Hens Night Page #2

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[Holly] Consider the torch passed.

What's that?

It's a game that we've

been playing for years.

It's called Hens Night.

We've been adding to it, and

it's kind of our tradition.

It's kind of like dare cards.

Who goes first?

Do I have to play?

Yes, but I'll go first.

(ominous music)

Get the waiter's phone number, no problem.

That says bartender.

But I prefer the waiter.

Alright, here we go everybody.

Beers are on their way

and is there anything else

I can get you guys?

How about your phone number?

My phone number, my god,

you think I'm that easy?

[Woman] I'm willing to bet on it.

Damn you, all right.

Oh do you want my name.

Sure.

- Here we go lovely.

- Thank you.

You're welcome, sweetie.

[Woman] Good job.

No, I can't do it.

(laughs)

I know that look.

What's wrong?

- Shitty name?

- Yep.

It's Stacey.

(laughing)

Task completed, Holly's next.

(rock music)

Take a shot every time

someone says something

they hate about weddings.

Oh my god, for the rest of the night.

Yes.

But since you have a lot

of catching up to do,

you have to take a shot

every time we mention

something we hated about your wedding.

Oh well I'm gonna be sober

'cause my wedding was amazing.

F***ing doves.

You b*tch.

You released doves?

I'm afraid so.

Oh I think that's really sweet.

Not as sweet as your

gropey Uncle Francis.

Fair enough.

Alright I'm gonna break the seal.

No more tasks until I get back.

The queen has left the building.

(laughs)

[Laura] This is so much fun,

thank you for inviting me.

I'm really glad you're

having a good time.

I am, like I never get

to do stuff like this,

like fancy restaurants

and limo rides and...

Fun games.

I sort of wish I had friends

that would do this for me.

Your friends aren't

doing anything for you?

No, I don't actually have friends.

That sucks.

I'm so sorry.

Oh it's okay, you know,

I keep myself busy with...

Cooking and painting

ceramics and stuff like that.

Maybe we could do something for you.

You'd throw me a bachelorette party?

Yeah, I mean we could

figure something out.

Oh my god, this is so amazing.

We could have a total slumber party

and everyone could come.

I like always wanted to

have a slumber party.

Yeah, that sounds like it could be fun.

We could have cocktails

and talk all night

and just have fun, you know,

like when we were kids.

Yeah, like when we were kids, sure.

You girls are so amazing,

like I'll make sure

to have the whole place

cleaned for next Saturday.

Next Saturday.

Sorry, I'm busy next Saturday.

Oh.

I don't know, Laura, next

week's the only weekend

I have left before the wedding,

and there's so much to do.

Oh but it has to be next Saturday,

I get married on Sunday.

What?

This Sunday.

So you're getting married

the weekend before me

and this is the first

I've heard about this?

It was kind of the only

weekend that worked for Peter

and he's always traveling.

Was I even invited?

Peter kind of wanted to keep it small.

But you know this would be great,

it would be even better

'cause then you guys

could come for the slumber

party and then stay

for the wedding.

It would really mean a lot

for me if you were there.

Um, well then we'll go up there

and we'll throw you the

best bachelorette party

anyone has ever had.

I'm so excited, I can't wait for this!

This is gonna be so much fun,

I'm so happy, I'm so happy.

I can't wait.

What's everyone so excited about?

[Laura] About the slumber party

we're gonna have next weekend.

What the f*** is she talking about?

We'll talk later.

Okay my turn.

Give another hen a sexy lap dance.

- You down?

- Oh I'm down.

So what the hell

happened while I was gone?

(rock music)

(sensual music)

And I wish she could

see me as others do

I wish you could be me and love it too

I'm not over the answer you gave to me

It's not over until we want it to be

Until we want it to be

It's like I love myself

(cheering)

It's like I love myself

More than I love you baby

It's like I love myself

And I want you to be

like I never could

It's not the easiest

dream, something good

I'm not out of the darkness

- Yeah.

- Nice.

- Take it off.

- Woo!

When something's fine

It's like I love myself

More than I love you

- (cheering)

- Go girl!

It's like I love myself

More than I love you baby

It's like I love myself

(cheering)

I'm no expert but I don't think

that whole dance was necessary.

But you know, Jess has

always loved the attention.

(laughing)

Ah, nice seeing exes getting along.

Exes?

This is gold.

Laura, you didn't know

your cousin was a lesbian?

I wasn't a lesbian.

I'm a lesbian.

See.

We had a brief fling

when we were younger.

You loved it.

Okay I'm not a lesbian,

but I test drove one.

Then she went back to dick, for shame.

Expensive gift registry.

What the f***?

I couldn't even tell

that you were a lesbo.

- Thank you, Laura.

- You're welcome.

[Woman] Laurie, you ready for your turn?

Yeah, actually this is fun.

(ominous music)

Ask a guy or a girl in the bar to dance.

Oh!

Who are you gonna ask?

[Holly] What about the

hottie in the black shirt,

he's really hot.

You are drunk, he's clearly (mumbles).

(laughing)

Oh what about the waiter?

Ew, no, no one wants your leftover.

What about him?

[Jess] Oh nice, do it.

Yeah, get over there before I do.

But what do I say?

Simple, just introduce yourself,

give him a compliment and

then you two can get busy.

What! No!

(laughing)

It's true, men like

their big fat ego stroked.

'Kay, I'll give it a shot.

Yeah, go, you look amazing.

(laughing)

Whoops.

Oh my god, she actually

looks like she's having fun

in her own little weird

unicorn loving way.

I know, I can't believe she's

actually playing the game.

- Excuse me.

- Hi.

(laughs) Hi.

You look really good.

I'm sorry?

I really like your hair.

Oh thank you, it sort of grew that way.

(giggles) That's funny.

Do you, do you want to dance?

Um, I don't think I've had

enough to drink for that yet.

Oh, we could drink more?

Actually, do you think

you could introduce me

to that red head at your

table that was doing

that sort of sexy dance?

I think I'm ready for her.

Um, Kim.

F***!

Ah man, I'm gonna go with her.

(Laura weeping)

What the f***?

I have never been so

humiliated in all my life.

What happened?

Apparently he liked your slutty dance.

What, f*** that guy, he's an a**hole.

He's not the problem,

you're the problem.

Excuse me?

Oh, Kim, hi.

What the f*** are you doing here?

I'm having drinks with my friends.

Yeah, that's pretty f***ing convenient.

I didn't know you were here.

Don't bullshit me.

You mean to tell me you didn't

notice the dirty dancing bit?

I saw that, but before

that, I swear to god

I had no clues you were here.

Your friend here's a real creep.

Roger, if you don't stop stalking me,

I'm gonna call the f***ing cops.

It's all your fault.

You ruined my dare because

you need attention from men!

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