Horrible Bosses 2 Page #10

- The guy's rich.

That would rock me to my core.

Have a little empathy. Please?

Know what's going on? You're

holding a grudge right now. Yes, you do that.

- You get all tight. You're gonna get cancer.

- You do.

- I don't want that.

- Let the past be the past.

We're not in the f***ing past.

We're in the goddamn present. And you guys--

What are you talking about? You're acting

like you have Stockholm Syndrome.

What is that?

- What, like jet lag?

- No.

- Do I look tired to you?

- You don't. No.

- You don't look tired.

- I'm fine.

Stockholm Syndrome's when

you bond with your captors.

Oh, okay. Well, then hold on a second.

He's the hostage.

So this would be reverse

Stockholm Syndrome.

Yeah, and we don't have that, okay?

He's just a really, really, really likable guy.

I like him a lot.

- He's really likable.

- The guy's a winner.

It's nice to be around a winner.

- Oh, boy. It feels right, Nick. Come on.

- Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna go in,

tell him cops were never part of this plan...

...and the sh*t ends now. Let's do it.

- Okay, but hear us out about festering.

- Like you can't have a conversation.

It was a wonderful idea. Didn't work out.

So I think the best thing to do

is just to pull the plug...

...and you tell the police that the guys

who got you chickened out...

...let you go, they're long gone.

- They didn't all chicken out.

- Now's not the time to back off, boys.

I say we chop off a toe,

mail it to him and double the ransom.

- Now you're talking. Chop, chop, chop.

- Yes! Wait, whose toe?

- Not it. Not it. Not my toe.

- No one's toe.

Keep your toes. Time to call it off.

Nick. Nick. Come on.

- Nick, look at me.

- Oy.

Look, man, if we give up now,

I'll be just fine, you know?

But you guys, your employees,

for God's sake.

- Dale's little boys.

- Girls, Kurt.

- Hey, thanks. Yes.

- Yeah. You're all f***ed.

- Nick, come on.

- Come on.

You can't roll over and die

when your back's against the wall.

- Don't roll over and die.

- You gotta be careful.

- You have to take what's yours.

- Take it!

Put your name on it. Write your name on it

and say, "That's mine."

And take it.

I think I'll take it from here, okay?

- He's got it.

- He's got it. Listen right here.

- This is where you want it to come from.

- Not us.

- I got it!

- Sorry, Rex. Sorry.

- He's got it.

- Come on, man.

Help me help you get revenge

on my a**hole dad...

- ...and get you paid a million bucks cash.

- Yes.

Boy, it sounds awesome,

but there's no way to get it done.

That's not true. How about this?

How about if we just put our heads together?

We brainstorm a little.

If we don't come up with a ransom plan

that you love, we pull the plug.

- Then you'd let us walk?

- You have my word.

But if we do come up

with something really inspired...

...then we're in it to win it.

Well, I can't stop anybody

from brainstorming.

You're the best.

- All right.

- I'll see you upstairs, man.

Is "vagina" with a G or a J?

All right.

Let's run it down from the top.

Okay. First we tie up Rex in one

of those abandoned warehouses off 3rd.

Then we call Bert on a dark phone.

It's prepaid and untraceable.

Go to the bench on the 4th Street Bridge

to make the drop.

Not long enough to trace the call.

Goddamn it.

These guys are pros.

I want a tracer put in that bag.

The police are sending everyone they've got

to watch the bridge.

Weapons tight. Eyes on.

All right, tactical command, red team.

Here we go.

But when he gets there...

...he finds the dark phone

that I planted ahead of time.

Then we call him from the second dark

phone, and tell him to proceed downtown.

Hello.

You'll wanna pull into the garage under

the Mandrake Hotel and park in Space 4421.

There, you will find a red bag.

You will transfer the money into this bag, then

drive out and await the location of the drop.

And we tell him if anyone follows him in,

his son's a f***ing corpse.

And when Bert

drives that far underground...

...the police will lose the signal from his wire.

But when he arrives,

instead of finding a bag he finds you three.

Disguised. Armed. Dangerous.

- Yeah, but the gun's not loaded, right?

- Of course not. Nobody gets hurt, come on.

I then tell him to give me his jacket and tie.

So just as the cops are starting to sweat...

...Dad pulls out with the new red bag,

just as he was instructed.

- Sir, we have the signal back.

- Thank God.

Only it won't be my father driving.

It'll be our ringer.

- We're back on him, sir.

- How do you know it's him?

I still have the cash

and I'm heading to the drop.

I guess it's him. Stay with him.

So I drive to the Staples Center.

Kings have Vancouver. Great matchup.

Place will be packed.

Cops will stay with the money,

wait for the kidnappers to receive the drop.

Hanson made the drop, stay on the money.

We got our man. Take him down.

Stay down.

Son of a b*tch.

By the time the cops know

they've been had...

...Kurt's a ghost.

And Nick and Dale disappear with the cash.

And, finally, I am rescued

from my hellish captivity.

Thank you. Where's my dad?

Dad!

A week later, once the smoke clears,

we'll be sitting poolside, splitting up the cash.

It's raining. Who wants it?

There's enough to share.

Look what came. Who wants some tequila?

- It's cash.

- Thanks, babe.

Hey, whoa, Dale.

Get your goddamn kids out of the fantasy.

Let them enjoy the pool,

let me enjoy the money.

- They're not even allowed at this pool.

- I can't turn my mind off.

- Guys. Guys. Guys.

- Will you stop it?

Come on. Let's not argue, okay?

We came up with an awesome plan.

It is smart. It is mad creative.

You know, you boys continue to impress me.

- I'm proud of you.

- Thanks, man.

- You came up with most of it, though.

- I did not.

- You did.

- That is a lie. It was a team effort.

You came up with going into the garage,

losing the signal.

That was brilliant. Kurty came up

with the dark-phone business.

- That's from "Grand Theft Auto." I took it.

- Genius. Dale, uh...

I had the thing where you go on the zip line

to the trampoline to the skateboard.

- Nick shot that down, if you remember.

- Yeah. It wasn't a good idea.

It was a bad idea, it really was.

You had a lot of bad ideas though

that led to good ideas. And that is value.

Thanks, man.

All right, Nick. Look, my word is still good.

You know, if you don't think it can work,

we call it off.

It's up to you, buddy.

Where do we get untraceable phones?

- Ha, ha!

- There we go. That's our guy.

- This guy.

- There we go.

Prepaid with bitcoins.

Jailbroken.

A hundred percent untraceable.

- We got it.

- Thanks. Solid. Thank you, Motherf***er.

Good luck out there, boys.

- What's that laugh about?

- I just said good luck.

- That was a sinister giggle.

- You said it with a sinister giggle.

I'm just saying that maybe you guys

might want a little advice.

- Boy, that was predictable. No, thanks.

- We're good.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote