House of 1000 Corpses Page #11

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MARY:

What?

JERRY:

(fake Scottish accent)

Tire's f***ing gone crap on us, man.

There's no saving it now.

BILL:

And the spare is safely sitting in

Jerry's garage.

DENISE:

For f***ing sake Jerry, what the

f*** are we gonna do?

Baby starts laughing.

MARY:

What the hell are you laughing about?

BABY:

I just pictured the tire sitting in

a chair watching TV.

MARY:

Oh, wonderful.

(muttering to herself)

F***ing psycho.

BILL:

I guess I'll try to back it out on

the rim... at least to the main road.

BABY:

If you keep going straight you can

get back on the interstate... it's

easier.

MARY:

Just back up.

JERRY:

I think we should go straight. I

mean we know for a fact there ain't

nothing back that way, right?

BABY:

Oh wait! I love this song!

Baby reaches over and TURNS UP the VOLUME. She loudly sings

along with the song.

BILL:

Fine. I'll go straight.

MARY:

What!

BILL:

(over the loud music)

Fine! I'll go straight!

The car moves forward. After about fifty yards the car HITS

something hard and gets stuck in a deep mud bog.

BILL:

F***! We are f***ed!

DENISE:

Turn that f***ing radio off!

Bill shuts off the radio.

DENISE:

Now what are we gonna do?

BABY:

We can walk to my house from here.

My brother's got a tow truck, he can

come get your car.

A silence falls over the car.

MARY:

I think I'm going f***ing crazy.

DENISE:

I can't believe...

BILL:

OK, whatever. Let's go get your

brother's truck. Faster we get the

truck, faster we get out of here.

BABY:

OK.

JERRY:

I'll go. It's my fault.

MARY:

You said it, not me.

BILL:

Forget it. I'll just go.

MARY:

Screw that, no way, I ain't letting

you go by yourself.

BILL:

Don't worry, I'll be quick. Just

stay here, no sense everybody getting

drenched.

JERRY:

I agree.

BABY:

Yeah, it won't take long and besides

you sassy poodle girls will slow us

down.

Baby jumps up and gets out of the car.

BILL:

Don't worry, I'll be right back.

BABY:

Come on.

JERRY:

Don't forget the flashlight, it's

pretty dark out there.

BILL:

Thanks.

JERRY:

No problem.

Bill kisses Mary good-bye and EXITS.

Mary watches Baby and Bill head off into the WOODS. Baby

turns and makes a kissy face at Mary.

EXT. MISS BUNNY'S HOLLYWOOD REVUE - DAY

A hand painted tin sign surrounded by flashing lights which

reads MISS BUNNY'S HOLLYWOOD REVUE hangs over the entrance

to a small garage.

Movie star portraits of JEAN HARLOW, W.C. FIELDS and CLARK

GABLE adorn the walls of the garage.

An over the hill ex-glamour girl, MISS BUNNY, 55, comes into

frame. She's dressed in a sparkling red gown with feathers

in her hair.

MISS BUNNY:

(bad Marilyn Monroe

imitation)

Hi, I'm Miss Bunny and welcome to my

Hollywood Revue...

(she giggles)

...where the stars shine forever.

INT. MISS BUNNY'S HOLLYWOOD REVUE - DAY

Tinseltown lives. Tin foil is wrapped around everything, the

walls, doors and ceiling. Fake cement handprints of movie

greats cover the tiny floor. Badly sculpted statues of MARILYN

MONROE, GROUCHO MARX and JOHN WAYNE stand in the corners.

Dead center is a small puppet show stage.

MISS BUNNY:

Hi, this is the place where the magic

happens.

CLOSE UP - SQUIRREL

A stuffed squirrel dressed in a gray skirt and jacket, a

tilted hat sits atop its head.

MISS BUNNY:

(holding up squirrel)

This is Jenny, she is our resident

Ingrid Bergman.

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