Heartbeat Page #6

these ties of yours...

your records, your life.

No, not from Charles.

It's Faulkner.

As for the money, I sold

my diamond necklace for it.

You're wearing it right now.

But this is a phony--

just a copy.

You'll see. It'll shatter.

It didn't break.

It's still phony.

I couldn't bear that job.

-After one month?

-Yes, after one month.

I traded the diamond necklace

with the jeweler...

for a false one.

But what have you been doing

all day long?

-Nothing.

-Nothing at all?

Nothing at all.

I played records. I read a lot.

I took long walks

and dreamed of being with you.

I was happy.

No, Lucille.

You don't think I believe that.

You must believe it, Antoine...

because there's

nothing more to say.

I even told you

I'm not made for work.

It was making me sick.

It was making me ugly.

I was miserable.

Can you really blame me

for that?

all right, but why didn't you

try to explain it?

But you were happy.

I was happy when you were.

Look, I live with you,

I sleep with you, talk to you...

and I don't know

what's going on.

-You're driving me crazy.

-Yes, but since I love you--

You love me.

Loved by who, by what?

Am I loved by a woman,

a flower?

You're there. You may as well

be anywhere else.

I want to be right here.

What in God's name

do you want to do in life?

To love you, love you, love you,

love you, love you!

Damn it.

Oh, God.

I think you can see

the apartment from here.

Yes. There.

You see the red curtains?

It's right below that

on the seventh floor.

No. I'm sure it's

in that building over there...

on the seventh floor...

between the two little windows.

and the big one.

That's where your two rooms are.

You heard the traffic noise

when we saw it.

It never stops. It's terrible.

I don't understand

how people can do it...

with two or three children.

And no more money

than we have, either.

Don't ask me to.

I'm very sorry,

but we'd better take it.

With the baby we'll need

more than one room.

Lucille,

l'd like to know one thing.

Do you want to have

that baby or not, huh?

Do you want him or not?

Maybe later on, but not now.

Can't you just see

a child of yours, of mine?

He'll follow us around.

He'll look at his mother.

We'll laugh together.

Don't think

I haven't dreamed of it.

But we can't have a baby

growing up here.

I just couldn't.

It's impossible. Look at it.

It's too big.

Hello, Miss Lucille.

Hello, Jean.

How have you been?

Just fine.

Is your wife any better?

Oh, her asthma, you know.

We used to use these

when I was young.

Only they tarnish so easily.

There's a terrific

new polish out.

You simply put it in to soak,

and it's finished.

You've lost some weight,

haven't you?

No, I wouldn't say that.

Are you still having difficuIty

with the gardener?

I bet you haven't heard

the latest.

I told him to repaint

the garden furniture in white.

You're already here.

I hope I haven't

kept you waiting.

So pretty.

I'll always remember

the fragrance.

Would you like a whiskey?

Oh, no, thank you.

What's wrong with your voice?

I've been working too hard

and talking too much.

Now, what are those worries...

that you refuse to speak about

on the phone?

Charles,

I'm going to have a child...

but I don't want a baby.

I'm not ready now.

I need money.

I saw one of those doctors here,

but I got frightened.

I've never understood why...

you always seemed to enjoy

sitting there.

Perhaps you really should

have a child.

Perhaps not.

You sure

you don't want to keep it?

-No, I don't.

-Life is all backwards.

I just wish I could be

the father of your child.

I would've provided you with

two nurses if you'd wanted them.

But you wouldn't even want to

have a child of mine, would you?

No.

You don't want anything

of your own--

no house, no husband,

no children.

Nothing. It's very strange.

I've often wondered

if you have any parents.

Oh, by the way,

thank you for helping my mother.

I know you kept on

sending her money.

I'm fond of your mother.

I forbid you to let him

pay for that, do you hear me?

I forbid you to let him

pay for that.

Antoine...

all right, so I'm

in no position to moralize...

but there's a limit.

You borrowed the money you need

from your old lover...

for murdering the child

of the one you live with. No!

I suppose it's more moral

for me to get cut up...

by the butcher

you're able to afford.

He'd let me die

on the street...

and that's exactly

what would happen.

Please keep your voice down,

damn it.

You have a strange

sense of pride, Antoine.

Well, Lucille,

can't we please keep it?

We'll make out all right.

I'm sure they'll give me

another raise.

We could put it in a nursery

during the day.

It'd be arranged.

It's not as if

the world's come to an end.

Maybe not for you,

but it's the end of my world.

I mean that.

You can be quite a coward.

What an egotist.

When you're 60 years old

with no one around you...

you won't get by

on your charm anymore.

No one will care

if you live or die.

I'll have myself

to thank for it. ls that it?

That's about it.

You don't think you're being

cowardly, hypocritical?

It doesn't matter

what I have to go through.

all that bothers you

is that Charles is paying.

I want you

to give me that check.

No.

Then you'll tear it up.

No.

It's not in there.

I don't want to. Please.

I'm not able to.

Listen to me--take your time

to think it over carefully.

But I told you I don't want it.

Lucille...

I'm not able to.

It's wrong for us...

for me, for you, for the child.

It wouldn't be right.

I'm simply not able to.

If only we lived by the sea.

You could have been a fisherman.

And I would cook

the fish you caught.

We would live like--

It isn't us you mean.

You mean yourself, Lucille.

When I talk about me...

I'm talking about the woman

you love, just as she is!

I'm going to get the tickets

this morning for Geneva.

Are you afraid?

Just very tired.

Very tired. Very...

We've been talking about it

and nothing else.

I wish you understood me.

I don't feel very well.

You need more rest.

I don't want you walking

for miles...

in the Luxembourg Gardens.

Don't worry about it.

will you promise me?

all right. I promise.

See you tonight.

Excuse me.

Johnny!

What are you doing here?

Just admiring

a romantic encounter...

without daring to interrupt it.

You realize you're sitting

at the table of Lenin.

tell me, how are you?

How's everyone

in our little group?

They're fine. I'm fine.

We all are.

And you--are you happy?

Very happy.

You sure?

They say happiness

rarely ever shows.

You're the same as ever.

You used to dress

more fashionably.

I had more means then.

It's a pity.

I would have thought

you might ask about Charles.

You know that he's been ill.

What's wrong with him?

He's thinner, much thinner.

Not as strong as he used to be.

He doesn't

seem to enjoy anything.

Even if

you don't feel like it...

you really

ought to telephone him.

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