Housesitter Page #4

I'm so happy for you.

You needn't be.

You want to tell her or should I?

You're a sh*t.

- Maybe I'll just wait and come back.

- Becky! Becky!

Becky, look,

here's what happened.

- Whatever it is, it's between you and Gwen.

- Becky...

Let me say one thing.

That is a wonderful woman,

and yours is a

genuinely unique marriage.

I'll say.

To marry a woman

whose face you've never seen...

until your wedding day at the hospital

when the doctor removes the gauze?

That is unique,

my friend!

It made my heart

go pitty-pat.

Did it?

Do you know why

I said no to you that day?

It's because

you scared me,

building this house,

putting a ribbon around it.

I didn't want

to marry a dreamer.

I'm not that brave.

But when I see you

through Gwen's eyes,

- you look very different to me.

- How?

Well, I could see how a dreamer,

with somebody who believes in him...

could do great things.

- I heard about your promotion.

- Hmm?

Associate partner?

Wow!

Oh, she told you

about that?

She's very proud of you.

She deserves to be.

- I must admit, I'm a little jealous.

- Really?

Yeah, a little.

- Becky?

- Hmm?

There's something

I think you should know.

I slept with

Boomer Bauer?

It's not like you

were being promiscuous.

He's your old boyfriend. You got

to reminiscing, and it just happened.

Except now you don't know

where we stand.

You gave me an old boyfriend

and you named him Boomer?

I'm a little new at this.

But that's the beauty of it,

that's why you left Boston to come up

here and decide between me and Boomer.

I can't believe

you told her that.

I can't believe you can't believe it!

You've told a few whoppers yourself!

- I told nice ones!

- Gwen.

Gwen, I love her.

I've always loved her,

but something went wrong.

She couldn't picture me as her husband.

But now, with our being married,

she finally sees me as

a husband-kind-of-guy.

So, I think you and I

can help each other. Here's the deal.

We're married but

our marriage is on the rocks.

Every weekend, I drive up and

try hard to save this marriage.

- I get to stay in the house?

- Absolutely!

Meanwhile, Becky's heart goes out to me,

you and I get divorced,

and then, boom,

I get Becky.

What do you say?

For a while there

it was really a great marriage.

Well it was

until you came into it.

Sweetheart,

oh sweetheart,

you've made me

so happy.

You've brought home

a princess.

- Hi, Pop.

- Son.

My little boy.

I see you've met Gwen.

Why'd you do it,

son?

- Well, I...

- Understand I like her. I like her a lot.

But she is something

of an acquired taste.

I've grown

quite fond of her.

It's just the secrecy,

not sharing the decision.

- I can't help but feel

it's part of our battle.

Oh, Pop!

Don't say a thing.

Gwen said it all for you.

- She has?

- What I'm trying to say to you...

is I apologize.

You do?

I won't deny

I was upset.

You go into debt to build a house

you won't live in...

so you end up

with a mortgage...

- and that crazy rent in the city.

- Don't start, Pop.

I won't.

I won't.

Finally you do make good decisions;

Gwen, for instance,

plus now giving up the apartment

and coming back here.

You told them I was

giving up my apartment?

Uh, let me think.

What she told us was

how sorry you felt.

Like the other week

when you cried?

No shame in it, son. Just don't

do it often. Nobody likes a crybaby.

You told them

I was sorry?

You did say you regretted

the situation, remember?

Okay, but I never said

I was giving up my apartment.

- Her intentions were good.

- Yes, her intentions.

But that's a whole, separate subject,

isn't it, dear?

- Up yours.

- Nicely put. What a princess, huh, Mom?

Look, Mom, Dad, I didn't particularly

want to discuss this now,

but you might as well know that, that,

that Gwen and I are separated.

- What?

- That's the reason she came up here.

What are you saying?

I'm saying

the marriage is a bust.

Go ahead, Pop, lecture me;

another immature move by Newton.

Davis.

Davis?

Look, I goofed, okay?

I thought I was doing you a favor

bringing you and your dad back together.

I don't see why we had

to get separated because of it.

- We separated because of Boomer.

- We did not.

I came up to

sort things out.

Geez, Boomer

was just a one-nighter.

Come on, boy.

Come on, boy.

Okay, okay.

Stay outside, Bobo.

Okay, okay.

Honey? Sweetheart?

Look who Bobo and I

bumped into jogging?

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

Oh, my goodness,

look at all the furnishings.

I tried to use reflective light

to create a feeling of warmth.

I think I'll

go make some tea.

Oh, here's the tub

right next to the bed.

- Notice it's designed for two.

- Oh?

- I'm going!

- Yeah, bye.

So, you like the house?

Oh, well, uh,

how could I not?

It's... In fact,

it makes me realize something...

about Gwen sleeping

with that old boyfriend?

I could see how something like that

might happen.

You can?

Can't you?

Oh, uh, yes.

Which is to say that, I...

You should really be more understanding

of her and, and forgiving.

I mean,

she's just human.

We're all just human.

Lemon or sugar?

- Bye.

- Bye.

This was wonderful.

Thanks for the tour... oh, and the tea.

Mom? Dad?

Reverend Lipton?

In the brief time I've gotten to know

Gwen, I must say I was shocked...

when your parents came and told me

that you were both experiencing...

difficulties.

But so often,

just by talking it out,

which we could arrange

say, on a weekly basis,

perhaps at the church...

- I am not going to counseling

with this woman,

and that is final.

- I'm disappointed in you.

- George, please.

- You've gotten all you want,

now you want out.

George.

Marriage is different from a

one-night stand, or used to be.

And it ought to be.

What's everybody

coming down on me for?

- She's the one.

- The one who what?

The one who made up...

- Made up what?

- Who made up...

with her old boyfriend

and bedded down with him.

She slept with her old boyfriend

after we were married.

Maybe we should wait

out on the porch.

- You babied him, Edna.

Now he can't hold his woman.

Oh, shut up, George.

- I was bored.

- What?

Let her

get it out now.

All I do is stay

around this house.

- He never lets me do what I want.

- Try to be specific.

Like those art classes

I wanted to take.

And sometimes I really want

to go to the theater.

Then he complains

about my thighs.

So great, I'll go

to dancing class.

He says, oh no,

it's too expensive.

- I don't believe this.

- No, no, this is good.

Purge, Gwen.

Purge.

The courses I want to take

at the university.

Do you think

he'll let me?

What about the, the...

uh, tennis lessons.

You quit after three weeks. The same

thing with the, the, uh, scuba diving.

Because of those comments

you made about me and my rubber suit.

I said you looked

like a porpoise.

- Is that supposed to be cute?

- Flipper was a porpoise!

I don't want to be

compared to Flipper.

- I'm not comparing you to Flipper.

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