Hot Rod Page #3

your father's feeling well enough

to sit with us at the dinner table.

So I want everyone to promise me,

no fighting.

What're you looking at me for?

Kevin could fight him.

- I promise not to fight him.

- Thank you, Kevin.

- Rod?

- Fine, I promise.

Thank you.

Hi, Kevin.

Hey, Dad.

Thank you, dear.

Frank.

So, Frank.

I'm sure you've heard the plan

to get you a new heart is going great.

Nope.

Well, it is.

You can say thanks, if you wanted.

No, I'm good.

I know what you're doing, Frank.

You're trying to make me lose

my temper.

But it's not gonna happen.

I'm afraid cooler heads have prevailed.

You're the devil!

All right! That's enough.

Frank, back to bed.

Rod, outside.

Fine.

Have fun being married to Satan!

Nice work, Rico!

So, Denise. Tell me about Jonathan.

What's that dude all about?

Well, we've been going out

for about a year.

- And it's going well?

- Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, every relationship has

its ups and downs, but...

Right. I've heard that.

And he's a nice guy?

Oh, yeah. I mean, he's really smart.

He's actually in line to become

a junior partner at his law firm.

Right. Totally.

You guys should break up.

- What?

- Nothing. Hey, Dave's back.

You guys, the bathroom here is nuts.

What do I owe you?

$7.25.

So,

hi.

$2.39's your change. Thank you.

We don't talk much, do we?

Cathy, was it?

I'm Rod. I do awesome stunts.

All the time, with my friends.

You probably didn't know that.

And you probably have lots of cool stuff

about you that I don't know.

The point is, if you don't sit down

with someone and really talk

and get to know them,

you never find those things out.

So, what do you say?

You wanna make this thing official?

Are you asking me out?

Oh, Cathy!

Wow, Rod. I can't believe she said yes.

Yeah, well, you have only to believe if

you wish to achieve, Kevin.

That rhymed. Unintentional.

Man, Rod. I am just green

with jealous rage right now.

- She's really pretty.

- I know, D.

But it's more than that with Cathy.

It's emotional.

She really gets me.

Tell you what. Why don't you grab

that brainy beau of yours

and we'll make it a double date.

Really?

- Sure.

- Okay. That sounds like fun.

Great, because I also think

it sounds like fun.

A lot.

Frank.

I know you're sleeping,

but I just wanted you to know

that training is going really great.

My reflexes are sharp.

I'm crazy agile.

And I have a date.

So, anyways, that's the update.

Sleep tight.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, when you're going on a date

You put on a shirt

And you drive your bike to the date

Looks like you got stood up, huh?

No, she's coming.

Okay.

Hey, guys, can I take your order?

No, we're actually waiting for...

Yeah, we'll take

three Flaming Dr. Peppers.

Okay.

So, Super Dave.

Denise tells me you're working on

some pretty big-time stuff.

Yeah, well, I been doing stunts

since I was a kid,

so it's not really a big deal to me.

Yeah, me neither.

I was just being polite.

But thanks for letting me off the hook.

Jonathan.

Here we go.

Oh, speak of diablo.

Bombs away.

Boom! There's the flavor!

So, how's your mom holding up, Rod?

Oh, pretty good, I guess.

I mean, sometimes I think

she's really sad.

Holy sh*t, is that Sullivan? Sully!

- Bro, no way!

- No way, Sully.

Babe, I gotta say "what up" to Sullivan.

- Okay.

- Sweet.

Hey. Don't you two go falling in love

while I'm gone.

Like that'll happen.

Sullivan, you chode!

I owe you a shot to the nuts!

Maybe you should call her, Rod.

Just check in.

Nah. She hates it

when I try and keep tabs on her. So...

Hey, Denise?

Have I ever showed you a picture

of my dead dad?

- No.

- Oh, you've gotta see it.

He's super dead.

- That's him?

- Yeah.

He looks so nice.

He was a stuntman?

Oh, yeah.

He used to work for Evel Knievel,

testing his bikes before big jumps.

He would do the jumps first,

to make sure they were safe

and then let Evel come in

and get all the glory.

And, after a while, the old man said,

"To hell with that.

I want the credit I deserve."

So, one afternoon,

he set out to jump ten milk trucks.

He nailed the takeoff, but when he

landed, something terrible happened.

His front tire exploded like a cannonball

and his handlebars went

straight through his head.

Blood was everywhere.

His teeth were ground down to a powder

and the front of his face exploded

out the back of his skull.

He died instantly,

the next day.

That's horrible.

I know.

When my mom married Frank,

I kept my dad's last name

to honor his memory.

And every time I do a stunt,

I know he's watching.

Okay, people, training's going great,

but Frank's running out of time.

So I'm officially kicking off phase two,

Operation Fiscal Jackhammer.

Starting right now, we're gonna fill

this jug with 5 grand.

Let's work!

- All right. Who has the keys?

- Oh, man.

Rod, we're gonna be right there!

Oh, my God. Find them, find them!

I found the key.

They grow up so fast.

Get the f*** off my porch.

Sounds good.

Oh, no, Kevin!

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

- Is everything ready?

- Now?

- No, not now!

- Blow it now!

- You're a terrible stuntman.

- What?

- You're a terrible stuntman!

- What?

You're a terrible stuntman!

I'm just kidding. I can hear you.

It was just really mean.

Tai chi teaches that if you focus

your body and mind,

you'll be able to perform

at the peak of your abilities.

Yes, sensei.

You don't have to call me sensei, Rod.

Got it.

Sensei, I have a question.

Is there a tai chi move

that would make a grown man

crap his pants, and not know why?

I'm not gonna lie to you, Rod.

That move does exist.

But you're not ready for it yet.

As you wish, sensei.

Now we take the ball

and we push the ball away.

Yeah, we could.

Or you could cut the kiddie stuff

and show me the crap-yourself move.

That didn't work.

Anyways, I'm gonna get going, so,

take it easy.

I'm gonna go see what Frank's doing.

You wanted to see it, Rod.

Yeah, I did want you to show me,

and you didn't, 'cause it didn't work.

So now I'm gonna go, 'cause

there's nothing left for me to learn.

Thank you, though, for trying.

That was very nice of you to try.

Please believe

I do my laundry with no pants on

Hey, half-brother.

What you working on?

- Nothing. I'm just messing around.

- Oh, yeah?

Let's take a look.

- Okay, but it's not really finished, so...

- Got it.

That's something else

that I'm working on. For Mom.

- Not for me.

- Right.

Mom likes that stuff, so...

Here's the right one.

Dominique Wilkins.

I'm Rod Kimble,

stuntman extraordinaire.

Life is short.

- That's it.

- Holy moly, Kev-bot.

- That was beautiful.

- You liked it?

Are you kidding me? I loved it!

You're the next

Douglas Bubbletrousers!

Wow, Rod. Thanks.

Kevin, I just had a great idea.

Hey, Frank.

It's me, Rod.

I just wanted to let you know,

we've already raised over $3,000.

Soon, I'll jump 15 buses

Rate this script:4.8 / 5 votes