Home Alone Page #2

I'm sorry.

It's too late. Get upstairs.

Everyone in this family hates me!

Then ask Santa for a new family.

I don't want a new family. I don't

want any family. Families suck!

Stay up there. I don't want

to see you again tonight.

I don't want to see you

for the rest of my life.

I don't want to see

anybody else either.

I hope you don't mean that.

You'd feel pretty sad if you woke up

and didn't have a family.

No, I wouldn't.

Then say it again.

Maybe it'll happen.

I hope I never see any

of you jerks again!

I wish they would all just disappear.

- Where are they?

- I don't know. She said 8 sharp.

Peter!

We slept in!

Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy.

I live across the street.

You guys going out of town?

We're going to Florida.

Well, first we're going to Missouri

to pick up my grandma.

You know the McCallisters

are going to France?

Do you know if it's cold?

- Do these vans get good mileage?

- Kid, I don't know. Hit the road!

Do a head count.

Get everyone in the vans.

Where are the passports?

I put them in the microwave to dry.

How fast does this go?

Does it have automatic transmission?

Does it have 4-wheel drive?

Look, I told you before, kid.

Don't bother me. Now, beat it!

Line up in front of the van.

- Line up and shut up!

- Wow!

Shut up!

I need a head count.

One, two, three...

Eleven, 92, 12...

Buzz, don't be a moron.

Six, seven, eight...

...nine, 10, 11.

Okay, half in this van,

half in this one. Let's go.

Have a good trip.

Bring me back something French.

There's no way we'll make this plane.

It leaves in 45 minutes.

Think positive!

You be positive.

I'll be realistic.

Excuse me, your power is fixed...

...but the phones are a mess.

It'll take a couple of days to fix...

...especially around the holidays.

- Thanks.

Did you count heads?

Eleven, including me.

Five boys, six girls,

two drivers...

...and a partridge in a pear tree.

Hold the plane!

- Did we miss it?

- You just made it.

Single seats only in coach.

Take whatever's free.

I get a window seat!

- Kids are in coach, we're first class.

- Seats Four A and B.

Four A and B. I'll take your coats.

- Fasten your seat belts.

- Champagne, please.

- It's free, isn't it?

- Oh, yes.

We made it.

Do you believe it?

Hope we didn't forget anything.

Mom?

- That's real. It's real crystal.

- Yeah, so?

- Put them in your purse.

- Frank, I can't do that.

Just... Put them in your purse!

Yeah. Fill it up.

Fill it up.

Fill it up, please.

Thank you.

Don't you feel like a heel, flying

first class with the kids in coach?

No. The kids are fine.

The only time I ever flew as a kid was

in the station wagon, not to France.

We had to go to Aunt Laura

and Uncle Arthur's.

Kids are okay. They're having

the time of their lives.

Hello?

Mom?

Dad?

Where are you guys?

Buzz?

Megan?

Hello?

Rod?

Uncle Frank?

Uncle Frank, is this a joke?

Megan? Linnie?

Is this a joke?

It's only my imagination.

Only my imagination.

The cars are still here.

They didn't go to the airport!

I made my family disappear.

You're completely helpless.

You know, Kevin...

... you're what the French call

les incompetents.

Kevin, I'm going to feed you

to my tarantula.

Kevin, you are such a disease.

There are 15 people, and you're

the only one who has to make trouble.

Look what you did, you little jerk!

I made my family disappear.

I'm free!

Wow!

No clothes on anybody.

Sickening!

Cool! Firecrackers!

I'll save these for later.

Buzz, I'm going through

all your private stuff.

You better come out and pound me!

Buzz, your girlfriend! Woof!

Who is it?

It's me. Snakes.

I got the stuff.

Leave it on the doorstep

and get the hell out of here.

All right, Johnny,

but what about my money?

What money?

A.C. Said you had some dough for me.

Is that a fact?

How much do I owe you?

A.C. Said ten percent.

Too bad A.C. Ain't in charge no more.

Guys, I'm eating junk

and watching rubbish!

You better come out and stop me!

He'll call you when he gets out.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna

give you.

I'm gonna give you to

the count of ten...

... to get your ugly, yellow...

... no-good keister off my property...

... before I pump your guts

full of lead.

All right, I'm sorry.

I'm going.

One, two... ten.

Keep the change,

you filthy animal.

Mom!

What's the matter?

Honey?

I have a terrible feeling.

About what?

That we didn't do something.

You feel that way because

we left in a hurry.

We took care of everything.

Did I turn off the coffee?

No.

I did.

Did you lock up?

Yeah.

Did you close the garage?

That's it.

I forgot to close the garage.

That's it.

No, that's not it.

What else could we be forgetting?

Kevin!

The captain's doing all he can.

Your phones are out of order.

We'll call when we land.

I'm sure it's okay.

Horrible. Horrible.

Just horrible.

How could we do this?

We forgot him.

We didn't forget him,

we just miscounted.

What kind of mother am I?

If it makes you feel any better,

I forgot my reading glasses.

Five families gone

on one block alone.

They all told me from their

own mouths.

It's almost too easy.

Check it out:

All the houses with nobody home...

...have automatic timers

on their lights.

But I got it all figured out.

Watch this.

Number 664 will be going on

right about...

...now.

Wait, wait, wait.

Number 682...

...right now.

Wait a minute.

...now.

And that's the one, Marvin.

That's the silver tuna.

It's very G.

Very G, huh? It's loaded.

It's got lots of top-flight goods.

- Stereos, VCRs...

- Toys?

Probably looking at some

very fine jewelry.

Possible cash horde.

Odd marketable securities.

Who knows? It's a gem.

Grab your crowbar.

Crowbars up.

You're a rotter,

Mr. Grinch

You're the king

Of sinful sots

Your heart's a dead tomato

Blotched with moldy purple spots,

Mr. Grinch

Which way?

We'll go around back,

down the basement.

- You said they were gone.

- They were gonna leave today.

Let's get out of here.

We have to use the phone, please.

It's an emergency.

We really have to make a call.

Please! Our brother's home alone.

Give us the phone!

I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm calling the police.

Book us a flight home.

Get change out of here.

Call everybody you know.

Here's my address book. You and Frank

call everyone on our street.

Maybe somebody can help us.

Hello? Hello?

Oh, she'll have to call you back.

This is ridiculous.

Only a wimp would be

hiding under a bed.

And I can't be a wimp.

I'm the man of the house.

Hey, I'm not afraid anymore!

I said, I'm not afraid anymore!

Do you hear me?

I'm not afraid anymore.

Village police department.

I'm calling from Paris.

I have a son who's home alone.

I'd like somebody to go there. Tell

him that we're coming home to get him.

Okay, let me connect you

with Family Crisis Intervention.

Hold on.

Larry, can you pick up?

There's some hyper lady on hold.

- What line, Rose?

- Two.

Family Crisis Intervention,

Sergeant Balzac.

I'm calling from Paris.

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