Home Sweet Hell Page #4

Please?

Do you hear that?

- Hear what?

- The ringing sound...

No...

You put something in my drink.

Put it in your drink?

Oh, f***. I can barely see.

What did you do, Donny?

Nothing. I swear.

You drugged me.

Yeah, I did.

You drugged me!

I did. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I...

Give me the key, you f***ing prick!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Oh, no!

No, Dusty. Mona made me do it!

F*** Mona! F*** you!

No, no! Oh, God! Oh, no.

I'm trying to get away from some...

- Wait, what? Get away?

- People...

What people? What people?

What about the baby...?

What? What?

More than the moon and the stars...

Mona made you do it?

Get her in the trunk.

I don't feel so good.

So, what do I do first?

No! She's alive! No!

Why isn't she dead?

Oh, boy.

What do we do?

Maybe we should just let her go.

- Really?

- No.

- No. Get a hammer.

- A hammer?

Yes. Get a hammer

so you can hit her in the head with it.

No! No! Why aren't you dead?

I thought there was enough

to fell a small village!

I guess not. Now get a hammer!

No. A hammer?

It's a hammer.

Oh, no, honey.

You have to do it, of course.

- What? I can't.

- Must I remind you who's at fault here?

Mona, I've already

attempted to murder someone for you!

No, honey. For us. For us.

And you failed.

So now you have to do it again,

and do it right this time.

Unless, of course...

...you're not truly committed

to what we have, and then...

What if I choke her?

Or drown her?

Give it to me. I'll do it.

- I'll bury her.

- No, no. I'll do it. Open the trunk.

Open the trunk!

Oh, my...!

Okay.

I'm gonna kill her, man.

Relax. Her phone probably just died.

Oh, no.

No, that's not like her.

No. Something's wrong.

What are you gonna do?

Find her and then kill her?

That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah, oh, f*** me...

I think it's all these drugs, man. F***.

I think that's making me f***ing paranoid.

Listen, remember, I'm the paranoid one.

Can't both be on edge...

...so just drink your beer and chill out.

Okay?

I can feel it in my bones, man.

Something ain't right.

She always comes back, Murphy.

No, it's the furniture store man.

That f***ing white-bread piece of sh*t,

that furniture store man.

You're gonna need to pick up some more

trash bags from Costco tomorrow.

I'd write it down for you,

but I'm just covered in that girl.

Just distasteful.

FYI, I'm hiring the next employee.

Now, grab a shovel.

We need to fertilize the garden

with your hooker.

Who wasn't pregnant, by the way.

No! Wait, wait!

Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me.

- Thank you very much.

- You're welcome, sir.

What the hell happened?

I got jumped.

Inside the store?

You know, it just came out of the blue,

out of nowhere.

I'm so sorry, boss.

Are you hurt bad?

I got a little scrape here,

and a busted up knee.

- Holy sh*t, Les!

- Don Champagne.

Oh. Hey, chief. Yeah, hi.

What's the matter?

You hurt your hand there?

Yeah. Little stockroom accident.

Yeah.

Well, your office is a

bit of a mess, but...

...it would appear the only items missing

are his watch and wallet.

I'd do a thorough check of the premises,

though.

If you find anything else missing,

give us a call.

Yep. Will do.

Thank you so much for coming down.

I appreciate it, you know,

for something so trivial.

Actually, Don, I came down here

about something else entirely.

You did? Okay, tell me, chief.

What have you got?

What do you know?

What do you need from me?

You got a girl named Dusty

still working here?

Yes. Yep.

- When's the last time you seen her?

- I...

- Last week.

- I think last week.

Yeah. Last week.

- Last week?

- Definitely last week.

Yeah.

- What kind of car does she drive?

- It's like, a big blue...

- A blue Suburban.

- That's it. Suburban.

Yeah, it's a piece of sh*t like mine.

- Yours isn't.

- It's a little old.

Well, we found it.

You did?

Somebody set it on fire.

- Someone set her car on fire?

- Was she in it?

No, sir. Thank goodness.

- Thank goodness.

- Not much left, but...

This photo managed to survive

of her and your man there.

The vehicle, however,

is burnt up just like I like my bacon.

Nice and crispy.

You know,

that car she was driving...

...is registered to another fella went

missing a while back outside of town.

We're still looking into that.

- That's so odd!

- That's odd, huh?

It is.

Wait, you don't think this has

anything to do with that, do you?

Oh, no, no, no.

You'll see, it's probably the work...

...of a couple winos

looking for booze and quick cash.

But when you've been doing this

as long as I have...

...well, you know, anything's possible.

- All right, then.

- We'll let you know if she comes back.

- Thank you.

- Thanks.

- Hey.

- Yeah?

What really happened to your hand?

You know...

I took your advice and I told Mona.

- And your hand was the only casualty?

- Well, she slammed it in a panini press.

- While you were making a panini?

- No, Les.

Well, what did Mona do?

Did she kick you out?

No.

We have goals, we have a family...

...and we're not gonna let

a little infidelity get in the way of that.

It's gonna take a little time to heal...

...but ultimately we'll be better partners

because of it.

- Mona said that?

- Absolutely. Every word.

Oh, my God.

She is an incredible specimen.

Yeah. She definitely is.

- Hey, what the hell happened to Dusty?

- I don't know. But I'm worried.

- What if she's dead?

- No, don't say that.

No, what if she's dead?

Les. Don't you say that.

Don't you dare say that, Les.

Poor Dusty.

All she wanted

was to get back up on her feet...

...and support her family.

She's so skinny and pretty.

Oh, poor girl. Poor Dusty.

Have you been drinking?

A little.

It's 10 in the morning, Les.

I'm not proud of it.

I told you

we should've dumped the car in the lake.

- That doesn't work.

- What do you mean, it doesn't work?

It would be

at the bottom of a lake right now.

You need to erase all evidence,

burning it is the best option.

I saw it on First 48.

Will you shut up about First 48!

No reason to get short with me,

Don Champagne...

Chief, hi. I'll call you back.

- Everything all right, Don?

- Oh, yeah.

Mona wants to record First 48

instead of Duck Dynasty.

And I won't stand for it anymore,

so I had to...

New number. New card.

See, it's raised a little. Isn't that nice?

Oh, that is gorgeous.

I was gonna get my picture made on it,

but he wanted an extra six dollars, so...

Thank you.

All right then.

Andrew!

- Andrew?

- What?

Oh, son. Are you okay?

I'm fine.

What did that man say?

He said to give you this.

Okay.

She did say she was trying

to get away from some people.

When did she say that?

Last night. Before she... We...

- What else did she say?

- Nothing.

It just seems like those two things

are connected, don't you think?

It would seem so.

They nearly crippled Les.

Now they're threatening us.

Les is fine.

I'm just a furniture salesman.

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