Heavy Metal 2000 Page #2

Unless, of course,

you'd prefer the Fellation Blowfish.

Sick, twisted, low-life, scum sucking pig!

At least I'll have someone to talk to.

What?

That's him. The tall one.

- Let's go.

- I'll wait here.

But he'll see me.

You don't know what he's like.

Chicken sh*t.

God, this is fun!

Nobody touches these...

...but me!

Bar towel!

Hello? Captain Tyler,

Metal Mammoth Mining.

We need some drinks!

We should make it fast.

We don't want to miss the jump.

Screw the jump!

I've got all the time in the world!

Besides, something just came up.

You just found the man of your dreams.

When you kill someone, darling,

make sure he's dead.

What the hell?

Looks like happy hour is over.

- Who's gonna pay for all of this?

- This ought to take care of it.

Here. Keep the change.

What? Holy sh*t!

Grenades!

Julie?

Are you all right?

He died! And then he was alive again!

Now you know.

I don't know dick! How does he do it?

He's got this weird potion!

And a key leading him

to the Chamber of Immortality.

Why didn't you tell me that before?

"Sit down. Get outta my face!

Shut the f*** up!"

So if I take away his potion,

he'll stay dead, right?

If you can get close enough.

That's him, isn't it?

Son of a b*tch, he's getting away!

What more could the universe want

in a tyrant?

Perfect body, perfect mind.

- Irresistible charm.

- Perfect psycho!

Psycho? Time to come out and play.

Don't even think about it!

The hyperspace jump.

There's always something.

I'll make it up to you later, sweetheart.

Let me out of here, you bastard!

Cortez to Jump Control.

Set lock-in for Uroboris.

No pre-set lock-in. Set co-ordinates.

Quadrant 9, sector 4013,

in the Terackian system.

Scanning location.

Warning. No return jump port.

please confirm lock-in.

Confirmed.

It'll take us forever to get back!

That won't be a problem,

once we get there.

We'll never make it!

This thing's a death trap!

- It's gotten us this far.

- This far is nowhere.

Spacehawk in hyperspace equals death!

Stow the bag.

- Are you nuts?

- I'm not going to lose him now.

You can't just piggyback their jump!

A tractor beam! Are you insane?

We're going to rip to-

- What the hell is that?

- We've got company.

Excuse me, "company"?

What do you mean "company"?

See that blip? It's like

somebody hitched onto our jump.

That could change our trajectory.

I want them dead! Now! Take 'em down!

But I've never heard of anyone

firing on a ship in hyperspace.

Do you have a better idea? Do it! Now!

Man, that's suicide.

- We lost them all. They're toast.

- Send the bomber.

One more word, and I'll send you.

We're hit! I knew it!

This is all your fault!

Do something!

The tunnel's breaking up!

We're not going to make it!

Yes! Do it!

I sense the key is here.

For the moment, it is best

if Zeek and I assess the threat alone.

My ampoules.

I'm afraid it's down to you.

No. Please.

Lambert, damage report.

I want a damage report!

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Yeah? Like I give a sh*t!

What's the status

on the double D-40s and munitions?

We found a wheel.

Personnel?

Seventy-eight percent dead or missing.

Life-scan?

There's a town, looks like

it's about 10 or 12 miles north of here.

Flight status?

You've got to be kidding.

Gather the weapons,

what's left of my men...

...shoot the injured. We're moving on.

Was it good for you?

I'll start you off like this.

The next step, in three or four days,

depending on your production...

...will be the body tank.

You're sick!

I'm a sick genius.

I can't breathe.

Get off my face!

What are you?

I'm Zeek, what are you?

You're so soft.

I'm harder than you think, stone man.

Please, you must not touch

my master Odin's property.

He's left me with the responsibility

to guard it.

Relax, your thing is safe with me.

Where is your master?

I am Odin.

Please excuse my little friend,

he takes his duties very seriously.

- What are you called?

- FAKK Julie.

Julie, soft. Very soft.

You're not from our world, are you?

Hardly. What is this place?

Uroboris. Some call it home.

Others call it hell.

My master says you come from the sky.

Do you have it? Do you have the key?

I don't know anything about a key.

I crashed here trying to kill a madman,

who won't die.

I did see two fireballs.

The other was headed in the direction

of a city called Shantaar.

It's not far from here. We'll take you there.

So please, come with us.

Tell me more about this madman.

Bastard named Tyler,

killed everyone I ever cared about.

Our legends say that

whoever carries the key, becomes insane.

That's him all right.

I'm sorry. I sense your sadness.

It's hard to be the last of your people.

Not much of an army. But it's a start.

Look. The ugliest one seems

to be sitting in my chair.

Hey, you, ugly!

Your mother is a Hectarian

whore's handbag!

Molten lava? We have to cross this?

Yes, Shantaar lies on the other side.

- I hate this place.

- How are we going to cross?

I am Chartog, guardian of the Red River.

I know the way across...

...and I will tell you.

You just have to...

...kiss me.

No way.

What's the matter, my precious?

Don't you find me attractive?

If this is what it takes to kill Tyler...

That's a good girl. Help your friends.

It will be over soon.

Who will I have to kiss to get back?

What are you doing?

We're waiting for you.

Son of a b*tch! Kiss this!

Your people have strange customs.

Tell me about it.

Mortality sucks, immortality sucks.

Everything sucks.

Oh, sh*t.

This really sucks.

Is he the one you search for?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah! Come on, Tyler!

I'm your new leader! Me!

Now we're up the creek.

When you kill someone...

...make sure they're dead!

Yo, baby.

I am Tyler! Your new lord!

Blind adulation makes me so horny.

Bring me a wench!

Master, he's the one with the key, isn't he?

He's far too powerful for us

to deal with alone.

Leave that to me.

Julie, you are too impulsive.

Please, think about this.

- Think about what?

- The key.

- You don't understand.

- You worry about the key.

Tyler's mine.

She is letting her thirst

for revenge rule her mind.

A little retro, but hey...

Where'd they find you?

I hear you're very special.

I've come a long way to meet you.

- You're not a robot, are you?

- Why don't you find out for yourself?

I could say I've died

and gone to heaven, but...

...that wouldn't be true.

Which part, the dying or the heaven?

You.

I know I'm irresistible,

but what do you want?

I want you...

...and what you have.

There's a price to pay for immortality...

...and the universe is going

to pick up the tab.

How original.

Every king must have a queen.

Do you want me?

Take a wild guess.

Forever?

Shut up.

Not this time!

B*tch!

Time to die!

Die!

What are you doing?

- Stop!

- I can't! The master told me!

You stupid rock!

What does it take to get laid around here?

I had him! Ten more seconds,

and he was dead!

We thought you were in trouble.

Julie, it's too late.

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