Het Diner Page #2

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- Yes, Lohman.

- But you aren't Mr Lohman.

- Aren't I?

- No.

- I certainly am.

I'm his brother.

Please go on through.

Good evening.

- Would you rather have a view of the exit?

- No.

Tonight I only want to see your face.

At least Serge can look at himself

all night.

Usually, I want to be able

to monitor everything.

I sit with my back to the garden,

or the wall, or the open kitchen.

Claire sacrifices herself.

There's something in her,

a kind of inner peace or power...

which allows her to be content

with walls and open kitchens.

My own Dalai Lama.

What makes you say that?

Don't know. Popped into my head.

Did you see that guy?

Isn't that woman too young for him?

Calm down.

Do you work for the vice squad?

We're here, so let's try

to enjoy ourselves.

- Enjoy ourselves?

- Sure.

You seem to be much more alert lately.

In every department. Am I right?

You stopped taking your pills.

So?

- I love the old Paul.

- The dangerous Paul.

Greek olives from the Peloponnesos

with a light drizzle...

of the new yield of North Sardinian

extra virgin olive oil.

Finished off with rosemary

from our own garden.

- Finished off?

- Finished off with rosemary.

- That means...

- I know what finished off means.

I know that the olives

aren't finished off...

as in shot or stabbed.

Sorry, I never looked at it that way.

- What about that suit?

- Honey...

It's weird. A green suit?

Makes no sense.

Hold on. Let's see if I can deduce

the green suit theme.

Maybe it corresponds to the olives.

- Maybe it's...

- Peloponnesean green.

Wonderful.

But with a faint note of sun deprivation.

- What's with that guy's pinky?

- I wouldn't get excited about it.

Maybe he just wants to act posh.

Maybe it's arthritis.

Or a sports injury.

Could be possible, right?

From a baseball.

Or a cricket ball.

- They're as hard as a rock.

- Here they are.

Doesn't look like a sporting type though.

- They're here.

- I'm not going to watch.

I'll tell you.

People are bowing and scraping.

A man in a white turtleneck,

possibly the owner has joined them.

They're coming this way.

- Jesus...

- What?

- Looks like Babette's been crying.

- Tell me he's not signing autographs?

Crying? Jesus.

- It's getting out of hand.

- What is?

This race for Prime Minister...

always at the expense of the family.

Hi, Sifi, good to see you.

Frans!

This is my wife...

Good to see you.

Very good.

Chef! Knock yourself out!

Hi.

You look good.

I actually feel a bit fragile

- You don't look it.

- Paul.

- Serge.

Why are we stuck in the middle?

Perhaps because you

only reserved this morning.

Only Roger Federer rakes his fingers

through his hair more than Serge.

He didn't used to have

a solid handshake.

But he has taught himself to make

a strong impression on the people.

Because people don't vote

for a limp hand.

Thank you, Tonio.

I'll come right out and say it.

You know me, I don't mince my words.

Let's talk right away

about why we are here.

Right. And what's the reason?

- Didn't Paul tell you?

- I'd love to hear it from you.

Serge, let me catch my breath,

or I'll leave right now.

This is fun.

I looked at them like a poker player

trying to guess his opponents' cards.

Serge knows something,

or we wouldn't be here.

The purpose of the evening is to try

to figure out how much he knows.

Babette also knows something,

or she wouldn't be crying.

I hope she doesn't say anything to Clair.

She knows nothing.

And sadly I know everything.

- Stand over there.

- Dad?

- Stand over there.

- Dad?

Lady Bang.

- Hi, dad. What are you doing?

- Nothing. Wondering where you were.

Do you know

where we keep the valves?

- Valves?

- Yes, bike valves.

- Ask your mom.

- What are you doing here?

Nothing. Just...

- You were looking for me? Why?

- I was just looking for you.

The aperitif of the house

is pink champagne.

That's kind of you.

The aperitif is 14 euros, sir.

The aperitif of the house?

Then you'd think you're giving it to us.

When it's on the house

you get it, don't you?

'May we offer you a drink?'

That means it's free.

14 euros?

Let's turn it around. Would we order

that bland, pink champagne...

if we knew it was 14 euro?

- May I see your wine list?

- Of course, sir.

They have a wonderful Chablis.

I can't even remember when my brother

pronounced himself a wine connoisseur.

It all happened rather suddenly.

One day he grabbed the wine list

and started mumbling about...

the earthy finish of Portuguese wines

of the Alentejo region.

Excuse me.

I'll go and get another bottle.

Home

Do you have Michel's phone?

I don't think so.

Dammit! F***!

Well, at least it's not fattening.

Betteraves et fromage chvre,

tomme de chvre.

Various textures of beet and walnuts.

We know, because that's exactly

what we ordered.

The goat cheese is from the petting zoo

where the goats are free range.

- I just joined a new gym.

- "Joining", also takes a lot of exercise.

- I will go, you know.

- Where is it? I want to do Pilates.

- They do Pilates.

- With a table? Otherwise it's fake.

- Table?

- With cables and springs.

- Who's calling all the time?

- I'll turn it off.

I really can't take that god-awful music.

What's it called?

- House.

- No, these days it's dub step.

That music drives me insane.

That's why I started running outdoors!

Oh now you're running too?

When I started running 20 years ago...

you called it:
"My kid brother's fad".

You always remember those things so well.

I lost track. Did you or didn't you

see that new Woody Allen movie?

- He's such a crap director.

- I think he keeps getting better.

You're the only one in the entire world

who still thinks so.

He tells us that life is tough.

- Say Lady Bum.

- Lady Bum?

Lady Bang, say Lady Bang.

- Lady Bang.

- No, Lady Bum.

Lady Bum is better.

I don't go to the movies anymore. I only

watch 'Keeping Up With the Kardashians'.

Really? You watch that?

He thinks is the sublime example

of a proper Roman family.

Well, it is. That Bruce is great.

He's an elderly child. An ex gladiator.

And that woman, Chris,

she's a born madam.

She'd have had a brothel

in antiquity.

And those daughters...

It's just wonderful.

- Isn't there one with a huge ass?

- Yeah.

I think the gentlemen consider

that a plus these days?

If that's true, I'll stop spinning.

Those Kardashians are so

wonderfully pagan. No guilt whatsoever.

They don't give a sh*t.

So that movie is at least 6 years old?

Yeah, where that painter

tries to pick up two girls.

- That's Serge's dream. Right, Serge?

- We know what it's about.

What's that one girl's name?

- Who?

- Rebecca Hall.

Rebecca Hall, Serge.

That's that other girl's name.

Sir Peter Hall's daughter.

No one is as well-informed

as my brother Paul.

He's such a dick.

What he means is:

I'm far too busy in The Hague...

but Paul has time to flip

through the movie magazines.

What's Babette doing

with that moron? 18 years.

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