Hello Ladies: The Movie Page #8

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still obsessed with sitting

at the popular table.

I can't.

I don't know. I guess

I just have this image

in my head of

who I'm gonna spend the rest

of my life with, you know?

The one. My one.

And I'm really sorry, but

I just don't think it's you.

Well, thanks for being honest.

Is that your essay?

- Oh, my gosh, yeah.

- Yeah, great.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Should be okay.

- Yeah.

I, uh...

think maybe you should move out.

Oh, you don't think we can get past this?

I think it would be too difficult.

You know, you'll be around and dating.

I know I'd help you with the

rent and that still stands.

- No, no, you don't have to do that.

- No, please.

We made that deal. It's fine.

Take as long as you need

to find somewhere else.

Good night.

- Here are my keys.

- Oh, thanks.

- Bye, Rory.

- Bye, Jessica.

Okay, bye.

Yup, bye.

- You okay?

- I will be.

- This is Glenn.

- Hey, it's Stuart.

Chicken Wings.

What's going on, buddy?

Just sort of feeling

like I need to let my hair down.

I was wondering if there's

any fun parties this weekend.

Alan's having another boat

party. Want me to put you on the list?

Yeah, that

would be good. Thank you.

Do you mind if I bring a couple of friends?

- Are they cool?

- Yeah.

Why not? All right.

- Oh, oh!

- You okay, you okay?

There we go.

Hello. Hello.

You've never seen "The Poseidon

Adventure"? Oh, it's great.

Stuart.

Oh, hello, sir.

- Thank you for having me back.

- Haven't seen you lately.

No, I haven't really been in the

party mood if I'm honest, sir.

I sort of split up with a girl.

Plenty of more beavers in the river.

Well, maybe, yeah.

I quite like this beaver.

Don't get hung up on any

one woman. Not worth it.

- You know what p*ssy is spelled backwards?

- No.

- "Wise up."

- Oh.

- Funny, right?

- Yeah, it's good. It's clever.

Glenn, lost the sunglasses again

if you could just pick them up.

Stuart, look after my friends

Brooke and Riley for a bit.

Where'd you see them last, Alan?

- Hello, ladies.

- Hi.

And then she said, "That's

not why it's called a poop deck."

Just one second, ladies.

- Take care of it.

- Yeah.

One second.

Hey, buddy, this is a little awkward,

but Alan has a slight

issue with your friends.

What do you mean?

It's just not really the vibe

he's going for at these parties.

But Alan said they can hang out below deck

just so they're not in

everybody's faces so much.

- "Below deck"?

- Yeah, but you can hang out up here.

I think Riley likes you.

- All right.

- Yeah.

- You good?

- Sure, yeah, of course.

Thanks, buddy.

I have the funniest story from Cabo.

You're gonna lose your sh*t.

Two years ago, I go down there...

Alan, sorry to interrupt, mate.

I just wanted to ask you something.

Glenn said you've got an issue

with my friends being up on deck.

- I don't care about your friends.

- No? Oh, that's good.

Right, I thought there must

have been a miscommunication

'cause it would seem hypocritical

given that you're a misogynistical

wanker who's gonna die alone.

Funny, right?

Glenn, get your friend

the f*** off my boat.

- He's not my friend.

- No, he's not my friend.

He's just a toady, really, that

I just use to try and get girls.

All right, well, I'll show myself out.

Cheers, mate. See you later.

How in the f*** you get us

thrown off a boat full of models?

Sorry, you know, I just...

I want you to know this is the

worst thing that has ever happened to me...

and I can't walk.

When I started at

college, I was really excited.

But then a couple of months in,

I just... I started feeling adrift again.

I kept thinking, like,

"Why am I even doing this?

Where am I going and what am I

gonna do with the rest of my life?"

But then I was in class this one day

and this professor was giving

this fascinating talk...

All your actions must have universality.

...and I realized

I loved that I knew something

I didn't know an hour before.

I was just enjoying being

there in that moment.

I wasn't worried about the future.

I was just there.

So that's just good

enough for me right now.

That's exactly how I

feel when I rock climb.

Wow, you rock climb?

- I do.

- Cool.

- Jessica.

- Oh.

Hi.

Oh, this is Marion and Paul.

- And this is Josh.

- Glenn. This is Brooke.

- Hi.

- Hi.

So what are you up to? How's it going?

Just been working 24/7.

Oh, I finally got a parking spot on P2.

- Oh, wow. Great.

- It's awesome.

So how's Stuart doing? Have you seen him?

- Who cares? He's a f***ing a**hole.

- Whoa.

- I thought you guys were best buds.

- F*** that dude.

He disrespected Alan on his own

boat and he calls me a "toady"?

I looked it up. It's some British slang.

He basically called me a

sycophantic little b*tch.

People in this town.

I gotta go, though.

Alan's by himself at a club,

so I got to meet up with him,

but, uh, see you down the road.

Okay.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's Stuart. Is it a bad time?

No, no. Not at all. I'm

just making breakfast.

We had an incredible

time and we loved Jessica.

She's adorable.

Oh, yeah. No, she is. She is.

Um, that's actually the reason I'm calling.

Uh...

she's not my girlfriend.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You guys broke up?

No, um, we never dated.

Also, I never dated Nicole Kidman.

She's just a friend.

She's not a friend. I

never even met her before.

Sorry, I'm confused.

Why would you do that?

Because I'm an idiot.

And I wanted to impress you and Mike.

But anyway, I just wanted to

call and apologize for that.

Okay.

Um, are you okay?

Yes. No, I'm good.

Everything's... everything's good.

Well, take care of yourself.

- And you.

- Okay.

- Bye.

- Bye.

I went, "What do we do?"

And I said, "You need some milk."

I couldn't understand, so I'm like, "No."

Get the milk out, it's expired.

I pour it, it's chunky, cottage cheese...

Disgusting.

Drink it and you'll feel better...

What is the bet to stay in the game?

- $2.

- The bet is $2 to stay in the game?

- $2.

- I... I'm out.

It's a shocker. Shocker that you folded.

Can I get my homeboys any

more paella or patatas bravas?

Yes, thank you.

Hey, Stuart, it's me.

Jessica.

And, um...

I know we haven't spoken in a while,

but it is my birthday on Friday.

And I will be having drinks

in the same place as last year

where I'll be pretending I'm

the same age as last year.

So if you'd like to come,

it would be great to see you.

Okay, I hope you're well.

Bye.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Happy birthday.

- Oh, thank you.

- This is my girlfriend Kate.

- Hi.

- Oh, it's so nice to meet you.

- You, too.

- This is for you. It's from both of us.

- Thank you.

- Both of us. See you later.

- Okay.

- Hello.

- Hi.

I am Wade's friend Stuart.

Oh, it's very nice to meet you.

Nice to...

- This is for you. Happy birthday.

- Oh, thank you.

- Wow.

- I think you'll be very pleased with this.

It is a gift card for 24-hour tech support.

Amazing, right? So if your computer

crashes or if you lose any essays,

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