Hollywood Sex Wars Page #3
NO, DUMBSHIT.
THESE ONLINE:
DATING SITES:
ARE A GREAT WAY:
TO LEARN:
ABOUT WOMEN:
AND THE GAMES:
THEY PLAY.
( water splashing )
( whistling )
HEY, GIRLS.
LOOK WHAT I GOT.
YAY, DRINKS!
OHH!
PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!
I HATE TAN LINES!
IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE!
"DOGS ARE CONTROLLED
BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES.
EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE."
DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?
THEY EVEN CALL:
THEMSELVES DOGS.
IT'S SO PATHETIC.
THEY WOULD SPEND
THEIR WHOLE LIFE--
CAR, JOB, AND BEING--
( laughing )
"I LIKE CUDDLING,
SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS,
"WALKS ON THE BEACH,
DINING, A NICE MAN,
SINCERE, KIND"?
THIS SHI MAKES ME SICK.
WHY? SOME OF
OKAY, WINETASTING.
THAT MEANS SHE LIKES
TO GET F***ED UP.
DINING. THAT MEANS
YOU TAKE HER:
OUT TO DINNER.
WHAT, VACATIONS?
YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING
FOR THESE VACATIONS?
DO YOU REMEMBER:
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER
WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY
HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK?
YES. OH, MY GOD,
I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM.
I MEAN,
HOW'D THAT WORK OU FOR YOU?
HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER.
AND MY BEST FRIEND.
HEY, DUDE,
CHECK OUT THE FRIEND.
YEAH, DUDE,
SHE'S FINE.
Max:
YEAH, SHE IS BOMB.BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK
AT ALL THESE PHOTOS.
DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING?
A LOT OF THEM AREN' FULL BODY SHOTS.
RIGHT.
THEY'RE TAKEN FROM
HIGH ANGLES, TOO.
WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES.
YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR
BABY DOLL DRESSES?
BECAUSE IT HIDES
THEIR FAT ASSES.
SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES,
THEY'RE ALL TRYING
THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY
TO UNDERSTAND:
YOU'RE BEGINNING
TO GET AN IDEA:
OF HOW DECEITFUL
THE AVERAGE GIRL IS.
WE DON'T CARE
ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS.
I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OU ALL THE HOTTIES,
AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED
TO FOCUS ON.
ALL EXCITED,
BUT IF YOU WAN TO SEE THEM AGAIN,
LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE.
REALLY?
OH, YEAH.
OKAY, THE NEXT TIME
YOU BRING A GUY HOME,
I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM.
PORN-STYLE.
OHH! YEAH!
SEXY!
THAT'S IT!
THANK YOU.
AND THEN HE'LL
BE SO EXCITED.
OHH, OHH!
BUT DON'T LET HIM
PUT IT IN.
AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE,
LEAVE WITHOU GIVING YOUR NUMBER.
THAT WORKS?
OF COURSE.
THE REJECTION PLAYS
ON THEIR INSECURITIES,
AND WE ALL KNOW THA ALL MEN REALLY CARE ABOU IS TITS AND ASS.
THANK YOU.
HA HA HA!
OGLING US ALL DAY LONG
IF THEY COULD.
( laughter )
OH, MAN,
YOU GUYS CHECK THIS OUT,
IS HER ASS COMPATIBLE
WITH MY DICK?
AND WHAT THE F***
IS A CUPID SCORE, MAN?
RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT MEN
ARE DESIGNED TO DO.
GET WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN.
NOW, LOOK AT WHA THEY SAY, FIRST,
"NO PLAYERS.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A HOOKUP,
THEN MOVE ON, MISTER."
THEN WHY THE F***
IS SHE STANDING:
WITH HER TITS OUT?
RIGHT. IT'S TO GET YOU
ALL RILED UP.
AND CHECK IT,
"WHO'S KIND AND LOYAL
AND SPIRITUAL:
AND CARING:
AND AMBITIOUS."
AMBITIOUS?
DOESN'T REALLY FIT,
RIGHT?
THE ONE COMMON WORD
IN ALL THE HOTTIES.
YOU KNOW, "GENEROUS"
SEEMS TO CROP UP THE MOST.
YEAH, I'M GETTIN'
"GENEROUS" A BUNCH, TOO.
HERE'S ANOTHER ONE
RIGHT THERE.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
YOU KNOW,
THE WOMEN WE'RE AFTER
ARE MONEY-GRUBBING HOS.
GODDAMN RIGHT.
WE KNOW FROM CAVEMAN TIMES
THAT A MAN IS GENETICALLY
PREDISPOSED:
OF THREE YEARS:
BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG
IT TAKES FOR AN INFAN TO LEARN HOW TO WALK.
THEN THEY LEAVE THE CAVE
AND THE MOTHER:
TO GO SPREAD THEIR SEED
FAR AND WIDE.
IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE,
SO FORGET ABOU THAT FAIRY TALE,
GROWING OLD TOGETHER...
I LOVE FAIRY TALES.
TO SPREAD,
YEAH, WE DO!
EXACTLY. I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE
ALL COOL AND HIPSTER LOOKING.
WHAT, ARE YOU IN A BAND?
YEAH, WE GOT BEATS.
YEAH, LIKE CREEPY BEATS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF
LIKE A GOTH VIBE
WITH, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP.
YEAH, LIKE BAUHAUS
MEETS BOWWOW,
BUT LIKE MORE PALE.
ALL RIGHT, GREAT.
WITH A HINT OF:
C&C MUSIC FACTORY.
UNLESS YOU'RE
FREDDY F***ING MERCURY,
ALL THAT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
ABOUT BEING IN THE BAND
GETTING YOU LAID
DOESN'T APPLY WITH THESE CHICKS.
MAN, THESE CHICKS WERE GETTING
DICKED OVER BY BAND DUDES
WHEN YOU WERE STILL POPPING ZITS
ON YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK.
THAT'S YOU, BUDDY!
AND THEY DON'T GIVE A SHI
ABOUT YOUR "GIG"
AND YOUR CREEPY BEATS.
SO, LOOK,
GO SEE MY TAILOR--
HE'LL GET GUYS ALL SORTED OUT--
AND WE'LL GET STARTED.
I'M SORRY.
WAIT. TAILOR?
IS THIS GOING:
TO BE EXPENSIVE?
YEAH, IT'S GOING
TO BE EXPENSIVE!
THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT.
AND THIS THRIFT-STORE SHI AND THESE IRONIC T-SHIRTS--
AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE GLASSES--
DO YOU EVEN NEED THOSE GLASSES?
NO, THEY'RE NOT FOR SEEING.
IT'S FOR THE LOOK.
YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE STUPID.
AND TAKE OU THAT F***ING NOSE RING.
JESUS, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT.
AND BY GIVING A LITTLE BI TO A FEW DIFFERENT GUYS,
IF IT'S DONE WITH CLASS,
SUPPORT HERSELF.
THE BIGGER THE PAYOFF.
I NEVER REALLY THOUGH OF IT LIKE THAT.
YOU SAID IT.
OKAY, I AM SO IN.
WHERE DO WE MEET THESE GUYS?
ELLE, GRETCHEN, WHY DON'T YOU
TAKE THE NEW GIRLS OU
AND SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE?
YEAH!
OH, MY GOSH,
WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN.
( cheering )
I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH.
YOU GOT A CREDIT CARD,
DON'T YOU?
YEAH. MY MOM'S.
WELL, CHARGE IT.
LOOK, YOU GOTTA AT LEAST LOOK
SOME CASH, ALL RIGHT?
BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO SAVE UP, MAN.
I'M PAYING OFF
MY STUDENT LOANS.
LOOK, DINGLEBERRY,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RICH.
LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WAS
NIGGA, I'M BROKE.
ARE YOU OKAY, YVONNE?
IS THERE ANYTHING
NOT REALLY.
ANYTHING YOU'RE
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH?
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO
NO. WHY?
YOU'D BE SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE
IF YOU JUST GOT SOME B*OBS.
I LIKE MY B*OBS!
I KNOW, DEAR,
BUT THEY'LL CHANGE
YOUR LIFE.
LOCK IT IN.
YOU GOT IT LOCKED IN,
( choking )
CIRCULATION TO HIS BRAIN.
THAT'S GOOD.
BONES, GOOD JOB.
THANKS.
THANKS A LOT, JOHNNY.
THANKS, JOHNNY.
YEAH, NO PROBLEM, GUYS.
VERY PRETTY.
FAGGOTS.
COME ON, MAN.
IS THIS THE ONLY REASON
YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE
NO. IT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON.
I GOT YOUR MESSAGE
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
NOW WHAT HAPPENED.
IT WENT PRETTY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO THE VELVET,
YOU KNOW, WE MET THESE CHICKS,
WE WAS BUYING THEM DRINKS,
THEY WAS FEELING
OUR NEW FLY GEAR AND SH*T...
AND MY HAIR.
YEAH, WE EVEN DEFENDED
THEM FROM THIS DUDE
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"Hollywood Sex Wars" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 22 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hollywood_sex_wars_10073>.
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