Home Movie Page #3

How about that?

I know you don't generally have

ice cream before you go to school,

but today's an exception.

Our kids don't deserve

ice cream right now.

They deserve a lecture

from their father

because what they did was wrong.

I know you're right. I've been

thinking about that.

Here's what I thought.

Why don't we make a movie?

Spend more family time together?

John, Paul...

and George.

Sorry, Ringo!

Come on, guys, let's go!

Perfectly decent Christmas trees just

waiting for us to put an axe in them!

There you go.

#It's chilly #

#Scarf on... #

oh, please!

Who loves you?

Do you love me? Hmm?

#Sleep in heavenly peace... #

Ruh-roh.

What are you guys saying?

Doing that thing they do.

I don't like that thing.

It's like their own language.

Stop that, okay?

Can you show me what

you're drawing?

You guys, secrets aren't nice.

Honey, secrets are essential.

Our children work

for the Honduras CIA Task Force.

Where am I turning?

I don't know,

just turn up there somewhere.

- Shouldn't there be a sign?

- I don't know.

We live in the middle

of the woods, we don't need a sign

- to tell us where the trees are.

- Okay, I just farted.

Ho ho ho!

Hey hey!

No running with the saw!

Christmas tree farm!

- How could you let Jack carry a saw?

- Trees of all sizes!

I carried a saw.

My dad let me when I was 10 years old.

- It's like a coming-of-age thing.

- It's dangerous.

Hey, how 'bout this one?

That tree's, like, anorexic.

- You're a pastor.

- "American Idol," look out.

#The first noel #

#The angels did sing... #

That's almost kind of scary.

#La la la la la la la #

#You're my everything. #

"And Cain...

and Cain said to Abel, his brother,

'Let us go out in the field.'

And when they were

in the field, Cain rose up

against his brother Abel

and killed him.

Then the Lord said to Cain,

'Where is Abel your brother? '

He said, 'I do not know.

Am I my brother's keeper? '

And the Lord said,

'What have you done?"'

"So...

so... so...

so this Christmas...

let's do more than

just open gifts.

Because we are...

all of us...

our brother's keeper.

Let's follow

in Christ's footsteps.

Let's...

let's fight evil on

a daily basis because then,

and only then,

can we call ourselves

Christians,

worthy in the eyes

of the Lord."

No one wants to hear

this sh*t on Christmas Eve.

You just suck.

You suck...

so so much.

You suck.

Ah, hey!

Beautiful! You did it!

- We have connection?

- We have connection.

- Tell me, Santa.

- Anything, little girl.

What is the secret

to your gluteal success?

Santa uses

a Stairmaster, baby.

Mmm, nice, I like it.

- Eww, no presents for you!

- Ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho!

Come on, guys!

Rise and shine!

It's a gastrointestinal Christmas!

You're all invited to participate.

Did you bring

your whoopee cushion?

All right, guys,

who's ready for Christmas?

- All right, it's Christmas time!

- Yeah.

What do we have here?

- What is this?

- Presents!

Open 'em up.

Let's see what we got.

Oh my God!

# Can't stop it,

I just can't stop it #

#Can't stop it,

I just can't... #

#Stop it! #

#I got presents #

#So many presents. #

Super Soaker.

Ah ha ha ha!

How 'bout them apples?

- That's not fair.

- What?

Jack Mathias Poe,

put that water gun down right now.

Right now,

right this instant!

Hey hey hey...

not in the house!

Not in the house!

Ooh hoo hoo!

The game is on!

Come on, come on,

come on!

- The game is on!

- Okay, now... don't get the camera!

Not in here.

Oh!

Yesterday morning,

the 25th of December...

Christmas...

Jack and Emily crucified

the family cat.

My children need help.

As a doctor,

as their mother, it is...

My children need help.

Jack and Emily Poe, age 10.

Birthday:

October 31st, 1997.

No prenatal trauma,

no temporal lobe epilepsy

or amygdala damage.

Asperger's disorder possible,

but unlikely.

Malicious intent falls

into the category of conduct disorder,

a precursor to adult ASP

or anti-social personality disorder.

Either the MMPI or the PCL-R

will have to be administered

to test the ambit and extent of Jack

and Emily's psychopathology,

the ambit and extent of...

their malice.

Ha ha, and welcome

to another New Year's Eve,

our first here

at the Poe household.

We're gonna usher in

a year of prosperity,

love and a healthy buzz...

...which I've been nursing

since 5:
00 this afternoon.

Nyeh nyeh nyeh.

Indians.

Oh my God.

David, I'm blowing my nose.

- God.

- Hi, honey.

- You ready?

- Do you mind?

- I don't mind at all.

- Good Lord.

Hi! Okay, can you

put it down now?

- Cheers.

- Cheers!

- Happy New Year.

- Mm-hmm!

Are you ready?

- Oh, boy.

- Um, no. I just, um...

I'm thinking that...

maybe we shouldn't

go out tonight.

You know?

The kids...

God, stop it.

The kids are fine.

They're fine. Besides, Madre,

you deserve a night out.

Yeah, but we just...

we never go out.

And that's the point.

Exactly why we should go out.

Come on.

We'll go out.

We'll go to our old stomping grounds.

We'll hit the city, we'll tear it up,

we'll have some fun,

see some old friends.

Just for one night.

Okay.

Is the babysitter here yet?

Huh-uh.

Well, maybe we should

call her, okay?

Okay.

Sorry.

How much did you drink?

Nothing.

Not anything.

Not much of anything.

- You know what happens.

- Yeah, I do,

and I don't want that.

That's gonna be

my New Year's resolution.

- Pfft.

- What?

Well, what's gonna be yours?

What's your resolution?

Secret.

Secrets are cool.

That's what we have around here, right?

Oh, yeah, okay.

That's why you don't want

to go into the city, isn't it?

'Cause you don't want to see

people we used to know.

'Cause just they might ask

that inevitable question:

"David, Clare,

how are the kids?"

Can you turn

the camera off, please?

Sure, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you turn it off?

You tell the camera

your New Year's resolution,

then you can turn it off.

Come on, I told mine.

I promise

I won't watch it.

You should turn the camera off!

The battery's gonna die!

I'm not talking into the camera.

Hello.

For you.

Ding-dong.

Yeah, I'm gonna smoke.

New Year's resolution.

Here we go.

I resolve...

I resolve to...

...not quit smoking.

I want...

I want this family to be

the family that

I thought it would be

when I thought about having

a family in the first place,

because... this isn't.

It's...

I feel like I don't

know these people.

There are strangers

in my house.

Mom, help.

What are you doing?

Oh my God!

What is this?!

- I didn't do that.

- Well, that's...

Were you rough-housing

with Daddy?

- Who hurt you? Did Daddy hurt...

- Well...

Be quiet, David!

Who hurt you?

Did Daddy bite you?

- Who bit you?

- The man.

- What man?

- The man in the closet.

January 1st, 2007,

4:
06 AM.

Multiple bite marks found

on both Jack and Emily's

torso and arms.

Bites so deep they left,

for lack of a better word,

craters in their flesh.

It is worth noting,

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