Hits Page #9

letting us intrude like this.

Oh, my gosh, no problem at all.

I was an only child.

I don't have any siblings.

So...

I'm not a reporter,

but I've watched the news a bit,

and I think

that's a great story.

Oh... yeah.

Can I help you guys

with anything?

Oh, no, that's all right.

Like an interview or anything?

No.

Thanks.

Oh, this is him.

Hey, there he is!

Dad?

- Dave!

- Dave!

Dave, how was the dump, Dave?

Uh, okay.

Dave, how's it feel

to be a part of this movement?

Dad?

Dad.

Oh, hey, honey.

Hey, Dave?

I need to talk to you.

I have a few ideas I want

to run by you for tonight.

Dad.

And the... we need to talk

to you about your outfit, okay?

- Dad.

- And your mustache.

Dad?

The acronym would be

O.T.T.S.T.D...

D.D.T.I.

It's too long of a hashtag.

I'm thinking

of forward slashing it.

Well, f***, we'll do both.

Operation Think Tank

Saves the Day,

Dave's Day, That Is.

Perfect.

Haters gonna hate.

Players gonna play.

Make the universe sit up.

Tonight they gonna pay.

Will they say my name out loud,

do my mama proud, I'm allowed.

As I force-field my rhymes

through intergalactic

prime times,

it's get-up-and-go time.

Motherfuckers, it's showtime.

Yeah, b*tches!

I'm a veteran of two wars,

and I can tell you,

the Founding Fathers would be

ashamed of our behavior.

They would laugh at us.

Adding a stop sign at the corner

of Dumont and Crawford

is exactly

what they fought against.

Time.

Thank you, Mr. Hapsburg.

Thank you.

It's always a treat

to hear from our constituents.

Winetta McKey.

Sweetheart.

I never said the word "school"

or "crossing."

That's what I wrote down.

Oh, must be

the pen's fault, then.

62 Huntsman Lane.

I would like to address

the issue of the...

Oh, Donovan, be my eyes.

We're here;

Take a look at this.

I have a hip dysplasia, and...

Isn't it amazing?

Oh, go get 'em, babe.

I wrote down things

that I can say.

I'll... I'll be back.

Thank you so much, Ms. McKey.

Your insight is

very much appreciated.

Um...

Dave Stuben.

Yeah!

Dave!

- Dave, yeah.

- This is amazing.

Dave!

Dave's about to speak.

It's gonna be... epic.

Remember,

you have three minutes,

and three minutes only.

That way, we get to hear

from everyone

who wants to participate

in democracy.

Yeah.

Dave Stuben.

In the United States,

all people are created equal,

but not in the city of Liberty.

Liberty is like Berlin

under Hitler.

And it's time to...

It's time to drain the swamp.

The town council and the mayor

don't answer

the people's questions.

And the town council

is there for us,

but are they there for us?

They're there for us...

but "no" is more like it.

I believe in all people

and religion and freedom

and justice for all.

We used to be part of England

under the king,

and one of the grievances was,

"He sent hither swarms

of officers

to harass our people

and eat out our substance."

That is a quote from

the Declaration of Independence,

and I would like that

put in the record.

Official request.

So I have a question, then,

for the city council

and especially you,

Ms. Casserta.

If I do pay my fair share

of taxes,

How come I can't get nobody

to plow my street?

Well, Mr. Stuben...

Here in Liberty,

we are very lucky

to have a reciprocal agreement

with the village of Ellenville

so that if something

were to happen...

Yes, okay, yeah.

Well, guess what,

I talked to that guy,

or tried to call him.

Mr...

Mr. Anucci, that jerk.

And getting...

getting an answer from him

is like getting blood

from a turnip!

So, Ms. Casserta, my question

for you is the same one.

How do I get somebody

to plow my street?

Well, I don't know how else

to explain this, Dave.

But if we run short

here in Liberty,

we are lucky enough to be able

to go to Ellenville and...

Yeah, I understand that.

I understand that, remember?

A few weeks ago

when I had a letter

from Amnesty International

and the federal attorney general

and you made me feel ridiculous?

Well, guess who's feeling

ridiculous now, Ms. Casserta.

'Cause I have the whole town

and TV and the entire internet.

And they're watching you

make a fool of yourself.

Dave, let's stay calm now, okay?

I am one man

trying to seek redress

from his elected officials.

I am trying to right a wrong...

Time.

In Liberty!

- Thank you, Mr. Stuben.

- No, no more.

No, I have more to say!

- That is all the time you have.

- No!

You will let me speak!

You will let me speak!

Let Dave speak!

Where in the U.S. Constitution

does it say

that people only get

three minutes to speak?

Let Dave speak!

Ask your lawyer that!

That's enough, Dave.

And I will have the rest of you

thrown out

for public disturbance.

And it's... ugh!

It's 'cause of those Jews

who run that stupid ACLU!

And they won't return my letters

'cause they're too busy

defending all the scum

of the earth,

like gays and Muslims!

That is quite enough.

And it's 'cause you

are taking marching orders

from Barack Obama,

that socialist n*gger

in the White House!

Yes, you are!

You are being bullied by him!

And I don't even

support him officially.

Barack Hussein Obama.

Did you know "Barack"

is a Jewish word?

And it means lightning.

It's in the Bible,

Luke 10:
18.

Satan came down as lightning.

That's enough.

Satan will come down

as lightning!

- Wait, was that part of your...

- No!

That's in the Bible!

I want it in the record!

I want it in the record!

Dave.

You, and all the liberal...

all the liberal Jew-run media

and their enablers!

Dave.

They are authorizing

the corporate elite

in this country!

Dave, don't make me...

I heard that on Alex Jones,

so it's true!

Dave.

I heard it on Alex Jones,

so I know it's true!

Guards, remove Mr. Stuben

from the floor.

You and your global warming!

If global warming's

such a problem,

how come my street

has snow all over it

for an entire winter?

How come?

I am talking.

I have a right to speak

in this council.

These people are with me!

I'm with you

on some of it, Dave!

They're behind me!

On some of it, Dave.

Oh, I see.

You're a bunch of cattle.

Huh?

When the truth comes out,

the cowards sit down

and shut their mouths.

Yeah.

Nothing but a bunch of cows.

Why don't you faggots

go back to Jew York

and finish sucking

each other's c*cks?

We the people are

the government, Ms. Casserta!

You give 'em hell, Dave!

I got your back!

Don't worry, Mr. Stuben.

I got your back.

I'm doing this for Katelyn.

I love your daughter!

I'm Cory.

It's C-to-the-Y.

And in between it's "R."

The f***?

Ah!

Ahh!

What is happening over there?

Honey, are you okay?

Isn't somebody gonna stop this?

If you can hear this computer,

help him!

There you go, yeah.

Ah!

There you go.

It's all right, everyone.

Calm down, calm down.

Everybody, calm down.

This is what you have wrought!

This whole town council

is rotten to the core!

Shut up, Dave!

Come on, come on.

Turn the f***ing hip-hop off!

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