Housesitter Page #3

- Or dressed.

- Whoops.

So I see you've already found

a spot to put your chair.

Oh, yes.

Well, I'm just trying it out.

Oh, what's that?

It's just a little something

to help you get started.

Oh no,

I really couldn't.

Wow!

After all,

he is our only son.

Let's go spend it.

Hi, Davis.

Hi.

Martin,

I've been thinking about the house

in Dobb's Mill, about selling it.

- Sell it.

- I could pay back everyone I owe money to.

I agree. Could you

take a look at this?

Keeping this house is like

hanging onto the past.

- The only entrance is through

the air conditioning duct.

I was trying to solve that.

I think it's preventing me from having

any real relationship with another woman.

Right, with

Denise or Patricia.

Or like

that waitress the other night.

- The one who didn't speak English?

- Very interesting woman.

- You've got people exiting

into a wall! - Uh-oh.

- Did you sleep with her?

- Oh, gee, you know...

Yes, and I woke up in the

middle of the night...

- completely tied up in knots.

- Okay!

No, I mean

as in anxiety.

And I did this horrible thing;

I left.

I know what it is, it's Becky.

I gotta close the book on that.

- I'm gonna sell the house.

- There you go.

We just talk and talk.

There's so much to talk about.

We have this amazing communication.

It's like Chinese food.

Excuse me?

- Like on Thursdays

and you can't deal with dinner?

He comes home with this

big bag of Chinese take-out.

It's just...

like he knew!

- That's amazing.

- I know, Chinese food. Can you stand it?

That's fabulous.

Are you finished

with that?

Mmm. Ooh,

that's good.

So, you were starting to tell me

how the two of you met.

Oh, right.

I'm crossing

Boylston street...

and this moron doing a right on red

plows right into me and then takes off.

- We never did catch him.

- Were you hurt?

My nose was busted,

both cheekbones were cracked,

and the front of my jaw

was fractured.

They had me all taped up

like one of those mummies...

and all you could see were

my eyeballs and my lips.

- My God!

- So I'm in this hospital room...

and I'm sharing it with this woman

who works for an architectural firm.

Davis came in and

brought her balloons.

He felt sorry for me

on account of my being a mummy,

and he gave me

one of the balloons.

He came back the next day

to visit me,

then the next and

then the next.

It wasn't like a come-on

because he hadn't even seen my face.

It was just two people talking,

during which came out that...

I didn't have the insurance

to pay for the bill so he paid for it.

Davis did?

- How long were you in?

- Two weeks.

How could he afford that?

He's got all of his money in that house.

Oh, well, you know

he's an architect.

Yes, but he's just an associate.

It doesn't pay very much.

- You know, he got promoted.

- He has?

Mm-hmm, yeah.

They love him over at that firm now.

They do?

He's kicking big

architectural butt.

He takes me home from the hospital

and runs all these errands for me...

All this time,

he's never seen your face,

you're still

all wrapped up?

Oh, this is so Davis.

Then one night,

he kissed me.

And we started to...

well, you know.

Oooh.

Here I am in this mummy mask,

but it was incredible...

because I could be anyone.

Oh, God,

I can't tell you

how hot that made it.

So, then he wants to marry me

and he hasn't even seen my face.

So what he proposes is,

which is of course what we did,

is we got married the next week

at the hospital.

When the chaplain said "You may now kiss

the bride," instead of lifting the veil,

the doctor

unwrapped the gauze.

And he saw me

for the first time.

And he looked at me...

and he smiled.

And then,

the rest.

Oh.

Yeah.

Woo, Katie!

Katie, Katie bo-badie

Banana-fanna fo-fadie

Fee-fi-foo, matie

Katie

Yeah! Ollie!

- Ollie, Ollie bo-ballie

Banana-fanna... - Hello?

What are you

doing here?

What am I doing?

What are you doing here?

Well, I, I got kicked out of my

apartment and had no place to go.

I would have called you except you never told

me where you lived or where your office was.

You're the waitress,

Gwen.

Well, excuse me but I thought

we'd been introduced.

No, I recognize you. It's just,

you were wearing that Hungarian garb.

I had to get out

of that place...

because Karol and I had

a real difference of opinion...

of exactly when he could come

into my apartment unannounced...

and exactly where he could

put his hands while he was there.

- Didn't you have any friends

you could go to?

I'd only been in Boston 3 weeks.

All I had was that cute

drawing you did of this house.

I knew it was in Dobb's Mill and it was

just sitting here, not doing anything.

- Where did all of this furniture come from?

- Bigelows.

How did it get here?

Some furniture stampede?

- I'll pay you back.

- Pay me back?

Oh, Bobo, no.

Come on, honey.

The men are coming tomorrow

to put in the dog door.

- What is happening?

- If you'd just listen.

I'm listening.

I'm listening.

All right.

I was hungry, okay?

I went to Keller's Market

to pick up some peanut butter...

- and that's where I overheard

Hazel telling Travis...

Whoa, whoa. Hazel?

- Hazel Byron.

- You know Mrs. Byron?

Yeah, your piano teacher?

Great gal.

I don't know if you heard

about her son, Stuey,

but oh, what he put

that poor woman through!

Go back to the store

where Mrs. Byron says to Mr. Keller...

Okay. She told him

to just put it on her account.

Charge the groceries

to me?

Well, I was hungry.

You gotta understand that.

How'd you get him

to do it?

I guess he was under the impression

that I was...

Insane?

No, I just told him

to put it on our account.

- Our account?

- Well, it seemed harmless.

You told him

you were my wife?

What was I supposed to do?

You tell me?

And he believed you?

And why wouldn't he

believe me?

- Well...

- I'm not good enough to be your wife?

- No!

- Well, Travis thinks I'm good enough.

- And Harvey and Lorraine

think I'm good enough.

This coffee table.

- What about it?

- It's my mother's.

I know, it's not

my taste either.

But all of this

represents a compromise.

- You know your mother.

- My parents think we're married?

Hey, it's not so bad!

Everything's gonna be fine.

Would you mind

taking your feet off the furniture?

Gwen.

Gwen?

Gwen, Gwen, Gwen!

- You can't stay here.

- Why not?

- I hardly know you.

- Oh, come on!

Where the hell

am I supposed to go?

- What do you mean you hardly know me?

- Gwen, I'm sorry.

I'm terribly sorry

for the way I acted.

I'm going through a difficult time

and this isn't helping.

Look, I've got maybe a hundred bucks here,

just 'til you get back on your feet again.

- Take it.

- Is that payment for services rendered?

- Oh, come on!

- I don't want your money!

No, just my goddamn house, right?

- Hello?

- Becky.

I was dying to see how everything

looked, and I saw your car outside...

And I, uh...

Oh, congratulations.

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