House of 1000 Corpses Page #15

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JERRY:

Oh, right.

MOTHER:

What do they call you, sweety?

JERRY:

Um, I'm Jerry... that's Bill... Denise

and Mary.

BILL:

Yeah, maybe R.J. could just tow us

and our car to the nearest garage.

DENISE:

I mean obviously we will compensate

you for your troubles.

MOTHER:

Oh, you ain't no troubles, no, no,

no fuss.

(claps her hands)

Baby... go see what Rufus Jr. is

doing with these nice folks'

automobile.

Baby slowly rises like a defiant child and walks out of the

room.

MOTHER:

In the meanwhile please make

yourselves at home.

DISSOLVE TO:

MONTAGE:

Gruesome crime scene photos flash across the screen.

CHILDREN:

(singing, off screen)

98 bodies in your bed, Some are green,

some are red. Eat the flesh and pick

the bones, Drink the blood when you

get home. 99 bodies in the ground,

Some are blue, some are brown. Gather

'round the people said, Where do you

go when you are dead?

INT. FARMHOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Mother, Jerry, Denise and Mary are all seated on the sofa.

Bill sits in an easy chair.

MOTHER:

So, what brings you kids way out

here, ain't you got something better

to do for Halloween than wander around

out here in the sticks?

JERRY:

Well, I thought I'd maybe take in a

hoedown.

MOTHER:

(flirting)

Oh, really...

(puts her hand on

Jerry's knee and

winks)

...well, I'm a pretty good dancer if

you know what I mean... I bet I got

a few moves you ain't never seen.

JERRY:

I don't doubt that.

DENISE:

No, he's just joking. We don't really

have any plans other than spending

the night at my Dad's house...

(glances at Jerry)

...which is where we were headed

when our car broke down.

MOTHER:

That's nice.

DENISE:

Yeah, I guess I'll just help him

hand out candy to the trick or

treaters.

JERRY:

And I'm gonna help put the razor

blades in the candy apples.

MOTHER:

I'll bet you are... you are a naughty

little thing aren't ya.

JERRY:

I was just kidding.

Bill and Mary snicker at Jerry's comments. Denise tries to

keep a straight face.

MOTHER:

Oh, I get it... I guess you think

you're too good for the simple

pleasures of Halloween.

MARY:

No, just a little too old.

MOTHER:

Oh really, well I hope something

changes your mind some day.

Baby returns from the garage.

BABY:

Tiny's home.

MOTHER:

What about R.J.?

BABY:

Oh, he was already gone before I

seen him... but Tiny saw him and

said he said he was going out to the

yard to get a new wheel.

BILL:

The yard, what's that?

MOTHER:

It's an old auto junkyard out in

Baldwin.

DENISE:

How long is that gonna take?

MOTHER:

He should be back in a couple hours.

MARY:

A couple hours!

DENISE:

Can't Tiny drive us to a phone?

Mother and Baby laugh.

MOTHER:

(laughing)

Tiny ain't got no car, he ain't even

got a bicycle.

DENISE:

How's he get around out here?

BABY:

He walks, duh.

MARY:

F***ing great.

MOTHER:

I know you're my guests and welcome

but I'd please advise you to keep

from cussing while in my house, thank

you.

MARY:

Sorry.

MOTHER:

Well, even though I know it seems

childish to you all. Tonight is

Halloween eve and it special to us

so you are all invited to stay for

dinner.

Under the circumstances they realize they have no choice.

They grin and bear it.

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