Hollywood Sex Wars Page #7
OWNING YOUR INNER PIG.
Woman:
STILL UPSET ABOU THE FIGHT WITH JOHNNY.CAME HOME AND GOT DRUNK AND HAD
SEX WITH MY NEIGHBOR FRANK.
IT FELT GREAT.
I'M SO GLAD
NEVER READ:
YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DIARY.
GIRLS LIKE A TAKE-CHARGE GUY.
WHAT YOU WANT,
TELL HER YOU'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR A GIRLFRIEND UPFRONT,
AND SHE CAN'T NEVER ACCUSE YOU
OF BEING AN A**HOLE.
( moans )
YES, JOHNNY...
OH, THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S GOOD. AHH!
RIGHT THERE.
OHH! NO!
WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR?
WHAT THE F***?
THAT'S WEIRD.
I JUST WAXED YESTERDAY.
NO, THIS IS NOT YOUR PUBE.
YOUR P*SSY'S BALD!
THAT WAS--NEVER MIND.
NEVER GO DOWN:
ON A STRIPPER YOU JUST MET.
DOUBLE-BOOKING B*TCH.
ALTHOUGH GIRLS WANT TO F***
AND DO DRUGS,
THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.
I MEAN, THEY WANT TO GET DOWN,
"TRICKED" INTO IT.
THIS IS RETARDED.
BE STRAIGHT UP:
AND HONEST WITH THEM,
THEM INTO IT?
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND
LIKE IT'S A BAD THING.
AND HIGH FOR FREE.
YEAH. THEY SHOULD
BE THANKING US.
YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS.
I'M GOING TO SEE
MY GIRLFRIEND.
THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL I "COMMITTED," AARON.
YOU'RE GONNA BE
AT SOME PARTY, WASTED,
AND SOME HOTTIE'S
GONNA BE JOCKING YOU,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO
SLIP UP, MAN.
I'M OUT.
PFFT.
YO, MAN.
LATERS.
YOU GUYS GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS,
RIGHT?
JUST REMEMBER,
JUST BE STRAIGHT UP,
AND TELL HER,
"WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER,
BUT I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND.
NO DINNERS, VALENTINES."
SHE CAN FIND SOME OTHER SUCKER
FOR THAT.
HUH? I MEAN,
I'M SORRY, MAN.
THIS CANDY BAR:
IS KICKING IN, MAN.
I KNOW WE WAS TALKING ABOU FRUITS EARLIER, RIGHT?
I'M SORRY, MAN.
YOU TAPE-RECORDED IT?
OH, NO, THAT WAS
ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER.
I'M SORRY.
Woman:
? FOR YOU
? I'D TRAVEL
? AROUND THE WORLD
? FOR YOU
? I'D DO
? ANYTHING
? 'CAUSE YOU
? ARE EVERYTHING
? THE FEELING IS LOVE,
THE FEELING IS LOVE ?
? THE FEELING IS LOVE,
THE FEELING IS LOVE ?
? WHEN YOU'RE AROUND,
WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ?
? THE FEELING IS LOVE
HEY, HUN, I'M GONNA SPLIT.
I'M REALLY HORNY.
DON'T YOU REMEMBER
WHAT ELLE SAID?
YEAH. ELLE IS
I MEAN, LOOK,
HE'S REALLY NICE...
AND FUNNY.
WELL, I DON'T WAN TO GO HOME YET.
AND HE IS KIND OF CUTE.
SEE?
I JUST HOPE:
HE'S NOT AN A**HOLE.
YO, MAN, YOU WANNA
GO TO THIS PARTY LATER?
NO. IT'S GONNA SUCK.
IT'S JONZO'S PLACE, MAN.
YO, I'M GOING HOME
TO GET SOME ASS.
YOU SHOULD TAKE HER.
SHE'S BANGING.
MAYBE I WILL.
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WE'RE GOING
TO THIS PARTY:
JUST AS FRIENDS.
WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT WE'RE SPLITTING THIS
CAB FARE...JUST AS FRIENDS.
I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME.
SUCH AN A**HOLE?
( humming )
( deep breathing )
( moaning )
COURTNEY,
I AM YOUR FATHER.
EW, GROSS.
( laughing )
NO, BABE, IT'S JUST ME.
NO, NO, NO.
YOU HAVE TO BE THE HELPLESS
PRINCESS, REMEMBER?
YEAH, CAN YOU MAKE
THAT THING VIBRATE?
UM, SHOOT,
I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK THAT'S ONLY
THE DELUXE EDITION.
YEAH.
Johnny:
USE HER ADDICTIONSAGAINST HER.
GO AHEAD,
F*** WITH THAT ONE, TOO.
ALL RIGHT.
Johnny:
OWN YOUR INNER PIG.
HERE YOU GO.
NO, I'M GOOD.
I'VE GOT A DEADLINE.
TO CATCH UP. SO...
ARE YOU FOR REAL?
I MEAN, I JUST GOT HIGH.
IF YOU LIKE, I CAN BLOW
EVERYTHING OFF THA I GOT TO DO TOMORROW,
AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN,
BUT I GOTTA LET YOU KNOW
THAT AT SOME POINT,
WE'RE PROBABLY
GOING TO BE HIGH
AND DRUNK AND IN MY BED,
AND I'M GOING TO NEED
TO BUST A NUT.
NEED TO?
YEAH. I MEAN, I'M SORRY
FOR BEING SO HONES AND OPEN ABOUT IT,
BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT,
THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD MEE FOR COFFEE SOMETIME
AND REALLY GE TO KNOW EACH OTHER,
FINE.
FINE FOR THE NUTBUSTING?
WHATEVER.
JUST FILL UP MY DRINK, PLEASE.
DID YOU KNOW:
THAT WHEN A MAN ORGASMS
IT RELEASES A CHEMICAL
THAT'S 20 TIMES STRONGER
THAN A NORMAL SLEEPING PILL?
THIS IS SOME:
LADY AND THE TRAMP SHI RIGHT HERE.
( laughing )
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.
YOU'VE BEEN FLAGGED
ON THE DATERBASE.
NOBODY HAS TO KNOW.
WHAT'S A DATERBASE?
JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME.
OH, YEAH. OH.
OH, YEAH.
( crickets chirping,
owl hooting )
GET THAT OUTFIT?
THANK YOU.
IT'S MY APRON.
LAST NIGH:
SO I COULD COOK:
YOU BREAKFAS IN THE MORNING.
BABY, DO YOU WANNA
GO TO THE ZOO?
YES! I LOVE THE ZOO.
ANIMALS ARE MY FAVORITE.
OH, ME TOO. THAT'S PERFECT.
IT'S A DONE DEAL.
WE'RE DOING IT.
UM, BABE, CHECK OUT MY...
TROUSER ELEPHANT.
HA HA HA.
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME
PULL ITS TRUNK?
( elephant trumpets )
TO BREAKFAST?
( laughs ) BREAKFAST?!
AIN'T NO BREAKFAST,
BABY.
I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT.
RIGHT?
YEAH. EVENTUALLY.
HEY, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH MY PERFORMANCE.
THAT WAS THE COKE.
ANYWAYS, IF WANT SOMEBODY
TO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER
ALL THE TIME:
AND CALL YOU UP EVERY DAY,
THAT AIN'T ME.
THAT'S BOYFRIEND
TERRITORY.
LOOK, I'M JUST HUNGRY.
YOU DON'T GOTTA BE
SUCH AN A**HOLE.
IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING
TO SOME A**HOLE SCHOOL
OR SOMETHING.
PSHH. WHATEVER.
DICK.
Johnny:
IF SHE'S ASKINGTAKE A TWENTY OUT OF HER PURSE
WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM
IT'S NOT STEALING
HEY, AARON,
THOUGHT YOU'D BE
MARRIED OFF BY NOW.
UM, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL.
IT COULD HAPPEN.
UH, JUST KEEPING
YEAH,
WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAX?
HOW'S IT GOING?
OH, MAN,
SH*T WENT PERFECT, YO.
IT'S JUST ONE THING,
THOUGH, MAN...
SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WITH THE COKE:
AND THE CONDOMS, MAN...
I KIND OF HAD A LITTLE BI OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.
REALLY?
ALL YOU NEED IS...
ONE OF THESE.
WHAT'S THAT, MAN?
UGH. DUDE,
WHY'S IT ALL SLIPPERY?
WHAT IS THAT?
THAT'S JUST LUBE.
IT'S MY COCK RING.
OHH!
WHAT THE F***!
ARE YOU KIDDING?
GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU,
AND IT ALWAYS,
ALWAYS GET'S ME OFF.
YO, I PUT THAT SHI ON MY NOSE, YO!
AND WHAT THE F***
IS "TURGID"?
"TURGID" MEANS HARD.
HOW DUMB ARE YOU?
"GIRL, YOU GOT MY DICK TURGID."
AND I KNOW WITH:
ALL THE ALCOHOL:
AND THE DRUGS,
SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH,
OF THESE BABIES AROUND.
THOSE ARE LIKE 50 BUCKS
EACH. EVERY TIME?
JESUS, FUCKFACE.
LOOK, YOU GENTLY
GOOD AS NEW.
OH, YEAH. ECONOMICAL.
YEAH,
BUT WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS?
MAN, I HATE CONDOMS, MAN.
IT'S LIKE EATING A SNICKERS
WITH THE WRAPPER ON.
LOOK, THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES
F*** THAT.
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"Hollywood Sex Wars" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 22 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/hollywood_sex_wars_10073>.
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