Heathers Page #2

RAM makes a frantic spinning motion.

CAFETERIA ENTRANCE

In slow motion, VERONICA finishes the note and rises up along

with her makeshift desk, HEATHER DUKE.

HEATHER MCNAMARA hawkishly gazes toward the cafeteria line.

VERONICA hands the note to an impressed HEATHER CHANDLER.

MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK pays the CASHIER and then, grasping

her lunch tray with both hands, moves toward VERONICA and the

HEATHERS.

HEATHER MCNAMARA excitedly tugs on HEATHER CHANDLER'S arm as

MARTHA approaches. With a tranquil smile, HEATHER CHANDLER

passes the note to her frantic disciple.

In a self-consciously clandestine manner, HEATHER MCNAMARA

saunters past MARTHA then wields around to sneakily tuck the

note onto MARTHA's tray.

The slow motion concludes as their plump victim shuffles

past a magnetic preppie PETER DAWSON and a thin, black,

bespectacled DENNIS. The guys are working a large stand which

has a cashbox reading THE FOODLESS FUND and a banner reading

WESTERBURG FEEDS THE WORLD.

PETER:

Come on people, let's give that

leftover lunch money to people

without lunches! Those tater tots

you threw away today are a delicacy

in Africa! They're Thanksgiving dinner!

HEATHERS' TABLE

The Girls reach their table with HEATHER MCNAMARA and HEATHER

DUKE sitting themselves down first.

HEATHER MCNAMARA

(looking to the stand)

God, aren't they fed yet? Do they

even have Thanksgiving in Africa?

VERONICA:

(low key sarcasm)

Oh sure, Pilgrims, Indians, tater

tots; it's a real party continent.

HEATHER CHANDLER draws up a clipboard.

HEATHER CHANDLER

Sawyer. Guess what today is?

VERONICA:

Ouch....the lunchtime poll. So

what's the question?

HEATHER DUKE:

Yeah, so what's the question?

HEATHER CHANDLER

God-damn Heather, you were with me

in Study Hall when I thought of it.

Such a pillowcase.

HEATHER DUKE:

(hurt)

I forgot.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER briskly bop away from the table

as a wounded HEATHER DUKE retreats to The Catcher in the Rye.

VERONICA:

Hey, this question wouldn't be that

bizarro thing you were babbling

about over the phone last......

HEATHER CHANDLER

Shut up, it is. I told Dennis if he

gave me another topic that was

political, I'd spew burrito chunks.

VERONICA shakes her head and looks off. She's suddenly

captured by the sight of a JAMES DEANESQUE GUY sitting stark

in a long, tan gunslinger coat, behind a Rebel Without a Cause

lunchbox. They make eye contact.

Transfixed, VERONICA crashes into seated BETTY FINN, a

slightly overweight, unstylishly dressed sweetie surrounded by

clones.

BETTY:

Sorry Veronica.

VERONICA:

Betty Finn. Gosh.....

VERONICA crouches down, embarrassed and rueful.

VERONICA:

I'm really sorry I couldn't make it

to your birthday party last month.

BETTY:

That's okay. Your Mom said you had

a big date. Heck, I'd probably skip

my own birthday party for a date.

VERONICA gently laughs at BETTY's innocent awe.

VERONICA:

Don't say that.

BETTY:

Oh Ronnie, you have to look at

what I dug up the other day.

BETTY pulls from her purse a picture showing a YOUNG BETTY

FINN AND VERONICA SAWYER, arm-in-arm, dressed in Halloween

costumes:
BETTY is an angel, VERONICA is a witch.

VERONICA glows at the photo until HEATHER CHANDLER tows

VERONICA away causing the picture to fall face up on the

floor.

ANOTHER ANGLE:

VERONICA:

I was talking with someone!

HEATHER CHANDLER

Color me impressed. I thought you

grew out of Betty Finn.

THE COUNTRY CLUB KIDS' TABLE

A coolly coed cabal of Country Club Kids icily eye the

approaching VERONICA and HEATHER CHANDLER. Country Club

kid COUTRNEY sourly speaks out.

COURTNEY:

Oh great. Here comes Heather.

KEITH:

Sh*t.

MARTHA DUNNSTOCK/DUMPTRUCK'S TABLE

Alone at a table in the Siberia of the cafeteria, MARTHA

finishes a forkful of chicken. She spears her plate again and

brings the fork up. The note is wedged inside it.

THE COUNTRY CLUB KIDS' TABLE

HEATHER CHANDLER, Veronica in tow, hits the Country Club Kids

with a salvo of false pleasantness, capped by a scowling

smile.

HEATHER CHANDLER

Hi Courtney. Love your blouse. Ooh,

let me snare a tater.

COURTNEY expresses elation in spite of herself as HEATHER

CHANDLER delicately takes a tot and turns around to face

VERONICA. HEATHER CHANDLER inserts her finger in her mouth

doing the "induce-vomiting" signal before devouring the tot

and turning back around.

COURTNEY:

Thanks. I just got it last night at

the Limited. Totally blew my allowance.

HEATHER CHANDLER raises her clipboard. VERONICA closes her

eyes and shakes her head with a half-smile.

HEATHER CHANDLER

That's pretty very. Now check this out. You

win five million dollars from Publishers

Sweepstakes, but on the same day what's-

his-face gives you the check, aliens

land on earth and say they're going

to blow up the world in two days.

What would you do?

A stunned tableau; until Country Club Kid KEITH speaks.

KEITH:

That's easy. I'd just slide that wad

over to my father. He's like one of

the top brokers in the state.

VERONICA:

Wake up. In two days, Earth's going

up like a Roman Candle. Crab Nebula City.

KEITH:

Man, in two days, my dad could

double my money. Triple it.

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