House of 1000 Corpses Page #14

---

BILL:

So, you live here alone... I mean

with just your brother?

BABY:

(speaking from the

next room)

No. There's a bunch a us 'round

somewhere... I think Mamma's sleepin'.

She sleeps a lot, now... do you want

marshmallows?

BILL:

Um, yeah sure, I guess.

BABY:

You sure do a lot of guessing.

Baby sets down the tray, making sure to bend over close to

Bill. She hands him his drink and sits down next to him.

BILL:

Thank you.

BABY:

You're welcome.

Baby moves closer to Bill, he begins to get nervous.

BILL:

Hey, um...

(pointing to the

mounted animal head

over the fireplace)

...what kind of animal is that?

BABY:

A dead one.

BILL:

(sipping his drink)

Mmmmm, this is tasty.

BABY:

(scoops out some

marshmallow with her

finger)

Ain't the only thing tasty in this

house.

(licks it off)

BILL:

I wonder what time it is. Seems kind

of late.

BABY:

Don't worry, sugar. It ain't past my

bedtime... are you flirting with me?

BILL:

What? No, I'm was worried that... I

was just wondering what's taking so

long.

BABY:

Oh. Maybe R.J. got into a crash and

killed everbody?

BILL:

That's not something to joke about.

BABY:

(rolls her eyes)

OK, sorry... maybe the Great Pumpkin

ate 'em up.

Finally, the SOUND OF A TRUCK pulling up can be HEARD.

Bill jumps up and goes to the window.

BILL:

Hey, great they're back.

BABY:

(sarcastically)

Whoopie f***ing doo.

TV SCREEN - SAME

On the B+W screen we see DR. WOLFENSTEIN, a local horror

movie host. He looks like a cross between the WOLFMAN and

LON CHANEY in LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT.

DR. WOLFENSTEIN

(sounds like Wolfman

Jack)

Aaaahooooh, the Doctor is in! Don't

move, don't scream. Stay tuned for

more creature craziness from channel

68's Halloween eve movie marathon.

I'm your host... your ghost host

with the most, baby... Dr. Wolfenstein

and will be with you until the end.

Aaaaaaahooooooh!

EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

Bill stands on the front porch watching as the truck roughly

jerks the car to a stop.

Jerry jumps out, opens the back door and helps Denise.

JERRY:

(looking at Bill)

Hey, nice outfit Billy Bob.

DENISE:

Thanks for coming to get us. Little

brother almost scared us to death.

JERRY:

(quietly to Bill as

he passes)

Dude, your chick's a little high

strung.

Mary is the last one out of the car. She says nothing as she

walks to join the others on the porch.

Her look says it all as she walks by Bill and into the house.

BILL:

Mary, I'm sorry but he left without

me. Mary... come on, you don't think

I'd leave you stranded out there.

INT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

Everyone stands around at the fireplace, trying to dry off.

DENISE:

Look. I gotta call my Dad and tell

him we're gonna be late. Can I use

your phone?

Baby sits silently watching TV.

DENISE:

Excuse me, may I please use your

phone?

MARY:

(sarcastically)

Bill, why don't you ask her... she's

your special friend.

A VOICE from upstairs answers.

MOTHER:

Ain't got one.

MOTHER comes into view from the darkness above. She is in

her fifties, but looks younger. A sleazy white trash queen.

She slowly descends the stairs.

DENISE:

Huh? Oh, hi. You really don't have a

phone?

MOTHER:

No, none. I had one once, back in

'57 maybe... I don't know. Really

ain't nobody we wanna be jaw flapping

at around here no more.

JERRY:

Hey, maybe the guy with the tow truck

could drive us to a phone.

MOTHER:

His name is Rufus, Rufus Jr., but we

all call him R.J.

Rate this script:2.9 / 7 votes