Hot Lead and Cold Feet Page #4

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you lint-headed limey!

Now look alive!

I'm comin' down!

Very good, sir.

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

Are you quite

all right, sir?

[Spitting]

Now I've had it with you,

Mansfield.

You missed me again,

just like your broken-down neck

did at the gorge.

Accidentally,

I assure you, sir.

Bourgeois.

If you don't kill me

by missin' me,

you're gonna get me

with your poison cookin'.

Well, the stage

is now set, sir,

and we patiently await

the opening curtain.

Don't give me

that highfalutin lingo,

you shoddy Shakespeare!

Now, what's my boy look like?

As you would say,

"The spittin' image

of your other son," sir.

Totin' guns, was he?

Yes. Rather a large

rapid-firing one, sir.

Another fightin' fool.

Oh, great glory.

I can see a real battle

shapin' up, Mansfield.

Under your watchful eye,

I'm sure it will be

a marvelous contest.

Do sit down, sir.

Oh, thank you kindly.

Ah! Ooh!

With you around, Mansfield,

my watchful eye may be

the only thing left in my body

that ain't broke,

battered, or busted.

Revival meeting, ma'am.

A pamphlet, sir?

Singin', preachin',

and free soup?

- It's homemade.

- Yes.

Free booze, and you might

get yourself a crowd.

But free soup?

[Laughing]

Maybe some of the farmers

will come.

I sure hope someone does.

I hope those gunfighters

don't come.

I don't care

what Ragsdale says.

If I had my way,

that preacher wouldn't make it

to the starting line.

They mean Eli.

He'd never believe that.

He's always looking

at the good side of people.

But while he's looking

at their good side,

their bad side's

gonna finish him.

What we oughta do

is try to help protect him.

Look!

Five paces,

we turn and shoot.

Right.

What about it?

That's a way

to help protect him.

How?

Just wait.

You ready?

I'm ready.

You ready?

I said I was ready.

You gonna count, count.

All right.

I'm gonna count now.

Well, count!

5!

Whhaaahhh!

[Growls]

[Gun c*cks]

[Gunshot]

[Gun c*cks]

[Gunshot]

[Gunshots]

Guns?!

What are you doing?!

Eli needs our help.

They're gonna get him.

I don't care. You have

no business playing with guns.

- You want me to help unload it?

- Absolutely not.

Finish delivering

those pamphlets. Now move.

You better be careful, Jenny.

The shotgun's still loaded.

Don't you worry about me.

Now, get a move on.

- All right.

- Yes'm.

[Sighs]

- ELI:
Ah!

- Whoa!

Ow! Oh!

[Clattering]

Who... who did...

You! You.

You almost killed me!

Eli?

Are you crazy?

What are you doing

shooting guns?

You don't understand.

Eli, I wasn't...

Well, if you wasn't,

who was?

The children.

Jenny,

don't blame the children.

It's bad enough

to twist the truth, Jenny.

But to blame two innocent

children for this.

I'm shocked.

You... you...

You wait and see.

When it comes

to spottin' my son,

this has to be

the perfect spot, Mansfield.

Innocent children.

Innocent children.

Ah! Ohh!

[Thunder rumbling]

[Groans]

Hmm!

[Grunting]

[Chuckling]

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

All right, Rattlesnake!

None of your tricks

this time!

On the count of three, draw!

Countin' three

is fair by me.

So long, Denver.

[Chuckling]

[Chuckling mockingly]

[Rain falling]

[Thunder crashing]

- We're gonna be late.

- Jenny, let's go.

What's wrong, Jenny?

Aren't you going?

No, I don't think I will.

- Eli needs us, Jenny.

- It's his first revival meeting.

You'd do anything for him,

wouldn't you?

Sure. He's done everything

for us.

Maybe even more than a father

would have done.

You'd like to have a father,

wouldn't you?

More than anything else

in the whole world.

Well, maybe I'll bring

some soup down later on.

Come on.

No! I tell you,

there is hope!

As Solomon

told ancient Israel,

the house of the wicked

shall be overthrown,

but the tabernacle

of the upright shall flourish.

A real battler?

You nincompoop!

My son's a psalm singer!

Yoooo!

Mr. Bloodshy.

You better get out

while the gettin's good.

The last feller who came here

talkin' tabernacles

went out feet first.

- You remember that.

- Yeah.

But running away

has never been the solution,

not when there are kind,

decent, peaceful people here

who want to live in a community

where there's love and goodness.

Looks like his brother

and talks like his mother.

That poor milksop

stands as much chance out here

as a snowflake

in the Sahara.

What about my father?

Rest his soul.

He practically

built this town.

Practically?!

I cleared timber,

drove nails, dug ditches!

What am I telling you for?

You English sissy!

But then he just sat around,

let it all turn sour,

let it fall

into the wrong hands.

Now it's a town of gamblin',

gunfightin',

hard drinkin',

and fast women.

Sounds pretty good to me.

[Chuckling]

But if a town changed

for the worse,

it could change for the better.

All it needs is faith,

courage, and conviction.

I'm ready to stay right here

and help you fight

to get this town back again.

Well, I guess he does have

a smidgen of spunk after all,

for a prune picker.

- Mr. Bloodshy!

- Yeah? Ooh.

I'm afraid

you won't be here long.

You ain't gonna finish

that race.

You know why?

Because there isn't

going to be any silly race.

What's he mean, no race?

If he cancels my race,

I'll cancel him!

I'm going across the street now

and talk to my brother.

We'll split this inheritance

and use the money

to make this a town

worth living in.

Behind those guns of his,

there's a fine,

decent human being.

[Laughter]

Mr. Bloodshy, do you really

believe all that?

I certainly do.

Yes.

Well, you're as crazy

as a coot.

He's as crazy as two coots.

Marcus will spread the word.

The whole town will be out there

with love and kindness

in their hearts.

Roxanne, ring those bells.

[Crowd murmuring]

I've heard enough,

Mansfield.

Now I don't have to hear

anymore.

% % Oh, come to the church

in the nave% %

[Gunshots]

[Piano notes play]

[Singing continues]

[Gun c*cks, gunshot]

[Notes playing]

% % Oh, come to the church

in the nave% %

% % No spot is so dear

to my child% %

Brother Billy, may I...

Brother Billy,

may I suggest...

[Gunshot]

Brother Billy, may I suggest

we put aside this contest

and join our hands together

for the benefit

of the community?

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

You're a-feared to race me.

Certainly not,

but I think it's silly

for two grown men

to compete with each other.

Now, if you don't run

in that race tomorrow,

you're nothin' more

than I thought you was.

A yellow-bellied, lily-livered

coward from the city.

Now you get outta here

afore I'm obliged

to blow your brains out.

[Singing continues]

But we still don't

have this settled.

And I'm not leaving here

until we do.

Oh, you're not, huh?

[Voice croaks] No.

[Laughter]

You ought to be more careful

with that gun.

[Laughter]

Say good night

to Brother Eli.

ALL:

Good night, Brother Eli!

[Laughter, gunshots]

[Singing continues]

Oh, Eli.

[Laughter]

We'll see you at the race

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