it.

Dress for the job you want,

not for the job you got.

You ain't talking about my clothes.

Come on now. This ain't about me.

If I got a good idea, it shouldn't matter

what the hell I'm wearing!

You know you messed up, man.

I'm telling you right now.

You know, this ain't about me!

Lewis ain't no punk. He ain't no joke.

That man has been Vice President

for eight years.

He's a war hero.

He's Sharon Stone's cousin.

You better come correct.

Yeah? Well, I got us this far!

This is as far as you're going to get!

- It's like that?

- That's the way it is.

Geller and them up there

pumping your head up.

But Lewis will smack it back down!

Oh, my God.

Little brother, you all right?

That's what your ass get.

You need anything?

Because it look like you need some help.

You gonna get yours! I'll tell Ma!

You better not tell!

Hello?

Don't intrude in my life anymore. I don't

want to have anything to do with you...

not after the way you treated me.

I'm sorry I threw you off the bus.

It was wrong.

I couldn't take what you were saying.

What do you want?

I want to win.

Welcome to New York City

for the 2004 Presidential Debates.

Where is he?

He was right behind me.

Should I look for him?

- They're getting nervous.

- We've got to do something.

- I can do something.

- No!

Ladies and gentlemen,

Vice President Brian Lewis.

Wait. Here they come.

Sweet.

Hello, Martin.

Sorry I'm late. I had to change.

- Mr. Earl, nice to see you.

- Nice to see you too, sir.

Let's move.

There are 250 million people out there

deciding who to vote for.

They all know Lewis

didn't want to debate you. Show them why.

- Stay focused.

- Take your time.

If he get out of pocket,

put your foot in his ass.

By the way, nice suit.

- "Fuh-buh"?

- Fubu.

Even I knew that.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Alderman Mays Gilliam.

Yo, when's Martin coming on, man?

My momma told me to whoop your ass.

The first question is directed

by coin flip to the Vice President.

Vice President Lewis...

what steps should be taken

to limit our youth's access...

to violent materials?

Our American children's futures

are at stake here.

We need to study this issue,

and appropriate legislation...

that will return us to an America

we can be proud of.

God bless America, and no place else.

Alderman Gilliam, same question, please.

How do we limit violent material? Turn it off.

And if the kids cut it back on,

knock them out.

That's why I don't smoke.

When I was a kid,

my daddy caught me smoking...

and he knocked me out!

And to this day, I don't smoke.

Not because I'm scared of cancer.

I don't smoke because I think my dad

is going to walk through that door...

and knock me the hell out!

Knock out your kids. It helps.

Vice President Lewis...

with over 10,000 gun deaths per year

in the United States...

do you believe we need

stricter gun control laws?

I don't think we need more gun control.

I say we enforce the laws

that are already on the books.

The problem is, nobody reads the books.

We need to start putting laws on videos...

because everybody watches videos,

MTV, BET.

We need to put some laws

on the Nelly video.

If you had laws on a Destiny's Child video

right now, you could stop crime.

- We already have gun licensing.

- But that's only to carry the gun.

Let the people decide.

The people can't decide. The people

are too busy getting shot in the ass.

That's my brother.

That's another reason he's not qualified.

Because I had the good sense to pick

my big brother to be my running mate?

I didn't come here to argue with you.

Yes, you did. We're having a debate.

A debate ain't nothing but an argument.

A debate isn't an argument.

- Yes, it is.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is.

- No, it isn't.

I know you are, but what am I?

Can we just move on? This is ridiculous.

Our next question comes from-

I have a question.

Would you like our reception

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