Holiday Camp Page #6

- Well, it looks like it.

You know, l don't think l like you at all.

Well, don't let it bother you. l shan't.

Did your father ever give you a good hiding

when you were a kid?

He tried it once and l nearly bit his thumb off.

He never tried it again.

Nice little chap.

Seen Jimmy lately?

The last time l saw him he was at the pool,

teaching a smashing redhead the breaststroke.

How interesting. l'll go and watch.

Cheerio.

See you at the Old Bailey.

Hey, sailor!

l want a word with you.

- What about?

- You owe my girlfriend an apology.

- l do?

- Yes. She didn't let you down.

She waited three quarters of an hour

at the ballroom.

Yeah, so did l.

Then you must have been at the wrong one.

- l didn't know there were two.

- Well, there are.

You'd better think fast,

you've got some explaining to do.

- Where is she now?

- ln the lounge with Binky.

With him?

She's keeping him out of mischief

while l get my tennis things.

He's my bloke, Jimmy.

- l wouldn't leave him with the prettiest girl here.

- l happen to trust Joan.

- l wouldn't trust him with my grandmother!

- lf she's anything like you, she'll be quite safe.

- Do you mind if l sit here?

- Hm?

No, of course not.

Oh, dear, l feel worn out.

- How come?

- l dreamt l couldn't sleep last night.

This morning l'm as tired

as if l hadn't been to bed.

You want to stay awake next time

and get a good night's rest.

What's the matter? Smut on my nose?

No, it's just l'm sure

l've seen you somewhere before.

- l never forget a face.

- That's the Hardwick profile.

Once seen never forgotten. Cigarette?

That's it! Now l know.

lt's all coming back to me. Hendon.

What are you talking about?

Your cigarette case. Don't you remember?

You were staying at the Old Bull at Hendon.

l was working there.

And you left your case behind.

- Really?

- Yes.

lt was in the drawer of the table by your bed.

l found it when l come to do the room.

You were ever so grateful.

You gave me a pound note.

So l did. Fancy you remembering.

l didn't often get a tip like that, l can tell you.

l remember thinking,

''That's a real gentleman, that Mr Baker.''

Mr Baker.

That's what you were called then.

Mr Geoffrey Baker.

- l remember bringing your letters up to you...

- Ssh! Not so loud!

Now look, Elsie, you're a smart girl.

And l'm going to take you into my confidence.

l'm here on a special job. lncognito.

- What's that?

- Oh, you know. Different name and all that.

- A sort of disguise.

- Why?

Scotland Yard have sent me down here

on a special job to keep a look out for someone.

Who?

Look, you must keep this to yourself.

- Promise?

- Cross my heart.

- You've read about the Mannequin Murderer?

- Yes.

Well, we believe he may be here.

- (Gasps)

- Ssh!

Here?

lt's only a guess,

but l've been sent down to keep a look out.

- Oh, l'm ever so glad you were.

- Don't breathe a word to a living soul, will you?

ELSlE:
You never can tell

what'll happen to you on a holiday.

Listen, it's not the sort of thing to talk about.

lt's our secret. Just you and me.

Just you and me. Oh! Doesn't it sound romantic?

Angela!

- Where's Joan?

- How should l know?

- Where is she?

- l don't know and l don't care!

- She was with you last!

- Take your hands off me!

- What have you done with her?

- l haven't done anything with her!

lt's what you would have done

if you'd have had the chance.

- l thought you were going to play tennis.

- With that lady-killer? No thanks!

- What's he done?

- Need you ask?

- Someone else?

- Wonder he can keep count.

- Never mind. You're better off without him.

- Oh, leave me alone!

l'm feeling mad.

- Anyway, why aren't you with Jimmy?

- l haven't seen him.

You know what he did yesterday?

Waited at the other ballroom.

- That's his story.

- No, l think he was telling the truth.

After what happened with Binky,

you think he's telling the truth?

Maybe you're right, pal.

You bet l'm right. From now on,

l'm going to find myself something better to do.

- Oh, where are you doing?

(Knock)

l thought l'd drop in and let you know

l've done him good and proper.

- Done who?

- This bloke Binky.

- You beast! Where is he?

- l don't know. l don't care much.

Oh, Binky!

- l-l-l thought she'd...

- You'd better go and wash your face.

Oh.

- Lovely view, ain't it, Mother?

- Yes.

There seems to be more sky here, somehow.

That's because of the houses.

But there aren't any.

That's what l mean.

- lt's nice having time for a real talk, isn't it?

- Mm.

l can't think when we had so much

to say to one another, can you?

No.

Quiet, isn't it?

You know why that is.

Cos we haven't got the children with us.

Funny how you never realise how fond you are

of children till you get away from them.

- Joe.

- Yeah?

Joe, seeing all these women at the camp

all poshed up,

it makes me wonder sometimes

if l'm not getting a bit dowdy for you.

What, you? Don't be daft.

Women who go larking about in a pair of panties

and a brassiere are all right at the seaside.

Give me something plain in the home.

Oh, Joe, that's nice of you.

Joe, l wonder when we was last

on our own like this, you and me.

l can tell you when. lt was on our honeymoon.

Oh, that was a lovely afternoon.

Remember we took a threepenny bus and

walked over the golf links to the waterworks.

Oh, Joe, let's go there again one day.

We will.

The next Saturday after we get home, we'll go.

Ooh, no, not that Saturday, dear. That's

the Saturday you're whitewashing the kitchen.

lt'll have to be the Saturday after.

Well, l can't do that one.

lt's my darts match at the Legion.

Oh. Oh, well. We'll go one day.

Yeah. One day we really will.

(Fairground music)

- How old is he?

- Just 1 8 months.

lt's a lovely age, isn't it?

You must be very proud of him.

JOAN:
l suppose l am.

ESTHER:
What's his name?

JOAN:
Jeremy.

l spoil him dreadfully.

l'm afraid l'm a very bad mother.

ESTHER:
Nonsense. Babies love to be spoiled.

Have you taken him

to the Punch and Judy show yet?

- No, where is it?

- l'll show you. l often go and watch myself.

- But children are more fun than the play.

- (Laughs) All right.

- 'Ere, just a minute.

- Hello.

- ls that kid really yours?

- Yes.

- You never told me.

- You never asked me.

- You're married, then.

- Of course l'm married.

You don't imagine l'd have a child

if l wasn't, do you?

l wouldn't know. Maybe if l imagine less

about you in the future, l'll be better off.

- Suit yourself.

- Thanks, l will.

Oh, Miss Harman!

l think l've got something of yours.

lt must have dropped out of your bag

the other day when you came in.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, it is mine.

l wouldn't have lost it for anything.

l couldn't help looking.

- ls that you?

- Yes.

- And the soldier?

- Just someone l used to know.

We were going to be married on his next leave.

- Was he killed?

- l don't know. We could never find out.

His name wasn't in any of the casualty lists.

l waited and waited...

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