Hot Tub Time Machine 2 Page #6

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You're Nick Webber, man!

Let's take a picture!

I can't believe it's you, man.

I'm gonna send this to everyone.

- I'm gonna get, like, a billion views!

- Okay.

I remember when I first heard

that stupid song. I was like,

"Man, that song is so dumb."

Do the Strut.

- Do the Strut.

- No, I'm good.

You won't do the f***ing song?

- You want to see the Strut?

- Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Hey, yo! Check this out!

Nick Webber's in the house,

so get ready for the original

Webber Strut!

Before that, let's back it up.

Six years ago, see where it all began.

I made a lot of mistakes.

I've taken advantage.

And now I'm ready to be original.

This is dedicated to

those who never got to be,

because of me.

Strut to the time of the clock

It's midnight

Everybody strut right now

Nick Webber

Nick Webber

You don't know but you think you know

Nick Webber

Nick Webber

You don't know, but you will

Everybody do the

Strut, strut, strut

Everybody do the

Strut, strut, strut

Everybody do the

Oh, this room is so much better

than the other room.

What?

No!

Look at him go. Chip off the old block.

Okay, be nice.

Be nice. Be nice. Be nice.

Be nice. Be nice. Be nice.

Son!

Hey! What a coincidence!

Wondering where you ran off to,

but here you are.

Who let you in here?

Would you go find your murderer?

Think your old man can get in

on a little of this action? Or...

This is a private party.

This one's mine.

What? Yes! See?

Still got it!

What are the house rules here?

I just want to know what to do.

I don't want to break any rules,

get chucked out right away, you know?

- That'd be f***ed up.

- Touch me, you filthy vagrant.

Wait, what was that?

Nothing. It wasn't anything.

You just flickered.

No, I'd flickered? No, I didn't.

How did you do that?

He's threatening his own existence.

Lou, you can't be here,

'cause you're jeopardizing your future.

Would you mind

your own f***ing beeswax?

Whatever. I'm over this.

No! No!

No, no!

Long story short, the caterer

did talk us into the Chateaubriand,

which, you know,

I'll admit, is a sexy side of beef.

Sounds like it.

And I think you know

where I'm going with this.

You thought wrong.

Horseradish station. That's right. We're

gonna have the white and the reds,

separate service, different intensity.

It's gonna be great...

Wait a second. Nick?

You should play our wedding.

People would love to see the Strut

in person.

I'm sure they would.

Hey, what do you guys

want from the party tray?

Me?

I don't know.

I'm getting married tomorrow,

so I'm really trying to take it easy.

Yeah, you're getting married

for the rest of your life,

so why have any fun tonight at all?

Yeah.

- Uncle Lou is right.

- Don't call me that.

Give me the craziest thing you got.

Someone sounds like he wants

the Electric Ladybug.

The Electric...

Stick it right there.

What... I'm sorry, what exactly is that?

Don't take it off for 24 hours.

Why can't I take it off for 24 hours?

Yeah. What's so funny?

Relax. Relax.

It's just like baby aspirin.

Except more of a super-high

intensity psychotropic drug trip.

I promise you,

you're not gonna like this.

Bye-bye.

Horseradish.

Hello.

I'm a god!

I'm a f***ing god!

Sh*t.

Not in the dumpster.

I owe you 50 bucks.

Hey, lick my p*ssy.

Just kidding, guys.

I'm up here. What's up?

- What are you doing up there?

- Why are you down there, stupid f***?

You guys, last night,

my eyes

- opened.

- Okay.

I'm telling you, you guys,

you got to get up here.

I mean, the way the sun

is just dancing off these leaves...

Mr. Webber.

Hi. I'm from Choozy Doozy.

- I'm here to take you to the show.

- Show?

Yeah.

How about that?

Nick Webber has a show in 2025.

Still got it!

Right, but, I mean, we can't go

because we have to solve his murder.

Come on! Look. Hey, not flickering.

Maybe it's a lead. It's a fun lead.

Until somebody goes back in time

and kills you.

I can't miss my gig.

Okay, Choozy Doozy is my favorite show.

Wait, how did you find us?

I just go where the cars take me.

Okay, I'm coming down.

Do you think I can make

that dumpster, guys?

- No.

- No.

- Yeah, I think I can probably make it.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes! Come on!

Yeah, I think so, too, Lou. Thanks.

- Adam, stay right there.

- Stop. Adam!

- Come on!

- Baby Adam!

You can!

Stop, Lou!

Here I go. I'm gonna jump.

Holy f***...

Got you!

That was f***ing awesome!

- Oh, my God!

- How did you even do that?

I'm strong as f***.

Get ready for mischief, mayhem,

plenty of truths and more than one dare!

This is Celebrity Choozy Doozy!

Now, please welcome back

the host of the show,

Britt McShasaucey!

Thank you very much for that, Gill!

Welcome to our show!

We got a very, very exciting

show planned for you tonight.

Please help me welcome back

to the stage, musical sensation,

Nick Webber!

Hello?

Hey, honey,

guess where I am. Just guess.

Okay, shut up. I'm at Choozy Doozy.

Where have you been?

I tried to call you, like,

a hundred times.

What was with that crazy phone call

last night?

Crazy call? What do you mean?

You don't remember calling me

and telling me that you were a god?

No. Does that sound like me?

Listen, I had the most amazing night.

I did everything.

I punched a man in the face.

Just walked up to him.

Just punched him with my fist.

I felt like an ape. Like an ape.

I did Eskimo kisses

with this beautiful woman.

What are you talking about?

Honey, have you ever felt

that everything that you've experienced

and said up to this point is just a fraud?

Excuse me?

No. Okay, "fraud" is too strong a word.

It's more like a lie.

"Lie" is actually...

It's not right, either.

It's kind of a hard concept to...

Okay, bye, honey.

All right, that went well.

That went really well.

Our studio audience

will have the opportunity

to challenge you to specific tasks.

The best idea shall prevail.

Because this is...

Celebrity Choozy Doozy!

What is that, exactly?

Let me hear some ideas

from the audience.

- Come on! We want some new ideas!

- Eat a bunch of waffles!

Eat a bunch of waffles.

Very, very nice choice.

Juggle knives!

Very scary!

He could lose an arm!

That happened last week.

Swallow a watch!

Can you swallow a watch, Nick?

I hope not.

F*** a dude!

Whoa!

Okay!

Say some more stuff!

Say something else!

Now, remember, folks,

when you see something you like,

you make your selection,

and it'll show up here on the board.

I don't want to f*** a dude.

You're adorable.

This is the best day of my life.

What the f***'s wrong with everybody?

Waffles, waffles.

It's a neck-and-neck with...

Well...

Look at that.

Oh, hell, no!

You just got very lucky, my friend,

because you were almost

about to have to eat

a whole bunch of waffles!

I'm willing to do that. I'm willing...

I'll eat the waffles.

Okay, now...

Who had the idea of this man

fornicating with a gentleman?

Over here! This guy!

What's your name, sir?

Lou Dorchen.

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