Hot Pursuit Page #6

Just in time to get my head blown off.

What are you doing? They charge

an arm and a leg for that stuff.

I would think

that you would love the minibar.

The things inside must feel so normal

in your little hands.

Why don't you go

and commandeer some food...

...from your cowboy boyfriend?

I am not going to dignify that statement

with a response.

I am, however, responsible for you...

...so I am gonna go next door

to get some food.

And, unfortunately, I have to do this.

Because, as you know,

you are a flight risk.

- Be right back.

- Come here.

Come here.

- Thank you.

- Okay.

Thank you for protecting me.

All right. Well, that's my job.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

I'll turn on the TV for you.

They tried to seduce me

with some lesbian stuff...

...but I'm a Christian,

so I wasn't interested in that.

Well, there was two of them. One was a

real tall gal with a nice figure...

...and she had a little blond boy with her.

Officer Cooper is 4' 9".

I am 5' 2".

- She's traveling with a 50-year-old suspect.

- Fifty!

Here, read a book.

I already know the ending.

Suit yourself.

Hello? Randy?

- Hey. Um...

- Aah!

Penis! My God.

Penis!

- I'm gonna get a towel.

- What? I'm sorry. Please.

I was gonna say that.

That's what I was gonna say. Um...

The reason I came was as follows:

I'm in a very difficult work situation...

...my blood sugar is getting

dangerously low, and I need food.

And I need you to get it for me.

- Yes.

- Yes, what?

Yes, I will have dinner with you.

No, I didn't say that.

I don't have meals with convicted felons.

Heh. I don't have dinner with dirty cops,

so I guess that makes us even.

Plus, you know, I'm the good kind of felon.

- There is no such thing.

- Sure is.

My sister was getting knocked around

by her boyfriend, so I beat him up.

Well, then that shouldn't be a f...

With a baseball bat, so...

A 10-41 Apple. Copy that.

And my other sister,

she dated a similar piece of sh*t.

Maybe call it my hot-button issue,

if you like.

I hope you don't have a third sister.

Three felony assaults,

plus a history of established behavior...

...will definitely end you up

in more than an ankle monitor.

More like a jumpsuit. Heh.

An orange one.

In prison. That's a...

Why are you smiling at me?

You're kind of intense.

Yeah, I've heard that before.

I dig it.

You do?

Yeah, I do.

There it is.

It was worth the wait.

Hey, you know what?

I gotta see something.

Aah! No, no, no. No, no, no.

No! I'm on duty, and that is

a very difficult work situation in there...

...and this is gonna have to wait

because time waits for no man.

Except this is the opposite,

time is waiting for every man.

But no man's gonna do this.

That's not what I meant.

What I meant was, section 428

of the Texas State Penal Code...

...forbids fraternization between

a officer... Never mind.

Why does that feel so good?

Now go get me food before I pass out.

You got it.

Something very bizarre

just happened in there.

You're going to be mad.

How'd you get my gun?

I took it during that pathetic excuse

of a hug that you gave me.

Now give me the key, I'm leaving.

This is not funny.

That's my gun and it's police property.

I'm not going to Dallas.

I was never going to testify.

I was just going to get away from Felipe

and start alone on my own.

So you have been lying to me

this whole time?

No.

Yes and no.

Mostly yes.

But that's not what is important right now.

This is what is insane.

You were not supposed to read that.

Heh, heh. "Mrs. Riva's constant use

of her physical assets...

...rather than her somewhat limited

mental capacity...

...suggests that she might not know

as much as the prosecution would hope."

I was saying you are not a criminal.

No, you were saying

that I was too dumb to be a criminal.

This is what happens...

...when you underestimate a book

because of its cover.

I did not underestimate you.

I overestimated you.

It turns out you're exactly who

I thought you were when I met you.

Shut up and untie this cheap bracelet.

Move it. Move.

- I'm moving.

- Move.

You're gonna need this!

- Gun! I gotta get the gun!

- No, you don't!

- I can't believe I trusted you.

- It's not my fault you let your guard down!

- Yes, it is!

- No!

- I refuse to have a catfight.

- Too bad!

What was your skill for Miss Plantain?

- Lying?

- Get off, hillbilly.

That is so dirty and disgusting!

Dirty? I'm gonna show

you dirty, Miss Piggy.

Is that the remote?

That thing is covered in germs.

It's like a toilet seat.

I got stuck!

Give it!

Tell me why that bag's so heavy.

- What?

- How many pairs of shoes are in there?

Twelve.

- Eighteen. 18.

- Show me.

Open the bag!

Hurry up.

You would never understand...

...but I needed the sparkly stilettos

to go out...

...and I need the sparkly stilettos

when I stay in...

- ...and I need the corky wedges, and I need...

- I have been in evidence for over three years.

Average pair of women's shoes

weighs about a half a pound.

You'd need over 80 pairs

in there for it to weigh that much.

Give me one of those.

What's this made of? Platinum?

No.

It's white gold and diamonds.

That's how my husband

smuggled money into this country...

...as presents for his

vain, dumb trophy wife.

How much is that bag worth?

- I don't know, I have limited mental capacit...

- How much is it worth?

About $4 million.

- What?

- I know.

It depends on how the commodities

are trading at the moment.

I'm putting all of that in evidence.

Just gonna need a lot of bags,

a huge label maker...

- ...but I'll make it happen.

- Hola, housekeeping!

- Turndown service.

- That's Dixon and Hauser.

We've gotta go!

Hurry!

Open up!

Goddamn it.

Dang it! Bring the bag!

Dixon. Dixon!

Goddamn. All right, you go that way.

I'll go the other way.

Get down.

I'm trying. It's more far for me.

Got you.

Hey, Chiquita, get back.

Hauser, you don't wanna do this.

You've already killed

one fellow officer today.

Yeah, but they say

it only hurts the first time.

Hey, I was just coming...

I told you

you should've stayed behind a desk, Coop.

Son of a...

- I'll call you.

- How you gonna find me?

I'll run your plates!

I'd like that.

Did you see that?

This is what we gotta do.

We gotta get a taxi or a shuttle

or something.

Okay, last call.

I need a taxi. Sorry, this is important.

Hi, I want to get in this bus.

Really?

Okay, welcome aboard.

I'm gonna need a taxi to Dallas.

Hey! Hey!

Come back here!

Hey! Get out of the way.

- I gotta get up there!

- Close the door!

- She looks like that dirty cop in the news.

- No! I'm a big fan of, um...

...Cowboy Noiz.

I'm the biggest fan they have, I wanna

get up close and personal with them.

- I'm sorry but this is...

- Well, you let her on!

Did she promise you favors?

Because I can promise you a good time too.

I'm a lady...

- I'm a lady looking for action.

- Okay...

Some sex-type action.

Giving and receiving of sex.

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