Hotel Splendide Page #3

What you need is to

eat and sleep normally.

You might even enjoy

the new lunch menus.

Maybe.

But they refuse to let me

take my meals at night.

It is killing me.

Well, we aren't nocturnal,

and we aren't descended

from lemurs, Mr. Gorgonov.

Ah... isn't that better?

Oh!

Oh my god!

Oh!

Oh!

[SHRIEK] Enough!

Stop!

Enough!

God!

How come that Stanley

kid's excused from this?

He doesn't like water.

His parents were

friends of Mummy.

They brought him here.

They paid for his upkeep.

Not that it does him

much good, poor thing.

How about a zits bath?

Absolutely, definitely not.

Do you really like

those sun treatments?

Like them?

Are you crazy?

They allow me time with Miss

Blanche, during which we have

many stimulating discussions.

Stimulating discussions?

Don't you think it's about

time you tried something new?

Set her free.

I know how awkward

it must be for you,

but at least you're there

to keep an eye on her.

Goodness knows what havoc

she might wreak if we

let her run loose in the hotel.

Follow me.

Now, don't run.

Here we go.

[WHISPERING]

[BANGING]

Oh, at last.

Little punts.

Get 'em in the bag.

I've been through all the record

sleeves, the files... nothing.

It's heartbreaking.

Meals just aren't the same.

It's only a record.

It's her voice.

Mummy's voice.

I'm sure it will turn up.

Just the one crayfish left?

Well, I'm not having

that other thing.

That homeopathic soup.

She can have that.

One crayfish, one Potiphar.

Thanks.

Four crayfish, one Potiphar.

Leave those, and get four ready!

Get two more, and

put 'em in the pot.

You'll upset the boy.

You, out!

Don't worry.

We're not going to

make you kill them.

Somebody's going

to have to do it.

I'm not a bloody octopus.

[SCREAMING] Oh, sh*t!

Think I'll go and freshen up.

What are you looking at?

People who want

to eat out there.

(SINGING) I get constipation

whenever you're not here.

My guts, they get all frozen.

My belly feels all queer.

It's nothing that I've eaten,

I'm careful how I chew.

My allergies are all controlled.

I think it might be you.

I went to see my doctor

about my number twos.

He says the strongest laxative

is seeing more of you.

[CLAPPING]

With that talent, you

should be on the mainland.

The mainland?

Yes, the mainland.

I've thought about that.

I... I really have.

Then what are you waiting for?

Waiting for?

Well, I couldn't.

I... I can't cross the...

You came here on the

ferry, didn't you?

The ferry?

I did.

That's right, boy.

Across the water.

I did.

I did.

I remember.

And why did your

parents send you here?

They said I... I

needed treatment.

They... they said I

had unclean urges.

Unclean urges?

What's wrong with that?

No, Stanley, you're

confusing yourself.

It was the water.

Remember?

Because you're so

afraid of water.

But you're much better now.

Very stable, aren't you?

Yes, I'm very stable.

Because you stick to

your regime, don't you?

Do you like being stable?

Naps.

Secret of a balanced

constitution.

Little naps.

Five or six times a day.

[GRUNTING]

All those years she

blatantly favoritized us.

I never took Ronnie's side.

I never once stood up for him.

[GRUNTING] There is

a definite impaction

in the transverse colon.

[GRUNTING]

Better?

I am!

I am!

I am.

I found you all.

Unblocked?

That's better.

That's better.

Dear angel, you're the

only one who understands.

What is it?

Please to follow?

This isn't, uh... a very

good time, Mr. Gorgonov.

My god.

My god.

Sergei...

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

May I have the pleasure?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUFFLED VOICES]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLAPPING]

For you, Kath.

For you.

I was, uh, wondering

if you could help me?

Help is... well, help is

what we think I need.

And being here

has... has helped me.

I really... I really think it

has, but there is more to this,

isn't there?

There's definitely

more than this.

Kath, the thing that

grown up people do... well,

I've never done it.

And I was wondering, if

I did, it would help me

to be a man, instead of a boy.

There's no one here, Kath.

There's no one but you, and

I think you're wonderful.

Would you... would

you think... well,

could you think about doing

that with someone like me?

I'm not what you're

looking for, Stanley.

Do you know how many

girls are on the mainland?

I mean, you're a

good looking man.

Did you know that?

- Good looking?

I'm just looking.

Stanley, you're too

good for this place.

Just don't get

trapped here, like...

Like you did.

Like I... almost did.

She's out there.

Stanley.

Waiting.

Yeah, out there,

but... the water.

But you weren't afraid of water

before you came here, were you?

Try.

Try to remember.

I should leave now, shouldn't I?

While I still have the chance.

Thank you, Kath.

Thank you.

Bye, Kath.

If you want to help, you can get

started on those [INAUDIBLE].

How can you still be here?

This isn't so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Not so bad.

Ah... ah... ah!

Ah!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

I thought if I

could just hang on,

it might be possible to

change... really change things.

Must have been out

of my bloody mind,

with Desmond running the place.

Come.

Come!

Oh... come on.

Come on.

Get up!

Come on!

[COUGHING]

Whoa!

No!

No, I won't go back!

Stanley!

Stanley!

Stanley!

I won't!

No!

What were you doing, Stanley?

Stealing away.

I was leaving.

I thought I was ready.

You told me I was.

I did.

But I... I got it wrong.

I need more time here.

It's me.

I'm unstable.

That's not your

fault, it's mine.

Yeah, well, um... you

get some rest, eh?

Aye.

Get your strength back.

My strength.

Right.

My strength.

[WATER GUSHING]

Ah!

Bugger!

No!

No!

Aye, the [INAUDIBLE].

Check the methane

converter again.

It's running at full capacity.

They're shitting too much.

What?

The guests.

The system was designed

for this much sh*t.

It's running too rich.

She's poisoning us

with her filthy food.

You want my opinion,

the Smith boy may only

be the first of her casualties.

It had nothing to

do with her cooking!

Well, well.

You prefer Ronald to me, you do.

I can tell.

He can swim well.

He's mature.

He's not that mature.

Kath, get away.

Get away now.

Take him with you.

She's too strong.

She's too strong.

You promise me.

Promise.

Well, this simply cannot

be allowed to continue.

The system is breaking

down, and there

was nearly a death last night.

I've done everything

we discussed.

There are daily special offers.

It's not my fault...

Nobody's blaming Cora.

Are we, boys?

- No, no.

Of course not.

But treatment is her department,

and enemas are extra.

The hotel simply isn't

viable without that revenue.

But Ronnie, what are you saying?

There must be

something we can do.

They don't go for

treatments because they

don't need them anymore.

Don't need them?

Of course they do.

It's part of the regime.

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