Holy Matrimony Page #3

Nobody wants to kick you out, | but we have no choice.

As an outsider, you are | not allowed to remain here.

I know this seems harsh, | but it is the best.

The Hutterite way of life, | Havana, is not for you.

So I have to leave now | with this $100?

I'm sorry.

EzekielJakobson, it falls to you to perform | the duty of the brother-in-law. Ask her.

Let us get this | done with.

But, Uncle Wilhelm, I'm only | 12 years old. I still hate girls.

- L-I'd much prefer a frog... | - Don't disgrace yourself in the eyes of God!

- Ask her, please. | - But I'd make a bad husband.

- Don't make me do this. | - You must, child!

It's the Lord's rules. | You must please Him.

Um... | [Sighs]

Uh... will you... | Will you, um...

- Do you wanna... | - Go ahead, Ezekiel.

- Go ahead. | - Do you wanna... [Panting]

Do you... wanna marry... | [Panting]

You-You know what I mean. | I can't... I can't breathe. I can't breathe!

[Chuckles] You guys have been out | in the sun for too long.

You marry... | [Gasping]

Do you wanna marry me | or not, you dumb pig?

[Chuckles] | Guys, I admit...

this is one goofy twist | on the whole boy-girl thing...

but let's not throw the baby out | with the bathwater, okay?

[Chuckles] If you would have told me | out on the street that the Bible...

is the happening book that I now think it is, | you could've knocked me over with a feather.

[Giggles] | But, guys, I have seen the light.

I have been saved. So, if the only way | I could stick around here...

and soak up more of this religion stuff | is to get hitched to the little midget...

then count me in, honey.

My answer is yes.

- [Crashes] | - [Havana Chuckles] | I'll marry the little brat...

but that little fainting trick | has got to go.

- How can we allow this? | - It's not our place to challenge the Lord!

We do not believe that our brother colonies | would be so literal to the written word.

- We will be ridiculed! | - This is correct!

- None of them will believe us! | - No one will.

- There must be something. | - The Bible doesn't say | anything about children!

- We must not do this! | - [Everyone Talking At Once]

My people! | My people!

If we begin to question | the wisdom of the Bible now...

where do we start | and when do we stop?

Stop it!

[Crowd Muttering]

[Wilhelm] Begehrst di diese | Schwester gern anzunehmen as | eine Gabe van dem Hemm?

- Do you accept this sister | as a gift from the Lord? | - I do.

[Crowd Muttering]

Begehrst du ihn in allen goetilchen Dingen | gehorsan zu sein, Damit Eines den andern...

eine Ursach zum Gutten | und zur Gottseligkeit sine moechte?

Will you be obedient to your husband | in all spiritual matters...

and will you encourage | each other to live godly lives?

Ja, I do.

[Giggling]

It's done. | You may kiss the bride.

I'd rather kiss a goat.

Ezekiel, you may | kiss the bride... now!

- Do it for me! | - Ezekiel.!

Ezek... Eze...

[Children Giggling]

- Do you know what to do, big guy? | - [Laughing]

- Don't get her too excited. | - [Laughing]

- If you need any help, let me know. | - Do a good job, lover boy.

Lover boy.

- [Laughing] | - Lover boy.

Shh, shh, shh.

[Sighs]

[Boy's Voices] | Nighty-night, lover boy.

- Oh, yeah. | - [Chuckling]

[Ezekiel] Take off your garments, | o'woman of mine.!

Shh.

Let me show you | what a real man is.!

[Mattress Moving, | Ezekiel Moaning]

Havana, stop it, | you're breaking the bed.!

[Moaning Continues]

Oh, Havana, | stop it, stop it.

[Moaning Continues]

Stop!

Shh.

- Shh. | - [Moaning Continues]

- Honey, I'm home. | - [Boy] I'm home, lover boy.

[Boys Laughing]

[Sighs]

Leave me alone!

6:
00 in the | goddamn morning.

Stop swearing! We have to go | to church. We awaken with the Lord.

- Well, I sleep later than He does. | - [Knocking Continues]

Get away from my door!

We have to go. | You're going to get me in trouble.

- Let's go. I'm ready. | - [Screaming]

Oh!

Well, don't do that | again then!

[Door Closes]

[People Singing | In Hutterite German]

[Wilhelm] | Love one another as God loves you.

- May peace be with you. | - [All] Amen.

[People Chattering]

[Boy] I can't right now. | I have to finish homework.

Ezekiel. | Ezekiel.

Perhaps your wife is not present this morning | because she doesn't enjoy my sermons.

Oh, no, Uncle Wilhelm, | I tried to make her attend...

- but she is more stubborn than our animals. | - Uh-huh.

You know when a man is married, | a woman becomes his responsibility.

You must teach her our ways. You have | taken the vows of holy matrimony.

You are her husband.

You are her comforter, her example, | her faith, her friend, her protector...

her ally.

Her joy is your joy.

And her failings | are your failings.

Yes, but... | she's bigger than me.

Oh. Yeah, but... | God will provide.

And like all of us, | she has duties.

You will see that she attends | to your lawn; it needs cutting.

The flower bed | needs weeding.

Etcetera, | etcetera.

Yes... Uncle Wilhelm.

[Banging]

[People Chattering]

[Banging Continues]

- Havana! | - What?

Uncle Wilhelm says you have to | mow the lawn and weed the flower bed.

Tell him I need a manicure | and a pedicure!

You have duties to attend to! | You're my wife!

And cover your head. Your hair's | not supposed to be showing.

- What are you looking for? | - Nothing.

Then what were you | doing in there?

Looking for a rope to hang myself with. | Now leave me alone.

Will you at least | weed the flower bed, please?

I like weeds.

Look, I'm sorry | about these mood swings.

I'm working on it, | okay?

It's just that I would feel a lot better | if I had a cigarette.

We don't have any.

I know, but... Peter hid mine somewhere. | Do you have any idea where he could | have hid them?

Don't you guys have | a secret hiding place or something?

[Sighs]

You should be doing this. | This is your work.

Getting an even tan is hard work too, | so don't knock it.

I don't think | our marriage is working.

Well, then we got something in common | with every married couple in America.

How do you stand | the heat in those clothes?

We sweat.

I, uh... I found this | in the flower bed.

Looks American.

I guess Peter | must've dropped it.

Hey, this isn't fair, | you doing all my chores.

Why don't you come inside and | take a rest and I'll take over.

- Are you sure? | - Positive.

Okay.

[Grunts]

[Grunts]

[Screams]

Yes!

[Panting] | I see it.

[Grunting]

[Gasps]

[Panting]

[Gasps, | Groans]

Don't screw with me, kid! Peter was | giving the rest of that money to me!

Where's the rest of it? | I want my money and I want it now!

I'm your husband. Uncle Wilhelm | said you are to do as I tell you!

Who's gonna make me? You? | You're gonna make me, all 60 pounds of you?

If you don't start behaving like a proper wife, | I'm feeding all that money to the hogs!

Over my... | dead body!

You're only | making it sound better.

Come here! | Come back here!

If you do as you're told, | maybe I will give you the money.

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