House of 1000 Corpses Page #12

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Miss Bunny picks up a stuffed white cat wearing a brown

trenchcoat.

MISS BUNNY:

This is Ronald J. Perrywinckle...

our Humphrey Bogart... today we'll

be doing a scene from Casablanca.

Miss Bunny begins to make the dead animal puppets interact.

She provides their voices.

HUMPHREY CAT:

If that plane leaves the ground and

you're not with him you'll regret

it... maybe not today, maybe not

tomorrow but soon and for the rest

of your life.

INGRID SQUIRREL:

But what about us?

HUMPHREY CAT:

We'll always have Paris. We didn't

have, we lost it... until you came

to Casablanca. We got it back last

night.

INGRID SQUIRREL:

When I said I would never leave you.

HUMPHREY CAT:

And you never will.

EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

A single flashlight beam cuts through the darkness of the

dense woods. Bill stumbles behind Baby, she is clearly in

her element.

BILL:

How much further?

BABY:

Almost there... are you in a hurry

or something?

BILL:

Well, yeah, kind of.

INT. CAR - NIGHT

Jerry is stretched out across the front seat, reading a book

on Freak Shows. Denise and Mary sit in the back, curled up

under layers of blankets and clothes.

DENISE:

F***, it's freezing.

JERRY:

Hey, listen to this... I think this

is related to our Dr. Satan.

DENISE:

Oh, yeah.

JERRY:

Yeah, in this book there's a chapter

called Self Made Freaks about how

people would mutilate themselves in

order to work in a freak show. It

mostly talks about tattooed people

and wild men of Borneo and sh*t like

that, but there is one mention of a

single case where a woman was

suspected of having her arms removed

on purpose to become an arm-less

wonder.

DENISE:

Yeah, so how does that fit with the

story of four morons with a flat

tire looking for a dead tree?

JERRY:

It says, "records show that Ellie

Thompson was born in 1914 of normal

physical stature and lived a life of

normal bearings, until such time

that she was placed in the care of

the Willows State Mental Facility."

DENISE:

So.

JERRY:

Now she was put in the nuthouse in

1930 at the age of 16.

DENISE:

Why?

JERRY:

(scanning the book)

Blah, blah, blah... it doesn't say,

but she was released sometime in

1937, only to reappear as Ellie

Bogdan, the arm-less wonder. Says

she, "criss-crossed the United States

constantly in carnivals and freak

shows until her death in 1946."

DENISE:

Yeah?

JERRY:

These dates perfectly correspond

with the time frame of our beloved

Dr. Satan working at the looney bin.

I'll bet he amputated her arms.

DENISE:

So what?

JERRY:

I don't know, I just thought it was

interesting.

DENISE:

You know what Jerry, who really cares

at this point?

JERRY:

I don't...

(to himself)

...I just thought it was weird.

MARY:

(bursting in)

God damn it, I must be f***ing crazy

to let him go off with that crazy

f***ing b*tch.

JERRY:

Huh?

MARY:

That stupid hillbilly slut.

JERRY:

Oh, don't blow everything out of

proportion.

MARY:

You didn't see the look she threw

me. She's up to something.

DENISE:

Yeah, Jerry, she said some pretty

f***ed sh*t to us.

JERRY:

When?

DENISE:

When you were outside with Bill.

MARY:

She said we look like p*ssy lickers

or some sh*t like that.

DENISE:

Yeah, she said we looked queer.

JERRY:

Aw, get over it, she's just some

dopey redneck, she ain't smart enough

to be up to nothing... I mean

anything... chicks.

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