Horrible Bosses 2 Page #13

That is a lie!

- He knows.

- He knows. He knows.

Don't worry, GUYS-

I'll take it from here.

Sorry, Rex.

But we got you.

Why take a few of his millions...

...when I can inherit all of them

and you guys can take the fall?

Ooh. Checkmate, b*tch.

- All right, here. Let's have that.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- No, I-- Right. Sorry.

- Thanks, man.

Didn't wanna hold onto that

for two more minutes?

No, that was a gift.

- Did you park the Prius in the back alley?

- I sure did.

- Do you have the keys?

- Here you go.

I'm really proud of you guys.

Seriously. You pulled together.

You worked like a team. Just like we planned.

Dale, we had a lot of laughs.

I really appreciate it.

I mean, you made me smile.

Nick, I want you to smile more.

You know? Look at those frown lines.

Take a vacation. Lighten up.

- Kurt, I think I'm gonna miss you the most.

- Why?

Okay.

Bye.

Catch.

- Don't--

- Goddamn it.

Sorry. I just have good hands.

F***. Hang on a second.

Hey, freeze. Freeze.

Ha, ha. Dale, come on.

You think I'd give you a loaded gun?

Ah, Sh*t.

I gotta get going. Gotta wait to be saved

at the warehouse by the cops. See you.

Oh, sh*t. Good luck talking to the cops.

You have your dad's blood all over-- Oh!

- Can we not keep anything to ourselves?

- F*** me. I'm so sorry.

- That's worse than what I did. What did I do?

- You're friends with him. You introduced me.

We're not gonna be afraid of

an unloaded gun, Rex, you dipshit.

- He's got bullets. He's got bullets.

- He's got bullets? F***ing hell.

Kurt, what are you? A 32 waist?

- Oh, dear God. He's gonna rape us.

- No.

- Oh, you just want my--

- He just wants the pants.

All-time shittiest idea you guys ever had.

Can't believe you talked me into this.

- This guy's dead now.

- I know that.

- He's dead.

- We should've stayed cogs.

This is taking too damn long.

Sh*t.

This isn't about the bag.

This is the goddamn drop.

Move in. Everybody move in now.

- Take off the incriminating pants.

- Run around in my underwear?

Why not throw the body in the trunk?

We got 5 million bucks.

There's police everywhere.

We're not gonna get away.

Oh, sh*t.

- Grab the bag. Get the f*** in.

- Why?

Lead the cops to that warehouse

before your boy gets there.

If they see him out walking free,

they just might believe your ass. Let's go.

Get the money.

Hey. Hey, guys.

Goddamn it. It's those idiots.

I knew I never said anything

about kidnapping.

- Come on. Let's go.

- Following us is already a part of their plan.

- You never know. Wanna make sure.

- What is the seat-belt situation?

- I got mine.

- We should put them on.

- Can I get under yours?

- Hold on to the dashboard.

- Sh*t.

- This is the wrong way.

This is the wrong way. Turn around.

Stop the car.

- Who you texting?

- My lady.

- Put it down.

- If I don't check in, she goes crazy.

By the way, what the hell were you doing

back there in that garage in the first place?

What's that, now?

- Holy sh*t.

- What's going on?

You were down there

to steal the ransom money.

Listen, I hustle, I don't steal.

What the f*** does that--?

What were you doing in the garage?

I was thinking there was a chance...

...the drop might go south,

and that guy would kill y'all.

And in such a scenario,

you'd rather me have the cash than him.

- He was betting against us.

- You motherf***er.

- I was honoring your potential death.

- Honoring us?

What are we, samurai?

Wait, hold on. Oh, hey. Train.

- Train! Train! Train!

- Train!

- Nice! Woo-hoo!

- Damn it.

That's how you lose the cops.

- We're not supposed to lose the cops.

- Don't lose the cops.

That's the whole idea.

- It was a good thought.

- Going back. This is great.

I wish you'd slow down.

You wouldn't make mistakes.

Don't criticize the man.

He's doing the best he can.

Here, I'll let them know. Hold on.

Hey. We're back. We'll stay here...

...till all this sh*t goes by.

Then we'll all roll.

What the f*** are these a**holes doing?

- They get that?

- Yeah, I think so.

- What's that you're carrying around?

- What is that?

It's for my kitties.

- You got kittens?

- Surprising.

- I can't have kittens?

- Why you always jumping on everything?

- It's weird you're hauling around a cat stand.

- I love p*ssy.

- Hey, can I hop out and piss?

- No. We're in a car chase.

- Super long train. I feel I could get it done.

- It is a lot of freight.

Hold the line.

It probably needs...

Love isn't always on time.

Hold the line.

It's just too goddamn easy.

- I feel like I could have pissed by now.

- Let him go. Open the door.

- Caboose coming.

- Ah, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. Cops.

- Cops. Cops.

- Sh*t.

- What happened?

- You lost your stuff.

- What? Damn it.

- Yeah, you lost your cat stuff.

Okay, there's a man there.

Watch out for him.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Hey, we're boxed in here.

- Not for long.

- No, no, no.

- I've always wanted to do this.

Gotta make it last.

I touch you once

I touch you twice.

Sh*t.

What?

So where is this place?

It's up here. Under the bridge.

- What are you doing?

- You're supposed to go under the bridge.

Relax.

- The wheels are locked.

- Pump the brakes.

- Shift down.

- Put it in park.

I can't think.

Bet y'all loving this fence now.

I've come around to the whole fence thing.

I would've loved a seat belt too.

Well, what's the next part of the plan,

Motherf***er?

Ow.

There. There. There.

- Hey. Hey, he's not here. We beat him.

- What?

- We beat him.

- Hey.

- Ha, ha!

- Hey, nice job--

- Where's Motherf***er?

- I don't know.

Cops. Cops.

Hey-

- Get out of the car.

- Easy.

- Hands up.

- Relax. Please, put your guns down.

We didn't kill anybody. I swear to God.

- I don't give a goddamn. Tell it to the judge.

- We didn't kidnap anybody.

He kidnapped himself.

He'll sneak in any second.

- He was supposed to be tied up to that chair.

- Right behind you.

Who? Him?

Yeah.

Aw, that looks bad. That looks bad.

- This f***ing guy.

- You gotta believe us.

That's them. Those three, they tortured me,

then said they were gonna kill my dad.

- Oh, don't listen to that.

- That's garbage.

Tell me he's okay. Please.

- I'm sorry, son.

- No.

- No.

- He killed his father.

- He's a very strong actor. Bravo.

- Don't buy it.

- Get on the ground.

- We're getting down.

I can't believe you're buying that acting.

I mean, it's good, but--

You have the right to remain silent, a**holes.

You have the right to an attorney, a**hole.

You have--

Hey. Hey, that's my phone. He has my phone.

- The phone Bert had on the bench.

- Check that phone.

If he was tied up here the whole time,

how could Rex have the same phone?

- They switched pants!

- Yeah. They got it.

- Check it.

- It's the same ringtone, sir.

Yeah. That's my phone.

I have the same ringtone.

It's an inspiring ringtone.

You were here this whole time

with a cell phone...

...and didn't bother to call the police?

- Ah! Ah, ha, ha!

- Yes.

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote