Horrible Bosses 2 Page #9

- No accents. That's ridiculous.

- That's a great idea, Kurty.

Boulder Stream.

- Who is this? The secretary?

- Accent. Yeah.

Hey, homey.

Let me speak to Mr. Bert Hanson.

No, I don't mind holding. I just barely even

called you right now already.

- That's incredibly racist.

- Super racist.

Just do a Southern accent.

Southern? Southern I got.

Southern. No problem.

Hanson.

Well, howdy there, partner.

Uh, this here's the gents

what got your young'un and all.

And, well, we got some talking to do and--

- Southern, not old prospector.

- I thought that was pretty good.

Listen, you lowlife bottom-feeder,

I don't have time for this little f***-around.

Either this ends right now,

or it ends with bullets in your skulls.

Now, you hush.

You don't scare us one bit. We got your boy.

- I bet that tears you up something fierce.

- How do I know you really have my boy?

Dad.

Dad, is that you? Please. They're crazy.

They told me if you call the police,

they'd kill me.

Please. Please,

do whatever they say. I don't wanna die, Dad.

No police. Aah!

- God!

- Rex? Rex? Where are you?

Now, you listen.

Y'all gonna have to rassle up...

...that 5 million bucks in cash.

We're looking at all 100s.

- Unmarked.

- Unmarked.

- No tracers.

- No tracers and no dye packs neither.

Otherwise, we gonna take your boy...

...and string him up by his pretty little neck...

...with the roughest,

coarsest piece of rope we got...

...in our rope inventory.

You understand?

You got 24 hours before he dead.

- Yes.

- That is how it's done.

Let's go. All right.

Guys, that was great.

That was so much fun.

- Absolutely.

- You were incredible.

- Thanks for getting us snacks, dude.

- You earned it.

So now what? What do we do?

- Okay.

- What's the plan?

- I say we go back to the office.

Mm-hm.

Okay? Lay low for a little while.

And we wait for that money train to roll in.

- Choo-choo!

- Choo-choo, baby!

- Oh! Turn up this song. I love this one.

- We're doing this thing.

I hate to break up the car party, but, Rex,

you don't have a plan for the ransom drop...

...and that is the part

where people get caught.

Wow. The ransom drop is only hard

if the police are involved.

Yeah. But what if he does call the police?

Because that wouldn't be good.

He's a billionaire.

He's not gonna risk my life over $5 million.

After Kurt's little performance,

there's no way he's gonna call the cops.

My performance? What about yours?

You were so in the moment.

- You think so?

- You were great! And you were!

Get your mouths off his dick, okay?

- Everyone was doing pretty good.

- Whoa. Take it down a notch.

Wait. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

This is Stacy.

Oh, my God. I forgot to call her.

Uh, hi, honey.

- Where have you been all night?

- Here's what happened.

I fell asleep at the office, and--

Really? Because Find My iPhone

said you weren't at the office.

Heh. What, are you cheating on me, Dale?

- Look, you're upset and--

- Oh, sh*t.

- Oh, God. Goddamn it.

- He called the cops.

- Oh, we're busted.

- Busted? Oh, my God.

- I'm not busted.

- Drive.

No one is busted in a bad sense of the word.

- Too late. Lupe's got us. Pull in.

- Put your head in my lap.

Honey, no one's head's going in my lap. It's

something guys are saying now. I can't talk.

- Hide, hide, hide.

- I am f***ed.

- Let's just go in. Be calm and be cool.

- Sh*t.

- Hi.

- Gentlemen.

- You own this establishment?

- This place here?

I don't know. Do you really

own anything in this lifetime?

- We're currently renting.

- It's all just material. Electrons, protons.

- Yeah. We do.

- Technically.

Let me ask you, has your company done

business recently with a Mr. Bert Hanson?

- Barb Fanson? Doesn't ring a bell.

- Not really ringing a bell.

- I don't think that we have.

- Not our guy.

That's interesting.

The way I hear it, you're working with him.

And things didn't shake out

too well for you boys.

- Oh, Bert.

- Oh. Bert Hanson.

- Yeah.

- Is that what he said?

- Bert Hanson? Oh, yeah. We know him.

- That guy.

We had a business disagreement.

- Big whoop.

- No big deal.

- Water under the bridge.

- We're super friendly with the guy.

You're very forgiving.

Because almost everyone I've talked to

thinks he's an a**hole.

- Do they think that?

- I could see that.

Strong word. I don't know if I'd use it.

We like the guy. Definitely don't think

his son deserves to be kidnapped.

Kidnapped?

Who said anything about kidnapping?

Uh...

- I wanna say you did.

- I didn't.

- I heard you say it.

- I didn't.

- I feel like you did.

- I'm sure I did.

You said "kidnapping."

I was like, "What a weird word."

- Should be more "kidnabbing."

- No, I did not. Did I say that?

- I think you might have, sir.

- You sure?

Well, I got a little lost with

all their yammering, but pretty sure.

All right, maybe I did.

- Hey.

- It's been a long week.

We'll be in touch.

Yeah. Anytime you want. Don't worry,

because the main thing is that you said it--

Stop talking. Stop talking.

You've done plenty, plenty of talking.

Where you going? Come back here.

Come over here. We're going this way.

I don't want you to thank me.

Just go home and enjoy your family.

Enjoy the rest of the day off, everyone.

You've earned it.

Ah. Ugh.

The police were just checking.

Making sure we're locking up at night.

You know, they're keeping

the neighborhood safe. They're heroes.

- Okay, all taken care of.

- Shh.

- No, everyone's gone.

- No, no, he--

He's spinning out.

I was really clear my life was in danger.

He called the police anyway.

Yeah, and since he did...

...it's pretty clear that we're not gonna

be able to continue with the scam--

Five million dollars is nothing to him.

But I guess it's worth more to him

than my life.

- Ooh.

- Aw.

- I'm his son, for chrissake.

- Oh, boy. We got a crier.

- Look how blue his eyes get when he's crying.

- I'm sorry. This is so f***ing embarrassing.

- Oh, no. No, no, no.

- No.

Toilet paper here. You can blow your nose.

Just because your dad called the cops

doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

No, of course not. Oh, my gosh.

I'm sure it was just his first reaction.

- He's scared, confused.

- It's natural. I mean, Dale's a dad.

I'm a dad.

Can you imagine if someone stole

one of them?

- I can't imagine.

- You would call the cops.

No, I don't think I'd call the cops.

I couldn't take that risk.

- Different situation.

- Sh*t, I'm sorry.

Bad example.

Maybe some alone time would be helpful.

Why don't we step outside,

give him a minute?

We'll come back, don't do anything rash.

- Get the loose rope. I don't want him to...

- We can only hope.

Can I talk to you outside, please?

- Oh, boy.

- Man, I feel terrible for that guy.

I know. Are you kidding me?

Poor, poor guy.

- I mean, that is rough. Rough.

- Are you guys shitting me in there?

His dad sold him out for--

It was probably nothing to him.

- Pennies to him.

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