Heavenly Match Page #4

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APPARENTLY,

SANCTUARIES ARE PASSE.

WHO KNEW?

OH. WELL.

HEY, LISTEN,

DO YOU WANT TO HEAD OVER

TO LAKE TURNBELL

FOR A WALK THIS EVENING?

I FIGURED:

YOU'D BE DOING SOMETHING

WITH THAT GUY:

FROM THE OTHER NIGHT.

YOU TWO LOOKED PRETTY TIGHT.

OH, WE DID?

YEAH.

I FIGURED THAT YOU'D BE BUSY

SO I MADE OTHER PLANS.

OH! OH...

WELL, THAT'S NO BIGGIE.

YEAH, WE COULD WALK

LAKE TURNBELL ANOTHER TIME.

YEAH, OKAY.

WELL, LOOK, CASE,

I SHOULD GET GOING.

I HAVE TO PICK UP MY DATE

IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

GREAT. OKAY.

HAVE A GOOD TIME,

AND HEY, LISTEN,

DON'T WEAR ANY BAND T-SHIRTS.

WEAR, LIKE, A NORMAL SHIR WITH A COLLAR.

WELL, I DON'T GO ANYWHERE

WITHOUT A COLLAR,

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

BYE.

WELL, THAT WAS AN EPIC FAILURE.

[CASEY]:
I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD

TO MY WEEKLY VISITS

WITH MY DEAR FRIEND, SARAH.

SHE'S A MINISTER, TOO,

AND I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON HER

FOR SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE.

[]

GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU

UP AND AT 'EM AGAIN.

WHO'S WINNING?

OH! I'M SURE YOU ARE.

HELLO, SIR.

HOW'S YOUR ARTHRITIS?

MUCH BETTER, HUH?

GOOD TO HEAR.

MISS VIOLET. HI!

HOW'S YOUR HIP HEALING?

OH, I'M ON THE MEND,

PASTOR HART.

OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.

ALL RIGHT,

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

YOU TAKING CARE:

OF OUR HANDSOME MAN?

-MM-HMM.

-YEAH? GOOD.

SARAH, IT'S ME.

OH, MY DARLING CASEY,

WHAT A TREAT.

HI, SARAH.

WHAT'S TROUBLING

YOU, MY DEAR?

PULL UP A CHAIR.

TELL ME:

WHAT'S GOING ON.

I'M LEAVING THE MINISTRY.

I'M GOING TO

GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

MY DAD'LL BE HAPPY.

HE WON'T HAVE TO

SEND ME MONEY ANYMORE

TO HELP PAY FOR MY REN EVERY MONTH,

AND I WON'T HAVE

THOSE PESKY PARISHIONERS

MAKING MY LIFE:

A LIVING NIGHTMARE.

HAS GOD CALLED YOU THERE?

OR ARE YOU:

LIKE JONAH,

RUNNING AWAY:

BECAUSE THINGS AREN'T GOING

ACCORDING TO YOUR PLANS?

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT GOD WANTS ANYMORE.

I THOUGHT I HEARD

THE BIG GUY SAY "MINISTRY,"

BUT NOW I'M THINKING

IT MIGHT'VE BEEN "MISERY."

IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYWAYS.

I'M NOT CUT OUT FOR THE CHURCH.

THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH

ISN'T DOUBT,

IT'S FEAR.

THAT IS FEAR TALKING.

FEAR'S BEEN DOING

A LOT OF TALKING LATELY.

[CHUCKLES] OH.

GOD WORKS:

IN THE DIVINE'S OWN SWEET TIME.

HOW LONG WOULD YOU BE WILLING

TO WAIT FOR GOD TO LEAD YOU

TO THAT RIGHT PLACE?

WHAT'S YOUR LIMIT?

I THINK:

I'VE REACHED MY LIMIT.

I MEAN, IT TOOK JACOB 14 YEARS

TO FIND A WIFE,

AND THE ISRAELITES,

THEY ROAMED THE WILDERNESS

FOR 40 YEARS.

I MEAN,

DOESN'T GOD KNOW THAT THE WORLD

WORKS AT A MUCH FASTER PACE

THESE DAYS?

IF YOU'VE COME

FOR MY BLESSING,

I CAN'T GIVE YOU ONE.

YOU MADE:

A COMMITMENT TO GOD.

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

THAT CAN UNMAKE THAT PROMISE.

CHURCH HAS ALWAYS

BEEN MY REFUGE, YOU KNOW?

I FOUND...

AFFIRMATION AND...

OPPORTUNITY...

AND COMFORT.

IT ALWAYS SEEMED

LIKE THE RIGHT THING.

YOU KNOW, I'VE ALWAYS DONE WHA I THOUGHT WAS THE RIGHT THING,

BUT LOOK AT WHERE

IT'S GOTTEN ME.

I THOUGHT YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T WANT...

YOU DON'T WANT WHAT?

IT'S JUST HARD,

BEING SO CLOSE TO WHAT YOU WAN AND KNOWING

YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT.

HAVE FAITH IN GOD.

TRUST YOURSELF.

AND GOD.

AND DRINK SOME TEA.

[ANNOUNCEMENT CRACKLING

AS PHONE BEEPS]

[DAVID]:
HE'LL HELP YOU

THROUGH THIS TOUGH TIME,

AND I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED

SOMEONE IN YOUR PARISH

ON YOUR SIDE,

AND NOW YOU'LL HAVE A FRIEND,

AND YOU WON'T BE LONELY.

YEAH, I MEAN,

HOW CAN I BE LONELY

WITH LITTLE SIMON PETER AROUND

TO KEEP ME COMPANY?

HOT DATE TONIGHT?

NOT UNLESS:

YOU COUNT SIMON PETER.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I AM GOING TO THE MOVIES,

BUT ABSOLUTELY:

NO ICE CREAM AFTERWARD.

THAT'S YOUR TERRITORY.

I'LL HOLD YOU TO THAT.

YOU'D BETTER.

OKAY.

I'M GOING TO GO

PAY FOR THIS STUFF.

OKAY. THANK YOU.

[]

HI, ANGELIQUE.

OH! UH, ED CALLED.

HE HAS SOME:

SUGGESTIONS FOR YOU.

OKAY.

DAVID CALLED FOR YOU

FROM A PET STORE.

DID THAT.

MRS. TOMPKINS WANTS YOU

TO MAKE A GROCERY RUN

FOR SALAD DRESSINGS

BEFORE THE NEX LADIES'

AUXILIARY MEETING.

I DIDN'T REALIZE

I WAS HER PERSONAL SHOPPER

AS WELL AS HER MINISTER. NEXT?

HE BOUGHT YOU A FISH?

OH. YEAH.

ISN'T THAT, LIKE,

THE SWEETEST THING?

THAT'S A BETTA FISH.

SO?

YOU CAN'T PUT A BETTA FISH

IN THE TANK WITH OTHER FISH

BECAUSE IT'LL ATTACK

AND KILL THEM.

HE GOT ME AN AGGRESSIVE,

ANTISOCIAL FISH?

OH, THEY BITE, TOO.

YEAH.

YEAH.

RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED.

FIRST...

OH, THE COLLECTION MONEY

IS STILL WORRISOMELY LOW.

I HEARD A RUMOR:

THAT SOMEONE'S

BEEN SKIMMING CASH

OUT OF THE PLATES.

I FEEL SECURE, OLIVIA,

THAT THE CASH BOX

IN THE SACRISTY IS SECURE.

WE'VE BEEN USING THAT SYSTEM

FOR YEARS,

AND WE'VE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEM.

ONLY THE CHURCH:

TREASURER:

AND THE MONEYCOUNTERS

HAVE A KEY, SO...

THAT'S YOU

AND THEM, OLIVIA.

WELL, THEN THERE'S ONLY

ONE OTHER EXPLANATION.

THE OFFERING IS DOWN

BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T WAN A WOMAN IN THE PULPIT.

YOU SHOULD RESIGN NOW

BEFORE YOU DESTROY THIS CHURCH.

[ED]:

IS IT TOO MUCH FOR YOU, CASEY?

WE WERE...

WE WERE THINKING

IT MIGHT BE.

[]

IF THE OFFERINGS ARE DOWN,

I'M SURE IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH

THE CHANGE IN THE GIVING CYCLE

THAN WITH A REVOL FROM THE PARISHIONERS.

[OLIVIA]:
WE ARE

IN DIFFICULT ENOUGH

FINANCIAL STRAITS.

WE CAN'T JEOPARDIZE

THE FINANCIAL HEALTH

OF THE CHURCH.

OOH, HOW DID IT GO?

YOU DON' WANT TO KNOW.

THAT GOOD, HUH?

-YEAH.

-OKAY.

[SIGHS WEARILY]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

REVEREND HART.

HEY, IT'S ME.

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR

DINNER AND I'LL COOK SOMETHING?

UM, YEAH, YOU'RE FABULOUS,

BUT YOUR IDEA:

OF A HOMECOOKED MEAL

IS HAMBURGER HELPER

AND A CAN OF GREEN BEANS.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

HOW ABOUT I COOK?

EXCELLENT. IT'S BEEN A WHILE

SINCE I'VE HAD STEAK A LA CASEY.

PFFT. OKAY, MOOCH.

SEE YOU AT 7:
00?

I'LL BRING DESSERT.

BRING CHOCOLATE?

YES, MA'AM.

AND I'VE GO A SURPRISE FOR YOU, TOO.

OH, NO, NO, NO. I CAN'T HANDLE

ANOTHER SURPRISE THIS WEEK.

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE.

YOU'LL SEE.

OKAY.

HEY, CASE.

SURPRISE!

"SURPRISE"?

YEAH! REMEMBER?

I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE

THAT I HAD A SURPRISE?

OH! DID YOU SAY THAT?

I'M CASEY.

[SQUEALS]:
OH!

CASEY! OMIGOD!

IT'S SO GREA TO FINALLY MEET YOU!

DAVID HAS TOLD ME

SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!

HAS HE?

OH, THAT'S FUNNY.

SOMETIMES, HE FORGETS TO MENTION

THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

DON'T WORRY.

I'M GONNA FIX THAT.

CASEY, THIS IS CALI.

IT'S SHOR FOR "CALIFORNIA."

THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM.

CLEVER.

[GIGGLES]

DO I SMELL:

SOMETHING BURNING?

THE STEAKS!

OH!

OH... WOW.

CAN I GIVE YOU:

A HAND WITH THAT?

NO. NO, IT'S JUS A MINOR MEAT EMERGENCY.

ARE YOU SURE?

-BECAUSE IT--

-I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL.

THANK YOU.

JUST NOT SURE:

IF THERE'S ENOUGH TO EAT NOW.

I'M A VEGETARIAN.

OH.

AND I'M ACTUALLY

ON A NEW LOW-CARB DIET.

WELL, THA SOLVES THAT.

DO YOU HAVE:

A BATHROOM?

IN THE HALL.

-OKAY.

-UH-HUH.

SO I GUESS THIS:

WASN'T THE BEST WAY

TO SPRING THIS ON YOU?

[LAUGHS]

I JUST,

WHEN YOU SAID "SURPRISE,"

I THOUGHT SOMETHING MORE LIKE

A NEW SUBSCRIPTION

TO A PREACHER'S MAGAZINE.

I BLEW IT, DIDN'T I?

NO.

I'M JUST AFRAID

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH FOOD.

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