Holy Matrimony Page #5

She's gone | with her new husband.

New husband? She | didn't waste any time.

Ezekiel was Peter's brother. | That's our way.

Ah. True love. | It's a beautiful thing.

Where'd the lovebirds go?

They've gone into America | to return the money.

The money?

- It didn't burn? | - No, it's safe.

Have the Mounties | been here?

No.

Should I contact them?

Definitely not, padre. | Hell, I'm the man you're looking for.

The final man.

The final man is good... | very, very good.

Why can't we just sleep | in the truck?

I'm through sleeping | in things with wheels.

[People Chattering]

I've never seen anything | like this before.

There are people swimming | in the fishing pond.

It's a pool. And if you like it so much, | you can sleep in it, okay.

But go get me | my room first.

Can't we share? | It'd be cheaper if we shared.

Fine, we'll share. | Make sure it has soft beds.

Good-bye. | See you later. Good-bye.

[Woman Over P.A.] | Mr. Stevens to the office, please.

Mr. Stevens, please come | to the office.

- Hello. | - What do you want?

We'd like to | share your room.

- Say that again. | - My wife and I, we'd like | to share your room, please.

- Our what? | - She said as long as there was | a soft bed it'd be all right.

- Oh, my Lord! | - This seems fine, I guess.

Get out of here, | you little weirdo!

- Out! Out! | - But...

- [Door Closes] | - [Whistling]

[Whistling Continues] | Hey, yoo-hoo.

Here's the key.

There's our room. | Good-bye.

Where are you going?

Well, I'm going to meet | an old friend of mine.

Jack... Daniels.! | Whoo-hoo!

[Laughing] | Leave the door unlocked.

I do love her outfit.

- If you want to do it, go and do it! | - Okay.

- You're going to do it anyway, right? | - Yeah.

So go, go on! | Go on and do it.

You don't have to yell, Harry.

Women. Hmph.

Let me give you some advice, | never get married.

I know exactly | what you mean.

Beforehand, | they treat you like a king.

After you make that big mistake, | they treat you like a dog.

All the time, | they're just interested in one thing.

You know what that | one thing is, don't you?

- The money. | - Damn straight!

My new husband... | we just don't fit.

I mean, every time I find a man, | it's the wrong one...

and this latest one, well, | he just comes up pretty short.

About four feet tall.

Am I too short too?

No! Uh-uh!

- You look about right. Mm-hmm. | - Really?

My name's Link.

- And it would be, wouldn't it? | - [Chuckling]

Well, my name... is Marilyn.

Marilyn.

Can I buy you a drink... | Marilyn?

Havana, we took vows!

Zeke, go back to the room. | We'll discuss this later.

- Who's the half-pint? | - I'm this woman's husband!

Whoa. What's | going on here?

"Walk in the spirit, and ye shall | not fulfill the lust of the flesh."

Zeke.

You may be my husband...

but I am still your elder, | so go back to our room.

Maybe you didn't marry me, | Havana, but I married you!

Remember that!

- So you're baby-sittin' | or somethin', is that it? | - Or something.

- I gotta go. | - What?

Come on now, hold on, gorgeous. | We're not done yet.

- Yes, I am. | - Wait. Now, come...

[Ezekiel] Next to murder, you have | committed the worst sin there is.!

And I'm married to it.

What does he have | that I don't?

Nothing... | but 20 hard years.

Strong arms. | Kisses great.

It was the usual | bar pickup stuff.

But what about the real husband stuff? | What about that?

What is that?

Can you trust him?

Does he pray?

Is he kind to plants | and animals?

Is his word golden?

Isn't this what a real | husband's supposed to be?

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[Toilet Flushes]

Wait.

Come here.

Please.

Have you ever done...

anything really rotten?

Anything that | you're really ashamed of?

Sure. A lot.

Like what? | [Chuckles]

Well, when I first met you...

I wanted you to die.

Oh, that's not so bad.

I've wanted to die myself... | more times than not.

But I don't want you... | to die now.

Really?

Really! Really, really.

Why are you crying?

It's just...

a husband like you | doesn't come along every day.

Is that good or bad?

Oh, Zeke...

any woman's gonna be lucky | to nab you.

Well...

I'm not that good.

What about...

What about | the mating part?

Oh, well...

that's not all | that it's cracked up to be.

So... we don't have | to do that part?

No.

You just wait...

until you're with somebody you can | love with all your heart.

[Car Horn Honking]

Do you see this line?

Do you see this badge?

Any Hutterites crossed here | in the last 12 hours?

- Yeah. A kid and his wife. | - Name of EzekielJakobson by any chance?

- Something like that. | - Well, I'll be damned! She married a kid!

Yeah. | It takes all kinds.

Okay, here you go.

Wir batten Dich, Herr Gott Himmlischer | vater segne diese deine Gaben.

Die wir von Deiner | reichen milden Hand.

Zu nus nehum und empfagen wereden Durch. | Jesum Christem. Amen

- Amen. | - [Woman] Amen.

[Whispering] I was thinking. | We could split the money.

What would I do | with money?

Just think about this. | Okay?

We could go away somewhere for a week | just like two pals hanging out.

Then, after that, I'd make sure | you'd get home safe and sound.

- But what about returning the money? | - Zeke!

The fair doesn't need that money. They | make more money than that every day.

Nobody will ever know.

It'll be like | our little secret.

- Deal? | - We cannot do that.

- Zeke! | - "Lead me not into temptation."

- Don't you want more? | - More ice cream?

More everything!

I have everything.

Don't you want to do something | that would make you important, famous?

Wouldn't you want the whole | world to know who you are?

Well, God knows who I am.

And I know who God is.

And God knows the world.

So it's kinda like | I know the world, right?

And that's enough for you?

Ja... with a lot left over.

Um...

Fine. I'm going | to the bathroom.

Look! It's a helicopter.

Excuse me. Miss?

You know that little boy? Can you | make sure he gets to the bus station?

Give him a piece of pie and in here | are exact directions where he's going.

If he faints, give him a little nudge. | He'll pop up like a turnover.

Don't screw it up.

Keep your eyes | on the damn ball!

[Radio] | I'm on my way

Never know where I'm goin' | Just takin'it day by day

Day by day

[Radio Off]

[Speaking | Hutterite German]

Hey, kid...

any chance | you're EzekielJakobson?

I am.

[Chuckles] | Well, how you doin'?

- Who are you? | - I'm an old friend of Havana's. Where is she?

- She deserted me. | - Oh.

That's a nasty habit. | Why don't we go find her?

Have you ever been left by a wife?

[Chuckles] | That's your first mistake, son.

You put a ring | around a woman's finger...

she'll put a tighter one | around your ba... Around your nose.

There she is!

Okay, kid, | what do you wanna do?

"Now the wicked must eat | the fruit of their own way."

All right, kid, | let me show you America.

Oh, for chrissakes!

F.B.I.!

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