Head Office Page #7

Synopsis: Upon graduation from college with a business degree, John Issel is promptly hired by Helmes's company I.N.C. At INC, the one who gets ahead, does it by kissing ass, or over someone else's dead body. John keeps getting promotions, but cant figure out why. Actually management doesn't care about him, they hope that having hired him, his father, Senator Issel, will vote the way they like.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Ken Finkleman
Production: HBO Video
 
IMDB:
5.5
Rotten Tomatoes:
0%
PG-13
Year:
1985
90 min
352 Views


to keep this town working? [glass shattering] (Max)

Jack! In business school,

we learned that the main goal of corporations is

to maximize profits and survive. So, uh, they act

in their own self-interest. He hasn't been well! Self-interest? What is the goddamned idiot

talking about? What'd that goddamn

son of a b*tch say? You're related to Senator

Jack Issel, right? No. Yes, I am.

Son of a b*tch. I'm his son. Lying goddamn bastard. You people crazy?

I'm taking names. Get out of here.

Look at what you're doing here. This is marked up.

It's a new paint job. So INC has no responsibility

to these people? Jack! INC operates purely

in a profit motive. Jack. Pure self-interest, then? Absolutely. Thank you. We should kill the bastard

that sent that moron out there. [boisterous yelling] [clattering and shattering] In the old days,

I'd have had that son of a b*tch in cement and dumped

into the river before you can say,

"Henry Ford." Unfortunately, these are

the post-Watergate '80s. Well, then shoot him. Not a wise idea, sir. I'm one of the most

powerful men in the world. And if I can't

have someone shot, then what the hell does

it mean to have power anymore? We don't want to alienate

his father at this point, sir. Fire the commie! But get him out

of my company! [synthesizer music] (man)

Deep in the night -- That limo cost $75,000. Damn it, Jack. We went out there to tell them

our side of the story. We didn't go out there

to tell them the truth. They're going to have my ass. Thanks, honey. [kissing noise] Come on. Okay! Yeah.

Yeah. See you later. Take care, man. Sorry about the car. [laughing] I love you. I know you do. I love you too. [thunder rumbling and cracking] Perfect. Perfect. Okay, you're going that way. I'm going this way. You okay? Get serious. You okay? Lesson number 59-- You're okay. Take off, Durango! See you tomorrow. So long, Maxie. [laughing]

So long, Jack. [thunder rumbling] Hmm. Am I okay? [snorts] [groans] [Jack singing] I'll never work again. Because I'm fired. And they're going

to kill me. And then I'll be dead. How little we understand what touches

that tingle -- I don't remember you

at the bar. I don't even know

your name. I never do this. Hey. I know that face. Come on; let me get you out

of these wet clothes. I'm probably just another

cheap pick-up to you-- another great-looking

piece of beefcake. [laughs] Another USDA

prime rib roast. You know, if I had

any respect for myself, I'd walk right out

that door. Wait a minute. This is my place. [grunts] [jazzy romantic music] Sorry. (Max)

Lesson number one, Jack. Beware of the furniture movers. People see them coming,

and they sh*t. We want all the wallpaper,

the carpet, and the upholstery redone. [phones ringing

and people talking] Corporations have as much power over our lives

as the government. But we can't vote them out

if we think they don't represent

the public interests. Corporations don't have to tell

us why they do what they do. That's a fact of American life. But yesterday, INC

International broke the rule. When asked why they closed

their Allenville plant, INC International

spokesman Jack Issel didn't peddle

some PR sob story. He told the truth. Corporations act

in their own self-interest. Like it or not, that's a fact

of life in the free world. And Mr. Issel had

the guts to say it. For that, this reporter

gives INC International 10 out of 10 for honesty. It's the same

on all the stations. He's like a national hero. Bring him to me. You just fired him. I'll tell you, Jack. This stuff's going

to look pretty shabby in your new office. I'll get you a decorator. I thought I was fired. Fired?

No, no. Mr. Helmes is

very impressed with the way you handled those TV people. He'd like to see you

at his house on Sunday. (Max)

I came on over,

and he's hanging here in the middle of the room. I think you found a home

for yourself here, Jack. They're cutting him

down now. Prime spot for Allenville

is San Marcos. Cheap labor, cheap

and plentiful resources. Only one hitch. Telecorp International

has President Sanchez in their pocket and don't want

any competition from us. We're locked out. Not if we get

to General Sepulveda. He's Sanchez's right-hand man,

hungry for the top spot. You're talking

about a coup, sir. A coup.

[laughs] I'm simply saying that

we replace a general sympathetic to Telecorp's needs with one

sympathetic to our needs. That is not a coup. It's just a realignment

of American interests abroad. I think we want Washington

with us if things flare up. Well, then we must meet

with Senator Issel. You know, it wouldn't hurt

to tie his boy in right from the top. (Jack)

What goes on at these prayer

breakfasts? These guys fly in on helicopters

and make speeches. We pray to the gods. Who are thgods? The gods of greed,

the gods of money, the volcano god,

the tree god. Max, do you think I'm doing

the right thing here? You know, I heard the Japanese

are working on a micro orgasm. They keep promoting me. I don't do anything! It's revolutionary. Soon you'll be able to have

group sex on a silicon chip no bigger than my fingernail. Max, you're not

taking me seriously. This place is

totally bananas. Any reasonable, normal person

would have quit a long time ago. That's what worries me. Relax, man. What are you

worried about? Helmes has got

his eye on you. You're in line

for another big promotion. Yeah, as soon

as someone drops dead or jumps, or maybe I'm supposed

to pull the trigger myself. They're really doing it

up there, Max. And for what? For money and power, Jack. It's the American way. Lesson number 79:

when the tough get going, the weak get screwed. I can't play it like that. It's the only way

to play it, Jack. What about you? You're not like

the rest of them. How do you survive it? I just go with the flow. I flipped out years ago. I only look sane. The secret is,

you got to be crazy to maintain your sanity

up here. But you're sane, Jack. And that's exactly why

you're going crazy. [yelling in German] Helmes invited me

to his house. The house. Tremendous. Max, I feel like

I'm being pushed around in some insane game. Stop complaining. You keep getting pushed up when everybody else

gets pushed down. [yelling in German] Max, this man

is talking in German. I never listen

to these guys anyway. [yelling in German] [applause] I hope you'll come back

for visits. It'll be deathly quiet

around here without you. Sh*t, Albert, I can't come back

to this life anymore. I'll miss that. Miss what? "Sh*t, Albert." You're the only one

in the family who ever talked to me

like that. Yeah, I'll miss you too,

but I got to get out of here. My father,

he thinks I'm insane. You know, he would love to have

me put away in some asylum just because I don't think

like he does. Do you know that

he virtually refuses to admit I even exist anymore? [doorbell rings] Going to get

my junk together. (Helmes)

Rate this script:4.0 / 1 vote

Ken Finkleman

Ken Finkleman is a Canadian television and film writer, producer and actor. Finkleman was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Head Office" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/head_office_9737>.

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