Hits Page #5

and I would request,

if there are trees to be cut,

I would be happy

to be part of that committee

for recommendation or refusal.

The people in my state

need permanent relief

from crooked men

riding their backs.

This is a depressed county

we live in,

and I suggested many times

that we should get

a professional sports franchise.

Time, Mr. Stuben.

Minelli's eliminated

their Italian specialties menu,

specifically eliminating...

Thank you, Mr. Stuben.

Which is the only item...

And the threat of aggression

by any group, anywhere,

can no longer be tolerated.

Because I have a voice,

and I have a vote!

Time, time.

Time, Mr. Stuben.

This is America!

I demand three more minutes!

I request my rights

as a citizen!

Time, Mr. Stuben.

I know not

what course others may take,

but as for me...

give me liberty,

or give me death.

We used to go out

with just my dad's .22.

It'd be me and James and Brant.

And we wouldn't even

let Brant shoot.

Hello, Rich.

Oh, hey, look who it is,

Mr. Occupy Wall Street.

I don't know about that.

What happened?

I was having

my civil rights denied,

and I wasn't gonna

take it anymore.

Well, looks like we got

Rosa Parks in here, huh?

"I have a dream," right?

Old Dave has a dream

to climb to the mountaintop

of city council equality!

I don't think that's funny.

All right, Dave, all right.

It's okay.

Chrissake, take it easy, Dave.

Um...

Oh, I tell you...

I traded Shanahan

my Mossberg 535

for his Bellini SuperNova.

All right.

F***in' sweet 12-gauge.

Pistol grip.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Well... see you later.

Bye, Oprah.

Sh*t.

See, the system

is counting on ignorance.

Ignorance is the wind

which fills the sails

of these malicious miscreants.

They've forced their way

into the driver's seat

and are happily steering us

in this runaway train,

hurtling towards...

and ultimately off the cliff!

We go begging to them

with our tail between our legs,

asking for the fairest of...

Mr. Stuben.

Mr. Stuben...

Dave Stuben.

Yeah.

I'm Officer Lemke.

This is Officer Blauser.

Do you mind if we talk

to you for a minute?

Yeah, I mind.

It's about the threats

you've been making

to Ms. Christina Casserta.

No, I didn't.

And I know... I know my rights.

I get a lawyer.

If you're gonna come

on my private property

and try to arrest me...

Take it easy, Mr. Stuben.

We're not here to arrest you.

Okay.

Well, then, get off my property.

Mr. Stuben, we just wanted

to let you know

that, even anonymously,

that online threats

made to a public figure

are taken very seriously

at our department.

We're all aware

of your disruptive behavior

at the last few

city council meetings.

You want to know

about disruptive behavior?

How about you trying

to take away

my basic civil rights

as an American?

I'm getting harassed

by the government...

Relax, relax.

On my private property.

I'll call the FBI!

I'll sue you and you!

I'll sue you!

- Put that down.

- Calm down, Mr. Stuben.

Calm down.

We just wanted to make you aware

of what the current situation

is.

You've been warned, Dave.

You're gonna hear about this.

Think Tank?

What's this?

YouTube.

What's on YouTube?

Baby cakes, baby cakes!

Dave wants to meet with us.

Wha...

Dave?

The poor guy from Upstate

who's being exploited.

Oh, right.

Yeah, he really wants us

to help him.

So you're just gonna

drive Upstate

and do what now?

Help him address

his grievances with the state.

We're gonna record him.

We're gonna, like,

take his message

and everything about him;

We're gonna blast it out.

We're gonna blast

the f*** out of it.

Donovan...

It's about social justice, babe.

It's about taking on

state-sanctioned bullying.

It's about censorship.

I'm pregnant.

What?

But...

Oh... oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

No, I'm not; I'm not.

I just...

I really wanted

to be able to say that.

Maddy.

But it was so dramatic, right?

Maddy, focus, okay?

This is really big

for Think Tank.

Everybody's gonna be there.

I mean, not everybody.

Obviously Gerald has

to take care of his cats.

And I think Janelle

has to finish her documentary

on hopscotch that weekend.

And Harris has...

Harris can't do it

because Harris has to go

to a box kite convention.

But it's a pretty good

core group, I think.

I think Cyrus is...

No, Cyrus is committed ro...

And you're gonna be back...

We're gonna leave tomorrow.

We're gonna be back

in, like, one or two days.

- Okay.

- Three days, tops.

Okay.

I was...

Oh.

Whatever, whatever.

Baby.

It's fine.

You know, it's fine.

You should just go.

Okay.

Kay.

I'll try to check in every hour.

Okay.

Bye-ee.

Oh, my god, that's adorable.

Oh, it's, like, the perfect size

for a city sidewalk.

It's so cute.

So f***ing cute.

See?

She's getting her own show now.

I know.

She's such a whore.

She didn't even do anything.

She auditioned.

Wait, you have to audition

to be on Teen Mom?

I guess, right?

I guess.

Do you think they got pregnant

first or second

when they auditioned?

I don't know.

I don't know either.

She's getting

her own nail polish line,

and she's gonna be on Ellen.

That's just what happens

when you're on Teen Mom,

which only came from being

in a sex tape that went viral.

God, she's, like...

double lucky.

F***ing viral videos?

I have more talent than she has

in her little fingers combined.

You mean you have more talent

in your little finger

than she does?

Yeah, combined.

That's what I said.

No, you said, like,

"I've got more talent than all

of her little fingers combined."

I should be famous.

Whoo!

Who the f*** is this guy?

Yo, hey, man.

Yo.

What you doing?

Nothing.

I'm getting ready to peel.

Sh*t's getting wack.

What are you talking about, man?

Why?

The nitrous guy's gonna be here

in, like, two seconds.

Aw, f*** that sh*t.

Suit yourself, dude.

You've been dragging around

all night.

What's up with you?

Nothing.

No, that's not nothing, man.

You're pissed off

because f***in' Katelyn

is eating the sh*t

out of Cody's face right now.

What?

Nigga, please.

I just got mad allergies,

is all.

Oh, yeah,

f***in' allergies, man.

I thought you were

off her, dude.

Yeah, man, I don't give a f***.

Plus f*** him.

F*** him for what he's

been posting, you know?

Wait, what the f***'s

he been posting?

You know, posting sh*t

on Facebook.

Yeah?

Yeah, man.

He said something about, like,

this rapping f*ggot-tard

who's, like,

making a fool of himself.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah, man.

You didn't see that sh*t

on Facebook?

Dude, for sure.

Man, I'm not saying

it was about you,

but probably was.

Yeah, that's right.

That is right, dude.

Don't let him get away

with that sh*t, dude.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll f*** that little b*tch up.

Yeah, exa... right?

Cody's a f***in' punk.

He's a little b*tch.

You think I can't rap, huh?

Nigga, please!

Yo, b*tch.

Cory, what the hell

are you doing?

I ain't talking to you, b*tch.

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