Hollywood Canteen Page #6

Quick, he's fainted.

Joan Crawford.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

You know, Slim...

...when we was mildewing in the jungle,

I kind of resented these canteens...

...and the guys who were lucky enough

to be here instead of there.

I won't resent it no more.

And I used to figure that Hollywood

was a place with all false fronts.

Nothing false about them

we seen tonight.

Gorgeous.

Yeah, she certainly is.

You know, I don't wanna get sloppy

about this but it kind of got me.

All them famous people being

friendly and democratic.

Democratic.

Democracy.

That's what it means, Slim.

Everybody equal, like tonight.

All them big shots

listening to little shots like me...

...and being friendly.

- Slim.

- What's the matter?

- I danced tonight!

- Quiet!

No, look!

I don't need my cane no more!

Hey, hey, look! Listen, you guys!

[MEN GROANING]

Look, I got rid of my extra leg!

Look, will you!

[SINGING] I left my cane

At the Hollywood Canteen

I left my...

MAN 1:
Quiet.

MAN 2:
Go to sleep.

NOLAN:
I didn't even miss it!

MAN 3:
Quiet.

That's wonderful, sarge, wonderful.

It was that dame

with the instinct that did it.

Something subconsciously primeval

passed on betwixt us and I forgot my cane.

Why didn't you tell me, Slim?

I was thinking about something else,

I guess. I didn't notice.

There's nothing like a leg of your own

to stand on.

Oh, that bread.

I could hire out

just to stand here and drool.

SLIM:

It sure smells good.

Good old American flowers.

- They sure top them jungle orchids.

- I'll say.

May I serve you?

No, ma'am, I'm just smelling.

Miss, have you got any of them flowers

what eats flies?

WOMAN:
You think that'd be appropriate

to send to your girlfriend?

I don't send my girlfriends no flowers.

I always say a good smack

on the kisser pays off more.

Sell my pal a daisy. He wants

to know whether he and his dream girl...

- ...was meant for each other.

- One on the house.

- Thanks a lot. Oh, fine.

- See?

NOLAN:
Say, look,

that sign says passion fruit.

I didn't know it came that way.

What do you get for passion fruit?

- As fruit or as juice?

- You mean, you can take it like juice?

Well, most people do. A dollar a bottle.

Slim, give me one of my dollars,

this I gotta try.

NOLAN:

Hey, look, your girlfriend.

SLIM:

Miss Leslie?

Oh, hello, are you shopping too?

No, ma'am, we're just looking.

You remember me?

Well, of course I do, you're Slim.

- I kissed you at the Canteen.

- I know.

I... I... I just want you to know that kiss,

it didn't put you under any obligations.

Oh, I understand.

But it sure was beautiful while it lasted.

- I'm glad you liked it.

- I sure did.

Miss Leslie,

I'd like you to meet Sergeant Nolan.

- How do you do, sergeant?

- Greetings.

Do you want me

to carry your vegetables to the car?

No, thanks, they're not very heavy.

Well, it... It's wonderful seeing you again.

Thanks,

it's nice seeing you again too, Slim.

- Well, goodbye.

- Bye.

Oh, you Romeo.

You chicken-hearted Bo Peep.

"It was so beautiful while it lasted."

Why didn't you get in there and pitch?

She said it was nice seeing me again.

Give me my bottle of passion-fruit juice.

Here.

Johnny!

Number 999,822

just came through the door.

- Won't be long now. I gotta go back.

- Okay.

All right, sit down, everybody, sit down.

Sit down, that's the idea.

Now, you fellows in the back,

sit down, will you, please? Thanks.

You know, this is the biggest night

in the history of the Canteen so far.

Around here we don't celebrate

anniversaries in terms of months or years...

...but in terms of how many of you

we've welcomed into this place.

Alan Hale just told me a number,

999,822.

That means the millionth soldier

or sailor or Marine...

...is gonna walk through that entrance

and we wanna celebrate it.

While we're waiting, I'd like to give a quick

run-through of how this place was born.

Bette Davis and the rest of us

thought it'd be a good idea...

...if we found a place where we could say,

"Welcome to Hollywood," and, "Thanks."

This is the place we found.

At first, it looked like a

kind of an abandoned dump...

...so we sent a circular around

to all the movie folks...

...and asked them to pitch in and help.

All the movie unions in town said,

"Okay, we're with you 100 percent."

First came the janitors...

...then came the carpenters,

on Sundays and holidays...

...and then the electrician fixed the wiring.

Meanwhile, the set designers laid out

blueprints and plans.

Then the painters came with their buckets

and brushes and made the place like new.

And the studio artists

painted the murals you see.

The signs came from the sign painters.

The trucking companies sent us trucks, and

folks chipped in on chairs and furniture.

The musicians' union started

lining up the music.

The planning committee had to keep

way ahead.

Actresses, gatemen, cameramen,

stenographers, directors...

...the whole motion-picture industry

pitched in to help.

The girls from the studios

volunteered to be junior hostesses.

They're not only actresses and secretaries

and script girls, they're grand kids.

I can't finish this story

without bringing to the mike...

...the lady who worked harder than anybody

to bring this Canteen into being.

Our first president and still our president.

Get Bette Davis.

- Front and center.

- I have to go.

What? What is it?

Did the millionth man come?

- This is all for you.

- Well, what about?

Come on and say thanks.

I don't know what Johnny could have said

to bring forth this very warm greeting...

...but whatever it was,

I'm perfectly sure I don't deserve it.

- Tonight is a big night here.

- I've already said that.

Have you?

What number's coming through?

What number is it, Alan?

Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand,

nine hundred and eighty-nine.

MAN:
Nine hundred and ninety-nine

thousand, nine hundred and eighty-nine.

JOHN:
Will you make an aisle, fellas?

Just make an aisle so he can get through.

That's right,

busboys, will you give us a hand?

That's the idea.

I see the millionth man, a sailor.

But these two babes from Lockheed said

they'd be at the Palladium hot or cold.

I know, Joe, but...

Come on, Weenie.

All right, so they don't show up,

we can come back.

What do you got to lose?

Are you sure my chick's good-looking?

Redheaded.

Okay, the Palladium it is.

Like you say, what have we got to lose?

You'll be very sorry.

And you'll be very happy.

Allow me to be the first to congratulate

you, soldier, and just step this way.

He's the millionth man.

Folks, the millionth man!

[BAND PLAYING FANFARE]

It's Slim.

- Johnny, you arranged this.

- I swear it's on the level.

Girls, he's all yours.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- I've kissed you before.

- That's right.

You didn't know

you were somebody special, did you?

No, ma'am. Am I?

Yes, you're the millionth man

to enter the Hollywood Canteen.

Gee, that's... That's a lot of men.

It is, and that's why we wanted

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