Heathers Page #11

FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JAKET

I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked

down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing

disinfectant then she smashed....

PAULINE:

Now, now, we're not here to rehash

the coroner's report. Let's talk emotions.

ALL-OUT NERD

Are we going to be tested on this?

A stunned PAULINE glares until preppie PETER DAWSON speaks.

The note continues to be breathlessly passed around.

PETER:

Heather and I used to go together,

but she said I was boring. I realize

now I wasn't really boring. She was

just dissatisfied with her life.

PAULINE:

That's very good Peter.

VERONICA lets out a laugh that she disguises as a sob by

putting her hands over her face.

PAULINE:

Dear Veronica, Heather was your

soulmate.....Share.

VERONICA:

Heather was cool, but cruel. The good

looks and bad manners gave her power,

but it could not give her happiness.

The class stares to VERONICA as the suicide note is passed to

her. She acknowledges it in horror, passes it on, then

continues, realizing her ability to create truths for a

captive audience.

VERONICA:

She realized the only way she could

be happy was to give up her power and

the only way she could do that was Death.

PAULINE cries. The PUPILS applaud. VERONICA queasily smiles.

INT. THE GIRLS LOCKER ROOM--DAY

The GIRLS are finishing up putting on their clothes.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

Oh God, it's so unfair. It's just so

unfair! We should get a whole week

off not just an hour.

HEATHER DUKE:

Write the School Board.

HEATHER DUKE gnaws on a chicken leg as she speaks.

VERONICA:

Watch it, Heather. You could actually

be digesting food.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

Yeah, where's your urge to purge?

HEATHER DUKE:

(belching)

F*** it.

HEATHER MCNAMARA pulls a Swatch from one of the lockers.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

Look, heather left behind one of her

Swatches. She'd want you to have it,

Veronica. She always said you couldn't

accessorize for sh*t.

HEATHER MCNAMARA tosses the watch to a spooked VERONICA who

stands up and solemnly puts it on. The FEMALE STONER IN ARMY

JACKET stops next to their bench.

FEMALE STONER IN ARMY JACKET

I'm sorry about your friend. I thought

she was your usual airhead b*tch.

Guess I was wrong. Lot of us were.

HEATHER DUKE bobs up from the world's largest sno-cone.

HEATHER DUKE:

What a waste.

VERONICA zombiesquely moves into the shower area.

HEATHER DUKE (V.O.)

Oh the Humanity.

INT. THE SHOWER--DAY

VERONICA turns on a shower and lets the water spray against

her clothes.

INT. THE LOCKER ROOM--DAY

HEATHER MCNAMARA

Veronica, what are you doing?

SQUEALING GIRL (O.S.)

Everyone in the shower!

TWO GIGGLING GIRLS run into the shower fully clothed. THREE

OTHERS follow suit. The HEATHERS look to each other, laugh,

and run in.

INT. THE GIRLS' COACH'S LOCKER ROOM OFFICE--DAY

Heavy Metalers MATT, CLYDE, and STEVE plus Geek RODNEY sneak

into a darkened room. Girls' laughter drifts in.

MATT:

Do I deliver or do I deliver?

RODNEY:

Hurry up, we're going to get caught.

MATT:

Mellow out Geek. Man, I never

should have brought you.

CLYDE:

Let's see some p*ssy!

MATT pulls a curtain revealing a semi-overhead view of the

showering and clothed GIRLS.

INT. THE SHOWER--DAY

The GIRLS splash and spin in balletlike slow motion. VERONICA

stands facing the viewer, the Swatch noticeably attached.

INT. THE GIRLS' COACH'S LOCKER ROOM OFFICE--DAY

Cautiously quiet pandemonium.

MATT:

Does this have something to do with

menstrual cramps and sh*t?

CLYDE:

(dazed)

What the f***?

RODNEY:

We're on Candid Camera, dudes. I

can feel it.

CLYDE:

What the f***?

EXT. OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL--DAY

Pulling their coats over their wet clothes, VERONICA and the

HEATHERS come out of the school.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

That was seriously warped, Veronica.

VERONICA:

Uh-huh.

HEATHER DUKE:

T.V. cameras!

In the distance, a T.V. CAMERA CREW is interviewing STUDENTS.

HEATHER DUKE dashes toward them. HEATHER MCNAMARA freezes.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

Oh God, Veronica. My hair! My clothes!

HEATHER MCNAMARA moans, vibrates, then suddenly races toward

the cameras. VERONICA looks down at the soaked, stopped Swatch

on her arm. She takes it off and drops it in a neaby trashcan.

INT. THE DEAN LIVING ROOM--LATE AFTERNOON

A massive T.V. set shows the image of HEATHER DUKE posed by a

tree, talking into a microphone.

HEATHER DUKE (T.V.)

I choose to remember the good times.

Like when we got our ears pierced

at the mall.

The image of HEATHER MCNAMARA sitting in the grass talking

into a microphone supersedes HEATHER DUKE's.

HEATHER MCNAMARA (T.V.)

I can still hear those late night

talks on the phone.

The image of PETER DAWSON sitting on a rock comes on next.

PETER (T.V.)

The day I won her that stuffed rhino

at the 4-H Fair, she said to me....

VERONICA (O.S.)

You're an a**hole! Mute him!

VERONICA and J.D. are seen to be crashed on a couch. J.D.

pushes a button on the remote control, cutting the sound.

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