Hot Rod Page #5

- Cool

- Beans

- Cool, cool

- Beans, beans

- Cool

- Beans

- Cool, cool

- Beans, beans

- Cool

- Beans

- Cool, cool, cool

- Beans

Cool beans!

So, cool beans?

Yeah. Cool beans.

Good.

Because I have some exciting news.

So, before the screening,

I took the liberty of posting

some of the stunt footage online.

Great.

Well, I guess people

liked what they saw,

because it started to get sent around.

As of this morning,

it's been downloaded

over 100,000 times.

Seriously?

Yeah. It's bouncing around the web like

a beach ball at a Nickelback concert.

But that's not even the best part.

KNER called us.

- The AM radio station?

- Yeah.

They heard about the web stuff,

and how we're trying to save Frank

and they wanna sponsor the bus jump,

with all the proceeds going

to Frank's surgery.

And what'd you tell them?

I think you'll be needing this.

Oh, hey, Mr. Pasternack.

Hey, Kevin.

Hi. Mr. Pasternack, I'd like

to introduce you to my brother, Rod.

- Pleasure to meet you, son.

- Hi.

Mr. Pasternack is the owner of

the radio station that's funding the jump.

And I'm the number one DJ.

No sh*t.

I've gotta tell you, boys, I couldn't be

more excited about this jump.

When people hear me describing it over

the radio, they are going to remember

that AM radio is a viable and modern

source for news and entertainment.

Totally.

I used to be number one in this town,

but people don't listen to AM

like they used to.

Seems like it's more

about FM and color TV.

- That's stupid.

- It sure is, Kevin.

In fact, I've got a tattoo here

that fully illustrates my point.

It's of this rebellious young man,

and he's urinating on an FM radio.

And then this other stream of urine is

going onto that television set.

Implausible, I know,

but I like to imagine

that he had sex the night before,

and now a little bit of residue

is blocking his urethra,

allowing the urine to flow

in two separate directions.

You may also note that an AM radio

is sitting, safely dry, in the middle.

It's on a little magic carpet there.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

Now, Rod, I've spent

the station's last $15,000 on this.

So it has to be a big success.

You understand?

- You can count on me, sir.

- Excellent.

This is the big one, boys.

This is the one that brings us back.

Soon, AM radio will reign king

once more!

Honey, your phone's ringing.

What?

Don't worry, I got it.

Hello.

Hi, may I speak to Denise, please?

No, she's in the can.

Can I take a message?

- Jonathan?

- Yup.

Okay. You got a pen?

Yes, sir. Got one right here.

The message is,

"Denise, it's Rod.

"I'm jumping 15 buses tomorrow at

the fairgrounds. Hope you can make it."

Fifteen buses.

Wait, did you really write it down,

or are you just waving your arm

around in the air?

Come on.

Rod, you've got some imagination, kid.

Don't worry about it.

I'm gonna get her the message.

Okay.

Who was that?

Wrong number.

I give the old man a week.

Really insensitive, Bob.

He's had a bad day.

Maybe you should sit with him.

Hey, Frank.

I know you're not feeling so good,

but I need you to hold on a little longer.

The big jump's tomorrow.

We're gonna sell tickets

and people are gonna hear about it

at home on the AM radio

and donate money.

It's basically the perfect plan.

You're gonna get yourself killed.

Well, I'd rather die than live in a world

where I can't kick your ass.

Rod.

What?

You know why I've been so hard on you?

Because when I'm gone, you're gonna

have to be the man around here.

Frank, if I do land this jump,

will you respect me?

Not until you beat me in a fight,

you pathetic washout.

I can't wait to punch your face in.

And I can't wait for you to try.

What the hell? Was that because of us?

I dunno, man. It started off

super positive, then it just got crazy.

I did not like that at all.

No, Kev. None of us did.

Yeah, it was totally messed up.

It's disgusting how people will just,

you know, take something good

- and just take advantage of a situation.

- Yeah.

There was no time to do anything,

except just leave

and just hope that you're not hurt.

It's great to have you guys back,

by the way.

- Well, thank you, man.

- Feels good to be back.

- So, you wanna...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The dog walked itself home,

ate a pizza, and took a nap.

In local news,

self-proclaimed stuntman Rod Kimble

is going to attempt to jump

fifteen buses today.

We would bring you

coverage of the jump,

but apparently an AM radio station

has the exclusive broadcasting rights.

In other news, riots broke out...

Terrific.

Buckle your seatbelts

and open your ears,

it's a jump for the ages today

on KNER AM.

But first, here's Duke Wentworth

with A Jim-Jam Jubilee.

- All right, there you go.

- Here, Rod.

- Cool, what's your name?

- Matt.

Matt. You are cool. Don't be like Frank.

Rod. There you go.

Thanks, Rod.

All right, thanks, guys.

And don't let your dads eat pie.

Hey, Kev.

- Have you seen Denise anywhere?

- No, I haven't seen her all day.

- What was that?

- We just hit a raccoon.

Jonathan, don't you think

we should stop?

Oh, trust me, babe. That raccoon

would not have stopped for us.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God. I can't wait to tell Sullivan.

He'll be so psyched.

I'm gonna grab a Vitaminwater.

Should I make that dos?

No, thanks.

Coolio.

Hey, maybe I'll get a box of dong bags

so we can knock boots later,

what do you think?

Truly a momentous day for listening

as stuntman Rod Kimble

will jump 15 buses

in a last-ditch effort

to save his stepfather.

My oops, forgot my wallet.

Jonathan, Rod's doing the jump.

Oh, my God, who cares?

Babe, why do you hang

with those nerds?

I like those nerds.

Well, guess what?

You're embarrassing yourself.

It's only embarrassing if you care

what people think.

That's a good one. I like that.

- Babe?

- Goodbye.

Babe, wait. Babe, wait.

Babe, wait! Babe!

Babe, wait! Babe. Babe. Babe.

Babe! Babe, wait. Babe, no!

Babe, no! Babe, no!

Babe!

Babe, babe, babe! No, babe!

Wait!

No way.

You're gonna look

like a champion, Rod.

You guys, this thing is number one.

- Wait, Rod, there's more.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We were worried that the moped

might not be fast enough

to clear the jump, so...

No way.

Whoa.

Dave, this thing is number one!

Now, I know she doesn't look like much,

but trust me, man.

- She's got some kick. A lot.

- All right.

There's one more thing, Rod.

I know how you like explosions

and showmanship and stuff.

So, I rigged the whole jump

with fireworks.

Cool.

And I got you this rock to represent

all my hard work.

Oh, cool, Rico.

That's number one.

Yeah, you can pretty much just toss

that after the fireworks go off. It's cool.

Thanks.

Thanks, all of you.

Okay, everyone. It's the moment

we've all been waiting for.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Rod Kimble!

He's going in circles!

Rod!

Rod!

Rod!

Who wants to see me do

a big-ass stunt?

Ladies and gentlemen.

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