Honeymoon in Vegas Page #7

- I don't care about El Paso.

- How do I get to Vegas?

- Well, let's see.

There's a 9:
00 p. m. Flight

into Los Angeles.

It arrives at 10:15...

And then you can just take

a 12:
35 flight into Vegas.

- That's it?

- Until tomorrow morning, yes.

Oh, man.

Attention, Pakistani,

Indian and Malaysian Elvises:

Your bus to the Grand Canyon

is leaving in eight minutes.

...when the beeper goes off. Thanks.

Hi, Jack, it's me.

I'm back in Vegas with Tommy.

I tried you when I was in Hawaii,

but you were never there, so...

Look, Jack, here's the thing. I don't

know why you lied to me about the game.

All right? I don't know,

but I suppose I can guess.

The worst part about this

is I don't know where you are.

I don't know and I can't

speak to you direc...

Ladies and gentlemen.

For your convenience,

we have immediate seating available...

I'll go crack open the champagne.

Are you always

going to keep me waiting?

That's a joke.

You can keep me waiting anytime.

Vegas! Anybody going to Vegas?

Las Vegas! Anybody!

Anybody, Vegas!

Are you guys going to Vegas

by any chance?

Yeah! We sure are. You need a lift?

- Oh, desperately.

- You done this before, son?

Yeah, yeah, sure. I love

these little planes. They're great.

Oh, come on. Hop aboard.

You'll have a good time.

We got a new one, boys.

Come on in there.

Let's go. Let's go!

Could we talk?

- Sure, we could talk.

- No, back inside.

Please?

You ready, Zeke?

Ready!

Hey, all right.

What's your cape size, son?

- What's my cape size?

- Uh-huh.

Forty regular.

What's with the parachutes?

You're gonna find out as soon as

you strap one on, I guarantee you.

For such a short flight, it seems

like you're being overcautious.

I don't know. It's just a hunch, but...

Son, we're skydivin'.

You're skydiving?

We're the Flying Elvises,

Utah chapter.

Roy Bacon, director, at your service.

Listen, if you could just drop me.

Oh, yeah, we'll sure drop you!

This is a panic attack.

Why does it have to be so soon?

Well, honey, you know,

I told you there comes a time when...

I'm not ready.

Nah. You just think you're not ready.

No, I'm not ready.

I say we wait a few weeks.

You know? A month.

We, we get to know each other better.

OK... Look, I'll give you

half a million dollars

if you marry me today. Cash.

And if things don't work out,

we split up, you keep the money.

You're joking.

About money, I, I neverjoke.

Screw you.

Please. Don't ever turn

your back on me. Ever.

Weekend is over.

Don't grab me like that.

You are being rude to me.

In the lobby of the Bally Hotel,

you are being rude.

Get out of my sight.

Hey!

A million. Now, be a realist.

This is a no-lose deal for you.

I get a million dollars?

Yeah. That's correct.

You're unbelievable.

It would be very irresponsible

of you to turn this down.

- Tommy...

- Hey.

Your answer...

...is yes.

I have to go to the bathroom.

OK, come on.

I'll go with you.

I need to be alone

for a couple of minutes.

OK. You got five minutes,

and then we get married.

Listen.

You said, "Yes, I will marry you. "

That's a promise.

When people make promises

to Tommy Korman, they keep 'em.

You understand?

- Yes, I do. Yes.

- Hmm?

You got five minutes.

She's comin' up here?

I thought you left already.

No. Just stay close to her,

all right?

Where is he?

Ooh, boy, that music

gets the adrenaline going, don't it?

- We jump out at what altitude?

- Three thousand feet.

And these chutes are foolproof, right?

Well, as the King his own self said...

they ain't nothin' in this

whole wide world foolproof,

exceptin' Coupe DeVilles and hookers!

Let me get this straight.

I pull this?

No, boy, you pull

the other one first,

that being your main chute.

Then if that chute don't open,

you reach over and pull the red one,

that there being your auxiliary chute.

Yellow, then red. Yellow, then red.

- You got it.

- OK, OK. Now...

If, by any chance, I get flustered

when I'm hurtling through space...

and I pull the red one first?

Oh! Then you gonna wind up

lookin' like a well-done chili burger.

They gonna have to

shovel you into a coffin.

But you can do it, son. You can do it!

All right, fellers.

It's just about show time!

Yellow, then red.

Yellow, then red.

She never came up.

- Go find her.

- Where?

I don't know. Try outside.

Six minutes until the Flying

Elvises make their historic jump.

Elvises, rise!

Yellow, then red.

Yellow, then red.

Yellow, then red. Yellow, then red.

Yellow, then red. Yellow, then red.

Where you going?

Ladies and gentlemen

Roy Bacon and his Flying Elvises

are approaching Bally's.

- All eyes to the sky!

- Elvis!

OK, OK.

She's somewhere in the basement.

So, tell me, what are you

doing in the lobby?

- I'm keeping you informed.

- Go get her! Go get her!

Moron.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Flying Elvises

have entered Las Vegas airspace

and will jump in one minute!

One minute!

Elvises, light your fires!

Betsy! Betsy! Betsy! Betsy!

That's it.

Look at them up there!

Elvises, head 'em up

and move 'em out!

Here they come!

Excuse me.

Never before have so many

Elvises been airborne!

Let's give them

a real Las Vegas welcome

and pray that they make it

safely to Earth.

You know you pull the red one,

then the yellow one!

No, he said yellow, then red!

No! He was just kidding!

Lyle, come on, Lyle!

- Good luck!

- Wait a minute!

- I was just kidding.

- You were or Roy was?

He was.

Our brave Elvises of the sky

are wearing specially designed

electric jumpsuits

made to the King's

own specifications.

Each suit is valued

at over $10,000.

Here they come!

They're crossing the Dunes.

Then they're headed home to Bally's.

One last time! Yellow, then red?

Betsy! Betsy! Betsy! Betsy!

Yee-haw!

Roy Bacon has opened his chute.

Only one to go!

Yellow! Red! Pow!

The last chute is open!

That's good. That's great.

I'm not gonna die.

Don't look down.

Here comes our first Elvis to Earth.

Tommy Joe Smithers

of Provo, Utah.

Our second Elvis,

from Elko, Nevada...

Walter Peeblinger!

God, don't let me land

on anything sharp.

Left, toggle left.

Right, toggle right.

The wind currents are picking up!

Watch it up there,

brave Elvises of the sky!

Steady, boy.

Here we go.

That's good. OK.

Here they come.

From Tucson, Billy Braker!

From Salt Lake City,

Lyle Davis and Vern Poole.

And our newest Flying Elvis

from New York City...

making his maiden jump,

Jack Singer!

Let's give a real

Las Vegas welcome

for our heroic young man,

Jack Singer!

Welcome to Earth,

brave Elvises!

- Miss, stay back.

- Please.

Jack!

- Betsy!

- Jack!

Betsy!

Did you marry him?

Jack! You jumped out of a plane!

His kid said you were gonna

marry him today.

Did you get a job here?

I couldn't find you.

I didn't know how to reach you.

I was flying day and night.

I was going everywhere.

Hawaii, jail... I saw you on the beach.

I was screaming your name.

He said that was the wind.

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