Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves Page #3

- Wayne? - Yes?

- Are we shrunk?

I'm not gonna lie to you. Yes, we are.

I was at the machine and I was just...

- How did this happen?

- Well, it's sort of a funny story.

And what is that

Tiki thing doing here?

- Uh, well...

- Tiki thing?

Oh, I get it. You thought

you could outsmart me, Wayne.

You thought you could just shrink the

Tiki Man down and I wouldn't notice.

Well, guess what, Wayne?

I noticed!

Now, Diane, calm down.

How can I calm down?

I am smaller than a raisin!

Diane, if you think about this

with a modicum of hindsight, you...

Oh, stop trying to use your interpersonal

skills to smooth things over!

- He's dragged us into it too.

- Can I just say something?

- This doesn't normally happen.

- No! You cannot say anything right now!

People, p-please! Could we argue somewhere else?

I don't think it's real safe here on the floor.

That's true. We got to get away

from the shoes and the cockroaches.

Cockroaches? There are

cockroaches here?

- Well, it's an attic!

- I hate cockroaches.

And th-that's just regular-sized cockroaches,

not cockroaches the size of sofas.

- Sofas? - You know, Wayne... - I bet

if we climb up that wicker chair...

- we can get to the windowsill.

- Good. - Okay, that's great!

Well, let's get going, 'cause

it's gonna take a long time.

Diane. Are you gonna stay mad

at me the whole time we're tiny...

or are you gonna try and make

the best out of a bad situation?

- I'm gonna stay mad at you the whole time.

- Good.

Come on.

Yes. Yes! I made it.

Oh, Gordon, you are so buff.

Hey, Patty! Hang in there!

You're doing great!

No. No, Gordon.

Great would be

if I were in La Costa.

I'm doing the opposite of great.

I'm doing sucky.

Honey, at least you're

getting some exercise.

Yeah. Now that I have a wicker chair,

I don't have to go to the gym any more.

Come on. Good. You got it.

You got it. Okay.

Hard part's over.

- Uh-huh. - Now, all we have

to do is walk across this...

- footbridge.

- Gordon, that is not a footbridge.

It's a stick.

To you, maybe. To Gordon Szalinski,

it's a highway to bigness.

See? I'm walking

across the footbridge.

I'm not looking down.

But I am a cat.

I am a panther.

I am scared stiff.

Huh? Ta-da! Okay.

Okay, follow me.

And I just picked it up

in a hardware store...

but it has performed better in my

wind tunnel tests than anything else.

- Look, you can see the driveway from here.

- There's my car.

Hey. Hey, the kids will see it

and know we're here.

- That's right. They're smart. They'll figure it out.

- So we're saved.

Yes! I told you everything

would be fine!

I forgot to put the blocks in.

I knew I heard a noise.

You should have

those brakes looked at.

Hey, Adam, do you think your dad'll

let us roast those molecules...

when we're done with them?

That is so lame.

I'm trying to work

with what we've got.

What we've got is

a weekend in Dullsville.

Dad! Uncle Wayne!

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

No roller-blading in the house.

- You're not my mom.

- That's right. 'Cause if I were you'd be up for adoption.

Take off your Rollerblades.

Dad! Uncle Gordon!

- They don't seem to be here.

- That's weird.

I gotta make a phone call.

Oh, hey, look.

- Must've left a message.

- Guess what? Change of plans.

Gordon and I just got invited to see

the space shuttle land tonight.

- So if it's okay, we're gonna take off.

- If that's okay?

They wouldn't just take off.

Oh, hey, look!

Forty dollars for pizza!

- They must really be gone then.

- Yeah. So what now?

Of course, as soon as the kids realize

we're gone, they'll be very upset.

All right! Yeah!

Yeah. And I'm sure their first thought will

be, "Gee, I bet our parents are shrunk. "

Yeah, that's true. And there's

no reason for them to come up here.

So we gotta get to them.

Well, how? We'll never get

down the stairs alive.

Well, the fastest way is to go straight

out the window and into Adam's room.

- You know what we could do?

- Gordon, I'm the inventor here. Can I figure this out?

Now, the shortest distance

between two points is a straight line.

If I had some sort of cable, a pulley system

that I could use to transport us down.

- But what could it be? If I had some sort of mini zeppelin.

- Wayne.

- Or a pneumatic device. Or jet packs powered...

- Wayne.

by an isotope-based

thruster system.

- Wayne!

- What?

How 'bout something

like a fishing reel?

That would work.

I'm gonna invite

all my friends over.

I'm gonna eat anything I want.

I'm not gonna take my vitamins.

- I am gonna play my music really loud.

- I'm not gonna wear any socks.

And I'm gonna bleach my hair.

Okay. Look, we can all do

whatever we want.

But we have to make a pact

this weekend.

No matter what, our parents

can never find out.

- Promise? -

Promise. - Promise.

- Gordon, I'm freaking.

- Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, sweetheart. It's almost over.

Hang on!

So far, so good.

So I'm at my uncle's house

on Echo Lane.

Yes, the one with

the weirdo mailbox.

So guess what?

My parents are out of town for a whole weekend,

and we have the house all to ourselves.

So I think I'm gonna

throw a party.

Oh, my God! A party?

Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna wear.

- Where are we?

- This is Adam's room.

- This is the top of his chest of drawers.

- We are in serious trouble.

Ah, come on, Patty.

It won't be that bad.

I mean, we'll have to

find a shoe to live in.

But the kids are messy eaters. There'll

be plenty of crumbs for us to eat.

Wayne, we're not gonna spend the rest of

our lives tiny. We're going to get big again.

Somehow, some way, we'll get

our kids' attention.

How? They hardly listen to us when we're

full-sized. Now it'll be impossible.

Unless we can make

our voices full-size.

Well, there's gotta be a way.

Like, does Adam have a bullhorn or a...

- a... a karaoke machine?

- No.

Hey, I got it! I can rewire the stereo

so we can talk through the speakers.

- That would amplify our voices a hundred times!

- And that'll work?

Sure. Just slip in through the vent of

the receiver and hot-wire the circuits.

- Yee-hah! We have a plan.

- What do you think, Diane?

It's a plan.

Yeah. Hey, hey, this one's done.

This one's done.

All right. Yeah.

Hey, how come there's no instructions

for a balloon full of chili?

Okay. Be here at 6:00,

ready to dance. Okay? Bye.

All set. Jody, Holly and Corky

are coming for dinner tonight...

...and they're not leaving until tomorrow morning.

- Wait a second.

You're having a sleepover

after what Mom said? She'll kill you.

Mom's not gonna find out.

Remember our little promise?

If you'll excuse me for a second,

I have some shopping to do.

- Gee.

- Oh, man!

Wow! Adam's Sharkruiser.

- It's perfect.

- Wow. That's beautiful.

Wait 'til you see this.

I gave it to him for Christmas.

This is incredible!

Look at this detail.

- Great green gobs

- Hey, Adam!

Of greasy, grimy gopher guts

Mutilated monkey meat

Dirty little birdie feet

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