House II: The Second Story Page #4

---

Give it back! It's my skull!

(Charlie stammering)

- In there's the kitchen.

- Yeah, yeah.

Look, we just wanna

know everything's okay.

- Couldn't be better.

- Oh, really? Good, yeah.

- Nice, nice bird.

(screeching)

Okay, all right, all right, I know.

(clanging)

- Listen, I wanted to tell you

before the evening got away,

you are a funny, funny guy.

And I mean that.

That is the hardest commodity

to find in our business, really.

Look at this shirt, is this great?

Is this him?

- [Lana] Yeah, it's goofy.

- You know, bananas, bananas.

(screeching)

- [Jesse] Stay!

(muffled screeching)

- Where's the beer?

- What are you doin' our here?

Quick, somebody's comin'!

- Yeah, they go all the

way around the back, they do.

(grunts)

(suspenseful music)

- Ah ha.

- [Jesse] Hi, John.

- Hi, buddy, what'scookin'

in the kitchen?

- Nothing.

- No?

And what might be in that closet there?

- Nothing.

- Nothing.

Well, can I see?

- John, I just told you,

there's nothing in the closet.

- Well, let me see nothing

in the closet.

It wouldn't happen to be

your old friend Rochelle

in there, would it?

- John, what is it you are

accusing me of in my own house?

- I'm not accusing you of anything.

I'm just asking a question,

but I do think Kate

would like an explanation.

- You want an explanation?

All right.

All right, I'll give you

an explanation.

Kate, Kate, get in here.

- [Kate] What's going on here?

- [Jesse] Kate,

I need to talk to you.

- Why are you yelling?

- I'm not yelling.

Now, Kate, you know

that since we've got here

there's been some strange things

going on in this house.

No, I, Charlie!

Char, they want an explanation,

I'm gonna give 'em one.

All right, now listen.

All right, now, Charlie and I,

last night,

went to the cemetery and we dug up

my great-great-grand father's grave.

'Cause we were looking

for a crystal skull.

It's supposed to be magic.

Anyway, we dug it up

and we got the skull,

but we also found

my great-great-grandfather.

He was dead, but he's alive,

I mean he's a mummy

and we brought him back

and he's been staying

in the basement.

And Charlie and

I've just been running

through this jungle trying to

get the skull back.

And that's who's in there

for your information,

Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

(sighs)

- Hi, Rochelle.

What are you doing in here?

(slams)

There's been a mistake.

- Apparently.

- Uh, you don't understand.

- I understand perfectly.

- No, Kate, listen to me.

I have no idea

she was doing in there.

- Well, who did you

think was in there?

- A mummy!

Or maybe even a baby pterodactyl.

(smacks)

Ow.

(grunts)

(smacks)

- Shame on you, Jesse.

- Look, it's a prehistoric bird!

(squawks)

Kate!

(car honking)

- Here, let me get those from you.

(huffs)

- [Charlie] Good riddance.

She's outta here.

Now we can do whatever we want,

run around in our underwear,

phony phone calls,

all kinds of crazy--

- Shut up, Charlie!

Why can't you shut

your mouth just once?

- Surprise!

- Gramps, where's Rochelle?

- Watch this.

- Jesse.

- [Jesse] Whoa.

- I waited so long for you.

- Uh-huh, Rochelle,

it's great to see you,

but I'm having some family

problems right now.

You understand?

Charlie, can you call

Rochelle a cab?

- Hey, Chucky.

- Hey, don't call me Chucky, okay?

- It was very sweet of you to come.

Thanks.

(softly squawking)

Hey there, birdie.

How 'bout a little trade, huh?

'Kay?

(softly squawking)

Come on, give it to Daddy.

Come on.

- [Charlie] Whoa!

(squawking)

(cries)

I think he wants some more.

- [Charlie]

I don't have any more steak.

(grunts)

(laughing)

(barking)

- Now, now, now,

I know that smells good,

I know it smells good.

Daddy's gonna have it ready

right away, right away.

That's a puppy.

Yep, yep, yep, I know.

I know. Daddy knows.

Daddy made the nana.

Open your mouth.

There.

(laughing)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Yep, yep.

- Gramps?

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

You got me a little upset.

- Well, I, I was just hankerin'

to play a joke on somebody and...

I'm sorry it turned out to be you.

That's enough, Bippy.

Bippy, Bippy, that's enough.

(growling)

Now don't you, Bippy.

(growling)

(growling)

(whining)

Oh, now look,

just come on out and play.

That's it. There you go.

- Um, Gramps, look,

I gotta get to bed.

Do you want me to put the skull

back in the fireplace?

- I'll, I'll take care of that.

(door creaking)

(mystical music)

(clinking)

(suspenseful music)

(clinking)

(gun clacking)

(suspenseful music)

(shrill barking)(gasps)

(barking)

(sighs)

(laughing)

Bippy, you little rascal.

(laughing)

You scared the be

jesus out of me.

(intense music)

(smacking)

(groaning)

(barking)

(shouting in foreign language)

(barking)

(Bippy whining)

(barking)

(urgent barking)

- Gramps. Gramps.

(barking)

- Jesse, Jesse boy.

- [Jesse] Are you all right?

- They bushwhacked me.

It musta been 30, 40 of 'em.

They come at me from all directions.

- Charlie, get up!

Charlie, come on. Charlie.

Charlie, wake up!

Get up!

Charlie, come on, come on,

come on, come on.

Oh, Jesus, Charlie, come on!

Charlie! Charlie, get up!

- Jess, this better be real important.

- Gramps lost the skull.

- He what?

- Somebody, I don't know who,

stole it.

He's dying Charlie.

We gotta get it back.

- After all we did for him,

he loses it!

I can't believe he did that, Jess!

I mean, I've never met anyone

so irresponsible!

You know I risked my life--

- Charlie!

(doorbell ringing)

Yeah?

- Bill, Bill Towner, electrician.

- [Jesse] Uh, Jesse McLaughlin.

- Nice to meet you, Jesse.

A young lady called, said you

needed some work done.

- She did, huh? Oh, wait--

- Where's the fuse box,

down there in the basement?

- Uh, listen, Bill,

I'm sorry to trouble you,

but this really isn't the right time.

- Hey, that's all right, Jess,

I'm not gonna get in your way.

You just show me what needs fixin'.

This is quite a room you got here.

Yeah, very, very nice.

That's a weird fireplace though.

- Yeah, uh, Bill...

- So what do we got in here?

Ah, there it is.

Freemon 240, these old houses

are loaded with 'em.

So this the room you're havin'

problem here with, Jess?

- Uh, yeah, all along this wall,

but the rest of the house is fine.

(glass shattering)

I wouldn't worry about that, Jesse.

It didn't look too valuable.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Just as I'd expected.

Jess, you got a problem here,

but hey, like with any problem,

you know,

you don't wanna let it

get the best of you.

You know, I've been

workin' on these houses,

oh, about 20 years now

and I've seen enough tragedy

and disaster to make you wanna

up chuck in your shorts.

You see, these old houses,

they just got minds of their own,

you know, and ya just gotta

teach 'em who's boss.

You know, sorta give 'em a spankin'.

(glass shattering)

Huh, must be foreign made.

Well, I'm gonna fix this old

house up for you, Jess,

just like it's brand spankin' new.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes