House of 1000 Corpses Page #10

---

Sitting dead center in the middle of the road is a HUMONGOUS

DOG. The dog stares straight ahead. Long strands of drool

hang from its mouth to the ground.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

MARY:

Why are we stopping?

BILL:

There's a dog in the road.

DENISE:

Honk at him. Scare him.

BILL:

(honking horn)

He won't move.

MARY:

Go around him.

BILL:

There's not enough room.

MARY:

Then run him over, he'll move.

BABY:

No! He's one of God's creatures, he

can't help it if he's dumb... I'm

just crazy about animals.

MARY:

(to Denise)

The animals have got nothing to do

with it.

EXT. STRANGER'S POV - SAME

A gun barrel is raised and we are looking through the sight

at the car. Pop! Pop! Pop! The GUN fires THREE SHOTS at the

car's rear tire.

The stranger whistles and the dog moves to the side of the

road.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

The SOUND of the heavy rain MASKS the gunshots.

BILL:

Hey, he moved.

MARY:

Let's get going before that thing

tries to eat the car or something.

As the car moves past, Denise stares at the dog sitting calmly

to the side of the road. The dog blankly stares back at her.

JERRY:

That reminds me of a film I saw once

of a guy who got out of his car at

Lion Country Safari to take a picture

of a lion cub and got eaten by the

lions.

BILL:

Oh yeah, I heard about that. I always

thought it was bullshit.

JERRY:

No... yeah, they ripped him to pieces

while his family watched from the

car. The wife is screaming, the kids

are crying. Some dude in another car

filmed the whole thing.

BABY:

I'd like to see that.

MARY:

Nice.

JERRY:

The lions were totally covered in

this guy's blood... I think they ate

his face off, tore open his rib cage,

pulled his legs off... it was a wild

scene.

BABY:

Things like that get a lot bloodier

than ya think.

Without warning the car lunges to one side.

JERRY:

What was that?

BILL:

F***. I think we blew a tire.

MARY:

Don't even say it.

DENISE:

You got to be f***ing joking.

MARY:

God damn it, I knew this witch-hunt

was f***ing bullshit.

BILL:

OK, let's relax. I'll check it, maybe

I'm wrong. Don't everybody freak out

just yet.

JERRY:

I'll help ya.

BILL:

(sarcastic)

Gee, ya think it wouldn't be too

much trouble.

EXT. CHERRYPICKER ROAD - WOODS - NIGHT

Bill and Jerry stare down at the blown tire sunk in the mud.

BILL:

I hope you fixed the spare like I

asked ya.

JERRY:

Yeah, I fixed it. Well, I ain't...

um, I can't remember. I think I took

it out to fit the bags and forgot to

put it back.

BILL:

Jesus Christ, Jerry.

JERRY:

Well, technically I did what ya said.

BILL:

You're a real f***ing piece of work.

Bill stares at Jerry in disbelief.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

Baby is leaning on her chin staring at Mary and Denise. The

car radio plays in the background.

MARY:

Can I help you with something?

BABY:

I was just wondering.

MARY:

Wondering what?

BABY:

Are you two gals all funny with each

other?

MARY:

What?

BABY:

You know... a couple of queers.

MARY:

Do you believe this f***ing girl?

BABY:

(turning her attention

to Mary)

I was just wondering, cause you got

a pissy look about you... like a

real p*ssy licking b*tch.

Denise tries to QUICKLY defuse the situation.

DENISE:

No. No p*ssy licking here, but thanks

for your concern.

Bill and Jerry slide back into the car.

BILL:

Well, I got some bad news and some

bad news.

Rate this script:2.9 / 7 votes