Hollywood Sex Wars Page #9

THE THREE ONE HOES?

THE LOS FELIZ LESBOS?

WHO KNOWS?

BUT BY SACRIFICING

ONE OF OUR OWN,

THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE

THAT WE WE'RE NO PLAYING AROUND.

SOMETHING ABOUT THIS

SEEMS FAMILIAR.

IS IT A MAN,

A PLAYER OUT FOR REVENGE?

SLICE, GRETCHEN, ELLE,

I WANT YOU TO HIT THE STREETS.

TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE,

BUST SOME BALLS...

SUCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO,

BUT FIND OU WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS.

WE WILL.

GOOD.

THEN TASSELING IN,

NEXT SATURDAY,

YVONNE WILL GET HER B*OBS,

COURTNEY WILL BE BACK

IN THE GANG,

AND THESE FOOLS WILL RUE

THE DAY THAT THEY CROSSED US.

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

NIGHT OF THE LONG NAILS.

( cheering )

WHY ARE WE DRINKING BRANDY?

'CAUSE CHURCHILL

USED TO DRINK IT.

OH, YEAH. THAT JAMAICAN GUY

YOU USED TO DATE.

HE WAS SO HOT.

LOVED HIM.

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

AND? LOOK, ALL I KNOW

IS THAT IT WORKS,

AND YOUR CLIENTS

LOVE IT, RIGHT?

THEY'RE PATIENTS.

YES, THE RESULTS

ARE IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU.

BUT BEFORE YOU GO,

YOU'RE A BIT OF

LADIES MAN, RIGHT?

YEAH, I HAVE MY MOMENTS.

I HAVE A BIT OF:

A PROBLEM HERE.

EVERY NOW AND THEN

I MEET A GIRL:

THAT I LIKE,

ONE THAT SEEMS ALMOS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE,

THEN I DO SOME WORK ON HER,

AND SHE DISAPPEARS.

MM-HMM. SO YOU THINK

YOU'RE BEING PLAYED?

NOT SURE, BUT THERE IS

THIS ONE GIRL...

SHE'S VERY NICE TO ME.

TOO NICE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,

HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO...

IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

OH, IT'S SO GOOD

TO SEE YOU, TOO, BABY.

YOU'RE HUNGRY RIGHT?

I AM STARVING.

I LOVE THIS PLACE.

I AM SO HAPPY:

THAT YOU PICKED IT.

WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU

AT THE MEETINGS.

OH, MY GOD,

I MISS YOU GUYS, TOO!

STOP.

NOW THERE'S AN ARMY OF TWO.

TAKE CARE OF THEM, SUGAR.

OKAY.

AND YOU, LET'S SEE

THOSE PRIVATES ON PARADE.

I LIKE HOW YOU'RE

SHOWCASING THAT P*SSY.

LOOKIN' GOOD.

( spanks )

WHOA. THAT SKIRT'S

WAY TOO LONG.

COME ON.

BE ALL YOU CAN BE.

LET'S SEE THESE.

THE NIPPLES ARE JUS RIGHT AT THE EDGE.

GOOD, SHOW THOSE GIRLS OFF.

FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE.

ARE YOU READY:

FOR YOUR MISSION?

DA, GRETCHEN.

HANDLE IT.

I SEE YOU BROUGHT OU THE BIG GUNS.

SHAKE THOSE BABIES.

SLICE MY GLAMAZON.

TURN AROUND.

LET'S TIGHTEN UP THAT T-BACK.

IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE.

EXCELLENT JOB, GRETCHEN.

THANK YOU.

LET ME SEE THOSE TEARS.

( crying )

TOO MUCH?

NO, EXCELLENT.

IT'S TIME FOR ME

TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS

COURTNEY SITUATION.

WENDY, YOU KNOW YOU DON' NEED TO DO THIS, RIGHT?

YOU'RE MY SISTERS.

I COULDN'T ASK YOU

TO DO ANYTHING:

I WOULDN'T DO MYSELF.

THIS IS WAR...

AND WE'RE THE SEX BOMBS.

( crying )

I'M SORRY,

ARE YOU OK?

NO. MY PHONE DIED,

AND I REALLY NEED

TO SEND AN EMAIL,

OR MY BOSS IS:

GONNA FIRE ME.

THAT'S OKAY.

I LIVE RIGHT HERE.

YOU CAN TOTALLY:

USE MY COMPUTER.

REALLY?

OF COURSE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU

FIXED MY TRANSMISSION?

WELL, I'M PREGNANT.

I DON'T WAN A KID WITH YOU.

ME NEITHER.

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

MY WIFE IS UPSTAIRS.

WELL, I SUGGEST YOU TELL HER

TO COME DOWN HERE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I'M PREGNANT.

SHH!

SO, ANYWAY, I NEED MONEY

TO TAKE CARE OF THIS.

NO, NO, NO. YOU SAID

TO ME THAT YOU ARE USING

CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS.

UGH, AZIS, I TOLD YOU,

IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK

ALL THE TIME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT'S NOT MY BABY.

I GOT SIX WHITE B*TCHES

ON DECK RIGHT NOW.

I GOT BABY MOMMA'S

FROM HERE TO DETROIT.

YOU AIN'T SAYING NOTHING.

HOW MUCH TO SUCK IT OUT?

WANNA SPLIT IT?

OKAY.

JONZO?

YEAH?

JONZO, CAN I TALK TO YOU?

WE'RE KIND OF BUSY HERE.

WELL, CAN YOU TAKE FIVE,

'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT.

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE

OF REHEARSAL.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ME?

UM...YEAH.

THE BATHROOM:

AT THE BURGUNDY?

YEAH, THE F***ING BATHROOM

AT THE BURGUNDY.

I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M PREGNANT,

THAT'S HOW I'M DOING.

PREGNANT?

THIS IS GOOD NEWS.

THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD.

NO, ACTUALLY,

A GIFT FROM YOU.

$450. WELL,

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING,

DO YOU THINK WE COULD

WORK SOMETHING OUT?

SH*T, YOU WANNA F***

WITH MISS KIM RIGHT THERE

ON CRENSHAW AND FLORENCE.

HOW THE HELL:

DO YOU KNOW IT'S MINE?

'CAUSE YOU CAME IN ME!

I F***ING REMEMBER

THAT NIGHT.

I ASKED IF I COULD COME,

YOU SAID YES, I COULD COME.

ON MY TITS!

FOUR HUNDRED:

AND F***ING FIFTY DOLLARS!

I DON'T HAVE

THAT MONEY ON ME.

YOU SHOULD SAY THAT.

WHAT THE F*** AM I

SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT?

SHE GOT THIS NAIL SALON

OUT FRONT, RIGHT,

BUT YOU GO TO THE BACK,

SHE GOT THE ABORTION CLINIC.

COME ON.

GET THE HELLS:

FROM OUT OF HERE.

GET YOUR NAILS DONE

AT THE SAME TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

PEDICURE, JUMP OFF,

EVERYTHING.

IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

HE'S A FERTILE

LITTLE F***ER, OKAY?

YOU'RE PREGNANT?

SH*T. YOU THINK I GO THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAID

FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT?

F***! F***!

AFTER THAT NIGHT,

I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN

TAKING THE TRAIN,

BUT THAT'S NO WHAT I'M HERE ABOUT.

YOU SEE, I'M PREGNANT.

DON'T BE UPSET, DARLING.

THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS.

YOU CAN MOVE IN WITH ME.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE

LOTS OF CHILDREN,

BIG FAMILY, STRONG SONS.

I GOTTA GO.

I'VE HAD THIS ONE FANTASY

FOR THE LONGEST TIME.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT.

OH, COME F***ING ON!

( sighs )

MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS.

YOU KNOW,

IT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL.

JUST SAYING.

THANK GOD.

( sighs )

I NEED A DRINK.

DO YOU HAVE ANY VODKA?

YEAH.

YEAH?

YEAH, LET ME

GO GET SOME.

AND, YOU KNOW,

WE LOVE YOU TO DEATH,

AND IF ANYTHING:

WERE TO HAPPEN,

YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS

COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS,

AND WE'D ALWAYS

BE THERE FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

MEMORY FOAM.

I LOVE IT.

YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE

ON A GOOD NIGHT IN BED.

DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE?

NO. NO, NO, NO.

BY ALL MEANS.

LET ME:

GO GET AN ASHTRAY.

HEY.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

I'M ALL RIGHT,

BUT, I DON'T KNOW,

I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS

ONE IS BIGGER.

YOU CAN'T TELL ANYTHING

UNTIL THE CAST IS OFF.

THEY'RE GONNA LOOK

SO HOT.

THEY'LL SETTLE IN SOON,

CUTIE.

YOU PROMISE?

MM-HMM.

OKAY, YOU GUYS,

LET'S GET THIS SHOW

ON THE ROAD.

HEY, MAX. YEAH.

PUT HIM ON SPEAKER.

YEAH.

Max:
I WAS THINKING WE COULD

HANG OUT TONIGHT, BABE.

YOU KNOW WHAT,

I WAS THINKING:

THE EXACT SAME THING.

ALL RIGHT, SO, YEAH,

YOU KNOW, WE'LL MEET UP,

AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN

TONIGHT, BABY.

MOTHERF***ER,

I CAN'T BELIEVE

THIS DOUCHEBAG.

OH, WAIT, CAN YOU BRING

YOUR FRIEND GLEN?

OH, YEAH, I'LL BRING HIM.

I'M LOOKING AT HIS BIG ASS NOW,

MAKING A TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICH.

Jasmine:

OKAY, BIG KISS.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S JASMINE?

YVONNE'S FRIEND?

THAT'S

A DANGEROUS GAME, MAN.

NAH, MAN, LOOK,

ACTUALLY IT'S COOL

BECAUSE YVONNE'S

IN THE HOSPITAL:

GETTING HER TITS DONE.

NICE ROTATION, BRO.

AND SHE'S BRINGING

A FRIEND JUST FOR YOU!

WHAT?!

YEAH, MAN!

YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL.

WHAT COLOR IS THAT?

I'M A DIRTY BLONDE.

OHH. HEY, WOULD YOU

LIKE ANOTHER DRINK?

I CAN'T TONIGHT, SWEETIE.

IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH.

NO, NO, NO. I DIDN' EVEN MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.

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