Head of State Page #8

to be buffet style or formal seating?

If you put Robert next to Nelson...

he'll be very angry

because he wanted to be your best man.

Security.

I love you so much-

The candidates have agreed upon

a short closing speech.

Vice President Lewis won the coin toss.

He has elected to go first.

Thank you.

- No, it isn't.

- Yes, it is!

Tonight you have seen two different men...

with two very different points of view,

battle to win your vote.

And this is what America is all about.

As we've seen tonight...

Alderman Gilliam

can be captivating and entertaining.

But America needs more than that

from its Commander in Chief.

To lead America, it takes experience.

Now, I've been Vice President

for the last eight years.

I'm a war hero,

and I'm Sharon Stone's cousin.

And to me,

America is like a fine performance car.

And now is not the time...

to turn this fine vehicle we call America...

over to the hands of an amateur.

I'm Brian Lewis, and I am your last chance.

God bless America, and no place else.

Yeah, it's over now.

Why do you have to be so negative?

Give me five.

Thank you.

Hold it!

You're right, Vice President Lewis.

I am an amateur.

When it comes to creating

so many enemies...

that we need billions of dollars

to protect ourselves, I'm an amateur.

When it comes to paying farmers

not to grow food...

while people in this country

starve every day, I'm an amateur.

When it comes to creating a drug policy

that makes crack and heroin...

cheaper than asthma and AIDS medicine,

I'm an amateur.

But there's nothing wrong

with being an amateur.

The people that started

the Underground Railroad were amateurs.

Martin Luther King was an amateur.

Have you ever been to Amateur Night

at the Apollo?

Some of the world's best talent was there:

James Brown, Luther Vandross, Rockwell,

the Crown Heights Affair.

- Hall and Oates!

- The Fat Boys, Rob Base.

But you wouldn't know

nothing about that. Why?

Because when it comes to judging

talent and potential...

you, my friend, are an amateur!

- I believe the Alderman is over his time.

- You had eight years to talk.

Now it's my turn. I'm getting mine!

Ladies and gentlemen,

hold your applause, please.

How can you help the poor

if you never been poor?

How can you stop crime

if you don't know no criminals?

How can you make drug policy

if you never smoked a chronic?

How can you do that? Just a nickel bag!

I'm a real American.

I've been high, I've been robbed,

I've been broke.

My credit is horrible!

They won't even take my cash!

You're always talking about,

"God bless America, and no place else. "

But isn't it obvious

that God has blessed America?

America is the richest,

most powerful nation on earth.

If America was a woman,

it would be a big-titty woman.

And everybody loves a big-titty woman!

So, in closing...

I'd like to say you are full of sh*t.

"God bless America, and no place else. "

How about "God bless Haiti"

or "God bless Africa"?

How about "God bless Jamaica"?

I'm not talking about Jamaica,

the beach tribes you all love.

I'm talking about stabbing Jamaica.

That's what I'm talking about.

So, tonight I want to say:

"God bless America, and everybody else!"

The whole world! God bless you!

I'm Mays Gilliam, and I'm running for

President of the United States of America.

Ya heard?

Now we can watch Martin!

- Hello?

- Good morning, Mr. President.

- What time is it?

- I think it's a little after 7:00.

- Lisa, I need some help in here!

- Will you wait a damn minute?

I was so proud of you.

You were so good last night.

Tonight, no matter what, win or lose,

I want to see you.

I don't know. I might have to work.

But if I don't see you tonight,

I will see you soon.

Just run your race, get out there,

and do what you got to do, okay?

- I'll talk to you later. Bye.

- All right.

It's Election Day, Tuesday,

November 8, 2004.

The stage is set for what will be...

one of the most dramatic campaign finales

of all time.

The question everyone's asking is:

"Who will America vote for?"

I voted for Mays Gilliam.

- I voted for big business.

- I voted for Lewis.

Who the f*** you think I'm voting for?

There seems to be an agreement...

between Washington, D.C., officials

and transit authority operators...

regarding the shutdown

of the 9th Ward bus line.

I don't see how they could do this to us.

People got to make money and get to work.

- Show them how you do it.

- The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire

You're not gonna believe this.

We got the Teamsters!

- That's great, little brother!

- They'll announce it at a press conference.

You just have to go,

shake hands, take photographs...

but it is yours.

What's the matter?

If they shut down this bus service,

I will drive you to work myself.

- I can't do it.

- But it's Election Day!

You have to get the endorsement.

You said you want to win.

You can't snub the Teamsters.

You want them to endorse Lewis?

I'm not worried about Lewis.

I'm running my race.

Go ahead, baby brother. I got this.

- You're just gonna let him go?

- He's a grown man.

They shut down the whole bus line.

What can he do about that?

In the latest exit poll, Vice President Lewis

has 51 percent of the vote.

Bring him back. He got to vote.

...while Mays Gilliam

is posting an impressive 47 percent.

You gotta get to the back of the bus.

I'm just playing. Come on.

Now, he and Vice President Lewis

are in a statistical dead heat.

Come on, hoes!

While Lewis and Mitch Gilliam

have been working the campaign trail...

Mays Gilliam has been out

driving people to work.

Damn it! Why didn't somebody around here

think of this?

Why am I not out there driving a damn bus?

Get me an SUV, a minivan, a bus,

a scooter...

a motorcycle, or a rickshaw.

Get me some wheels, b*tch!

Are you going uptown?

Come on. Wait a minute!

We could write our own vows!

I love you, Mays!

With the polls about 30 minutes

from closing on the East Coast...

Mays Gilliam is actually ahead

by several points.

There is no question that Lewis has Texas.

It seems clear

Gilliam is going to take New York.

New York!

It's likely Lewis will take Michigan.

It looks like Gilliam

might just pull an upset in Illinois.

Illinois!

Go, Mays!

This looks like

it may come down to California.

I need to know. How real is this?

Can we win without California?

We stand a chance if you call

your connections to the energy companies-

No, you can't win without California.

What are you doing here?

Shut up. You want to win,

you'll do what I tell you.

Gilliam has

over 90 percent minority turnout.

Whites are the majority,

but they're not voting. They don't like you.

- I like you, sir.

- Shut up.

How can we turn this around?

There's about one and a half hours left

at the West Coast polls.

If there's a leak saying Gilliam

is going to win, you'll get a late rush.

You get California, you get the election.

It will make the 6:30 news if we do it now.

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