Hedwig and the Angry Inch Page #4

of the nearby army fort,

and his other son was...

the artist formerly known

as my buttboy.

We're talking about

Tommy Speck at this time.

Tommy Speck

was a 17-year-old

classic rock-loving,

"Dungeons and Dragons"

obsessed,

Jesus freak

with a fish on his truck.

f

I found him

incredibly...

hot.

I had recently

returned

to my first love

of music.

I had tried singing once,

back in Berlin.

They threw tomatoes

after the show...

I had a nice salad.

But newly motivated,

I got myself

a cheap electric piano

and I found a couple

of Korean sergeants' wives who churned out

a mean rhythm section.

Denial!

Thank you,

ladies and gentlemen,

thank you...

both of you.

That song was

by Mr Kurt Cobain,

now that kid's

got a future, huh?

How about Kwahng Yi on guitar,

ladies and gentlemen!

Give it up!

Kwahng Yi!

Give it up, Kwahng.

You know, I'd like

to take it down a little.

What do you say,

girls?

This is actually the first song

I've ever written.

And, it's written

for a guy to sing.

I know a lot of you guys

out there tonight,

a lot better

than some of you

would care to admit.

And I know

that a few of you

kick some

karaoke ass.

So...

if you're looking

for your big, breakout single,

you might wanna put a bid

on this one tonight,

Iadies and gentlemen,

because we are talking to Phil Collins'

people, right?

But then again,

aren't we all?

You know the sun

is in your eyes

And hurricanes

and rain

And black

and cloudy skies

You're running

up and down that hill

You turn it on

and off at will

There's nothing here

To thrill or bring you down

And if you've got

no other choice

You know you can

follow my voice

Through the dark turns

and noise

Of this wicked

little town

The fates

are vicious

And they're cruel

You learned too late,

you've used

Two wishes

like a fool

f

And then you're someone

you are not

And Junction City

ain't the spot

Remember Mrs Lot

when she turned around

s

And if you've got

no other choice

You know you can

follow my voice

Through the dark turns

and noise

Of this wicked

little town.

Your show...

that song...

My dad gave me

this guitar to apologise

for being such a pathetic little dictator.

- He sang me songs--

- Classics.

f

The bands

were new to me--

Boston, Kansas,

America, Europe, Asia.

Travel

exhausts me.

Where are you from,

Hedwig?

I told him my story.

I'm from

East Berlin.

d

Have you...

have you accepted

Jesus Christ

as your personal lord

and savior?

No, but l...

I love his work.

No. What he was

saving us from

was his f***ing father.

What kind of god

creates Adam in his image

and then pulls Eve out of him

to keep him company?

And then tells them

not to eat

from the Tree

of Knowledge?

He was

so micromanaging.

So was Adam.

But Eve...

Eve just wanted

to know sh*t.

She took a bite

of the apple,

and she found out

what was good

and what was evil.

Then she gave it

to Adam,

so he would know,

because they were

in love.

And that was good,

they now knew.

Hedwig...

would you give me

the apple?

The words falling

from those lips.

And his eyes...

his irises

were clear cylinders

of surprising depth...

and emptiness.

Only a few puddles

of bluish pain

sloshed around inside.

Same blue

as my eyes.

At the time,

Tommy's performance options

were limited to the occasional guitar mass.

I initiated a six-month

curriculum of rock history...

Iyrics...

grooming...

and vocal training.

For his graduation present,

I gave him his name:

Tommy Gnosis,

the Greek word

for knowledge.

We collaborated.

Songs exploded

out of us.

Teenage girls

started showing up.

In three months,

we were outgrossing

monster trucks

in Wichita.

With that kind of money

coming in,

I was able to devote myself

entirely to our career.

We were very happy.

Honey,

what is wrong?

My dad.

F***ing parents!

You're gonna blow

my house down.

Just let it go,

sweetie.

Let it go.

It's gone.

I feel it,

it's gone.

I'm very much aware

that we haven't kissed

in all the months

we've been together.

In fact, he's maintained

a near perfect ignorance

of the front of me.

Honey, sweetie,

you're choking me.

Sweetie, let go.

Take it easy.

You wanna work

on that new song?

Hmm? The hit?

While I finish trimming

your eyebrows?

Are you drunk?

I'm not drunk.

I'm enjoying

a little...

a little rainwater

and Everclear.

Look what

you've done...

Sh*t!

And l...

Will always

love you...

What do you think?

You think love

lasts forever?

No, but

this song does.

Don't knock

a multi-platinum single.

When you are suddenly

Mr Commercial?

I wish I could hit

those notes.

She's been singing this song

on a loop for three days.

Seriously,

Tom, yeah.

I believe love

is immortal.

Look what

you've done...

F***!

I can't hear

myself.

How is it

immortal?

I don't know,

perhaps because...

Iove creates

something that...

was not there

before.

What?

Like procreation?

Yeah,

but not only.

What?

Like recreation.

What is that?

Stop, you come in here crying

and you wanna

recreate with me.

Maybe just...

creation.

Don't move.

Look what

you've done.

And l...

Will always

love you

I will always

love you

d

I will always

love you

cd

I will always

love you

f

I will always

love you

d

I will always...

Breathe through

my mouth.

Love you.

Oh, God.

Oh, Hedwig...

When Eve was still

inside Adam,

- they were in paradise.

- That's right, honey.

When she was

separated from him,

that's when paradise

was lost.

So when she enters

him again,

paradise will be

regained.

However you want it, honey.

Just kiss me while we do it.

What is that?

It's what I have

to work with.

M-my mum's probably

wondering where I am--

You're such

a f***ing sissy.

You are such

a sissy!

What are you

afraid of, huh?

What are you

afraid of?

What!?

I love you,

I love you!

Then love

the front of me, honey!

Love the--

We are dry,

we're spent--

we're flat broke.

- Who ordered the pizza?

- Oh, pizza. Hallelujah.

Schlatko, what are you

talking about?

We can't afford a pizza--

this is Manhattan! We can barely--

come on in-- we can barely

afford this hole.

We had to cancel

the gig tonight

because we can't

fix the amps.

No, I don't have any more money.

Schlatko, please!

I got it.

Yes you did,

and it's stunning--F*** off,

Phyllis.

I got the part.

I'm playing

the role of "Angel" in Broadway Cruise's

Polynesian tour of "Rent,"

so f*** you too,

Miss Hedwig!

I'm going to be a star.

Big star.

There's nothing

you can do about it!

Yeah, okay...

I don't care.

I don't care

if you have my passport.

F*** you,

I'm going to Guam!

And I want

a divorce.

I want a divorce

from you.

Mental cruelty,

irreconcilable difference!

I'm exhausted.

Are you tired?

You look tired.

I think maybe

we are just...

both very tired.

Hedwig...!

I don't think

you need my help anymore.

d

Fire shot down

from the sky in bolts

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