Horse Feathers Page #5

and what a lacing

the Huxley team is getting.

HcHardie has the ball

and he's breaking through.

I guess we made a grand slam.

Pinky, hurry up.

Come on, we still got time to play.

Fine kidnappers you are. The fellas

you kidnapped were here before you.

Look:
12 to nothing.

Fat lot you care.

Know what it means if Huxley loses?

Shame, disgrace, humiliation!

And you're crazy if you don't

play the ace. Come on, fight!

No, no, no, no! Get in that game!

Listen, you butter-fingered milksops!

The way you're playing, you couldn't

beat a girls' basketball team.

We're going to have to use

our star play No. 37,

where the quarterback makes

a lateral pass to the right guard...

Dad! - Wait a minute! Boys,

if you can't beat that bunch of...

Dad! - What do you want?

- You're talking to the wrong team.

I know I am,

but our team wouldn't listen to me.

Which way you going? - Out there.

- Drop me off at the 40-yard line.

Where's your number?

Boy, play like you did last time.

I bet five dollars on the other team.

Ready?

- OK.

Let's go!

Here comes Prof. Wagstaff.

Will you say something?

- I will if you get up.

Professor Wagstaff will tell you

all about the game.

Some football game. I wish

you were here. Instead of me.

Last week, I told you Mrs. Moskowitz

was expecting a blessed event.

Last night Mrs Moskowitz had twins.

OK, Mr. Moskowitz!

Thank you, Professor.

- It was nothing at all.

The boys are back in the field,

they're lined up,

Huxley is about to kick off,

and there they go!

Pardon me.

That'll teach him to pass a lady

without tipping his hat.

Hey, you wanna get hurt?

We're gonna throw a forward pass.

Signal:
18, 72, forward pass,

eenie, meenie, miney, mo.

Pinky, what are you doing here?

That tackle will cost you 15 yards.

You're supposed to tackle

the man with the ball, understand?

Hey, idiot, where's that ball?

Look, he's got the mumps.

- Give me that ball.

Give me it.

Ain't deaf over there.

- Signal:
18, 42, 56 and run. Hup!

Bring that back!

Signal:
85, 29, 78. Hup!

Come on, boys.

Jumping anaconda!

Is there a doctor in the stands?

Yes, I'm a doctor.

- How do you like the game, doc?

Come back for me in five minutes.

Fancy seeing you here.

It's a small world after all.

Why weren't you in the last scrimmage?

I'm sitting this one out.

- What are you doing with that cigar?

You know another way to smoke it?

- Get on your feet.

Don't look now,

but I think I see the chemistry prof.

Up there with the janitor's wife.

Here, have a cigar.

Signal.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Professor Wagstaff gets the ball.

Have you got it, boys?

- OK!

Hey, bring that ball in here.

There goes the ball.

Go on, Pinky. Make a home run.

Gee, Pinky, you made a touchdown.

Are you tired? That's marvellous.

I forgot your phone number.

- Where's that ball?

Here it is. Come on,

get off that ball.

You're holding up the game.

Signal:
Uno, duo, tre, vendi,

this-a time we go left endi.

Nice work, Pinky.

Signal:
Hi diddle diddle,

the cat and the fiddle,

this time I think

we go through the middle.

Hey, you're running the wrong way.

We are gathered together here to join

this man and this woman in matrimony.

Do you take this man to be

your lawful wedded husband? - I do.

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